Little things

Although I hate it, I’m a workaholic. I have trouble letting go of work even after official working hours. It’s got a lot to do with not having fixed times or shift times. I’m used to seeing colleagues show up at work after noon and leave at midnight or arrive at 8 and leave at 4.

I’ve done it plenty of times myself. Sometimes I stay up late watching a movie, cleaning my room, