Why You Shouldn’t Study Shakespeare

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Some of us, more than others, have taken those Shakespeare lessons in school a little too close to heart. So much so that we decided to delve deeper into the man’s mastery with words, words, and more words.

Shakespeare was the father — or one of the fathers (with the utmost respect to Homer and Johnson and Marlowe) — of English literature. And that’s one of the reasons people study Shakespeare; he’s done most of the heavy lifting already. When you study Shakespeare as a subject, you don’t have to create anything from scratch. There are no eureka moments. (As the ignorant people would say, but that’s for another time.)

As a student, you’d have to memorise the structure, the poetry and find the prose that’s hidden within. It’s not medical science, it’s not astronomy, and it sure as hell ain’t math.

At least in India, studying Shakespeare is transferring the textbook onto your answer sheet. Once you’re done, you’re ready to graduate with a degree in Shakespeare. That’s our education system — it’s all text and nothing more.

That’s why it’s so sexy — because it’s easy. Literature students thrive in repetition, and the concept of repeating book words appeals to housewives who’re busy with kids running around the house. It appeals to their husbands who advocate women education and empowerment. It appeals to the losers who can’t do math and science at school. Because, well, let’s face it, people think it’s easier to count metre and Iambs than it is to count metre per second. And who’d want to fumble with computer programmes when they could just scribble lines of rhyme “as defined in the textbook?”

Plus, in Shakespeare, you’re studying plays with words and words with plays; tone and tenor, method and manner. All that sounds far easier than calculus.

Here’s another reason people study Shakespeare: It sounds exciting in the preface of the textbook, but when you flip the cover and cradle the pages, you’ll stare at opinions. Not prose, not poetry, just random interpretations of Bard’s rhetoric.

Your question paper wants observations of moderators, not your own. You think you’re studying Shakespeare when, in fact, you’re studying summaries of the original piece that — this is called irony in literature — never made it the text.

That’s what they do to you when you want to study Shakespeare. They make you study the ones who’ve studied Shakespeare, and not Shakespeare himself. They divulge the amateur as the master; a blunder if there ever was one.

Alas, a formal study of Shakespeare includes none of his actual works and all of misleading citations and cheap caricatures. And to continue studying Shakespeare would endanger our minds, and force us into thinking like the wannabes desperate for a sliver of Shakespearean glory. We’d limit our thoughts and diminish our ability to differentiate witty wit from winding word choice.

And that’s why you should never study Shakespeare. He wasn’t meant to be studied. He was meant to be experienced.

His works are to laugh at, to cry over, and to pine about with bottles of wine. Shakespeare, the man, stomped on rules. He cut licences from rule books. He had a way of doing things, of seeing things. And you won’t get that by reading what others say he says.

You won’t see it when others tell you. You will see it when you see it for yourself. Shakespeare speaks to the reader, textbooks speak at the reader.

You’d study for the marks, but you experience for the thrill it gives you. Shakespeare visualises life and body and love and beauty — he talks human traits. That’s not something to study, that’s the essence of life you inhale, that’s what pierces you, transcending emotions that translate into words.

Studying Shakespeare sticks words to your head. Experiencing it tugs at your heart.

Converse Impromptu

Hello there! Fancy seeing you at my desk. I thought your workplace was on the other side of the floor?

Oh, you’re chatting with my team, that’s nice. Getting a break from all the sales calls you’re dealing with? Well, you deserve it. After all, how many deals do we have now, five Yes, that’s a big improvement from last year’s four. It’s awesome, and no you’re not wasting our time at all. We’re happy to put our work on hold, this is important stuff, whatever we’re talking about.

Hey, no, that’s ok. Don’t bother getting up from my chair, I’ll just stand around for a while. Besides, I’ve been sitting all day at a horrible meeting. The boss just grabbed my throat about that report we should’ve sent. But that can wait. What were you saying, again? Oh, yes the league.

Huh? Sorry, I’m not bored. I’m just exhausted you see. But don’t let that get in the way of your conversation. It must be important if you must have it at my desk.

Oh, yes, he shouldn’t have shouted at the umpire like that. And I did see how the coach reacted. I would have been offended. But — er — you’re invading my space and I’m not punching you, so what do I know, huh?

That’s great, I mean, it was so cool when he lurched over and caught the ball. I didn’t think he would get it either. No, I didn’t nod off to sleep! I was awake, watching the game. Oh, that final moment, when he kissed the ground? Wow, yes, I agree, pure love for his nation. You’re right, that’s what we need, more sportsmen like him. Such a team player. He’s always focussed on the game, never wavering. You know, I’ve never seen him at after parties or hangouts either. I’ve heard he doesn’t do that stuff. Of course, we work at a tech company, and we’re not the same as him. But I’m saying, what a man!

Sorry, what, a movie tomorrow? But don’t you have a meeting with that foreign client? Oh, you sure someone else can handle it? I thought it was your responsibility. Well, anyway, I wish I could come, but I have plans. Plus, work doesn’t happen on its own, you know. Anything else you want to talk about?

Ah, ha, good places for beer! That’s a never-ending conversation. Except, I have to leave early and you taking over my workplace isn’t that great. But sure, it’s Wednesday. It’s not like it’s the most important day, huh?

You know what? I’m just going to take my laptop to the system admin. It’s been weird all week. I’ll see you around?

Never.

Not Many People Know Their High

In the age of technology, people force themselves to adhere to their 8-hours-a-day routine. Something’s wrong with that setup.

People want to snooze and wish it were a holiday. They long to lounge on the sofa and snack on beer and pizza.

But reality hits hard and so does work pressure. Walking into office has become as taxing as walking for exercise.

The growing pile of papers on their desks makes brains decay. They know their lives are headed nowhere. Something’s missing, they know that, but they know not what.

So they look for happiness anywhere they could find it. They crave elation; a high beyond stacks of tasks. And they find it. Some find it in coke, some meth, or food, whiskey, tobacco, even — they ache for high, and find addiction, instead.

Getting high transcends to losing consciousness. Laughter becomes torturous, and confidence, a long-lost relative. Solitude reeks of isolation and loneliness gnaws at them even in a group.

But as the weekend wanes and Monday appears, the clock ticks again and responsibilities rise. They master the art of being busy, too occupied even to notice the sunset. The kids yell into the phone, and the spouse wonders aloud if they’d have a house of their own. The father pops in to say hi, complains about his own wife and, wants a recliner for Christmas. Then walks away waving in the air.

The week goes by and Wednesday arrives, along with lengthy memos and unfinished tasks. And they go round in circles reaching nowhere. Trying to please the spouse, the father, and the neighbour, they fail through and through. Life goes on, competing with dad next door, or mom across the block, wondering what relatives would say about that new shirt, or how colleagues would react to the tie clip.

They lift weights heavier than themselves. Providing for all others except themselves. Who’d blame them for kicking back with a cold beer? As the weekend begins again, they run up the mountain out of breath. From growing up to growing old, a life so clocked they’ve found nothing to make them high.

A team outing, a friendly dinner party, and a social drink — to avoid judgement. They look up to society, to accept them, to feel inclusive. And if that means they have sacrifice beer for something stronger, so be it. Yearning to belong, they’re looking for recognition even in the canon’s mouth.

Until one day it all stops. One day, when life flashes before their eyes, all they’d see is disappointing years, outlining work schedules and weak-kneed drinking parties. That day, they realise they’ve lived life playing roles. From a schoolboy and a young lover to a soldier, and to a father, they’ve played each of the seven roles but lived through none of those.

They’d realise: They’d spent their time making their teachers, parents, spouse, children, friends, and even their grandchildren happy. And when they see they haven’t seen their highest point of happiness, it’s already too late. We are they.

Unless we stop now.

Unless we shove the elephant in the room, it won’t move away. Unless we reflect now, we’d have nothing to reflect on later. Unless we find our high now, we never will.

Try something new for the first time. Wake up an hour early. Watch the sunrise. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Pet a dog, or sit on a bench.

Reflect.

Chase a squirrel to amuse yourself. Read a book to a child. Play the piano. Write a letter to your fist crush. Give it to your spouse instead. Ruffle your kid’s hair, and flash a smile to Maintenance Bob. Hit the gym. Eat some candy, forget the alarm for a day. Skip the tie for work one day, laugh without reason, reason without cause.

Somewhere down the lane, you’d have found something that made you high.

And when you do, hold on. Once you’ve seen the little joys of life, the things that make life worth living, you wouldn’t go back to the dark chasm of self-hatred.

You’d sleep better than you ever did. You’d read and write and laugh and sing like you don’t give a damn. The world may cringe, the world may judge, but you’ll have changed. Because when you’ve found your true high, you’ve found a way to accept yourself.

And as life flashes before your dropping eyes, nothing else would matter.

But First…

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Pouting lips, crinkled eyes, and crooked smiles. “Aww, poor girls! Beautiful but handicapped,” crooned my 85-year-old grandmother.

She was looking over my shoulder as I flipped through my friend’s selfies on Facebook. My friend, along with her cousins, had gone to Goa for the weekend.

From what I could see, they had had great fun. They’d spent all night in the casino, all afternoon at the Agoda fort, and all morning going from the Basilica of Bom Jesus to the Se Cathedral. And all these I knew because I could see fantastic structures looming behind their heads.

My 20-year-old friend was at the peak of her life. And life for her was travel and photography. Or selfies, as they now call it.

She’d been to all over South India and has over a thousand selfies to prove it. She neither remembers the names of the places she’s visited nor know how old some of those churches are, but she knew she’d been there.

Until a few years ago, if we’re on a road trip and notice a monkey chasing another, we’d dive into our bags hoping we had a camera with. We yearned to freeze moments in time to make them last forever. But that was once upon a time.

Nowadays, though, we have a camera on us at all times; we may forget to pack our lunch, but never our phones.

My friend, for instance, travels just for the sake of selfies. And with every selfie, she becomes more conscious of her looks. Her photos now show a slender, lip-glossed, powder-puffed woman posing in front of an old, waning Chitra Museum.

Once, people travelled to get away from their routine lives, for solitude. Now, however, people go places for selfies that would fetch them likes and love.

My friend is no different. She goes for the rush of standing before a renowned construction as if she’s conquered the old conquerors. Her parents stay abroad, and she with her grandmother, who, by the way, is too busy doing charity to keep up with her grand-daughter. Every time she posts a selfie on Facebook or Instagram, she writes a message to us, asking for opinions. And she’d accept nothing less than a Like. And thanks to Facebook’s new updates, she can also get the Love she so craves.

We’re all a bit like her. Smiling for the camera, dressing up for a like, or making fools out of ourselves for some acceptance.

Perhaps, we should leave our phones behind, and climb a mountain just for the fun of it. Or go on a hike just because our knees are strong enough. Perhaps, for once, we should live the moment — flyaway hair and all.

Spot the Difference

There’s a difference between praise and flattery. Praise is sincere appreciation, while flattery, well, is false. And sometimes, we go overboard.

Some say nice things to get their way. Some others don’t know what hit them. However, it’s nice to know that someone out there likes your work, appreciates your time, and makes an effort to make you feel good.

Sure, they could be lying, or trying to control you into doing something for them. Who’s to say, they could even flatter you, gag you, drag you, and take your money away. But what if they do none of those?

That one person, who seems like a stalker, and a sweet talker, could just be an admirer. That one person who praises you so much that you begin to doubt yourself, perhaps just likes you for who you are.

We’re a untrusting society. Parents teach children to stay away from strangers. We discourage friendships from foreign lands, lower statuses, and other castes. We’ve become so cautious that we are too afraid to accept someone’s appreciation. We’re accustomed to looking for the “catch” in every statement.

“Hey, let’s get pizza. I’ll pay.” — Why, what information do you need?

“I’m happy I could help.” — What do you want in return?

Sometimes, we judge. But most times, we judge too soon. Not everyone looks at life the same way we do. Maybe something we did somewhere had changed someone’s life. We need to realise that sincere praise is far from flattery. They could mean to tell you how much you mean to them.

Flattery to some people is truth to some others. Except the ones dabbling in fakery just to manipulate you — those bastards are real.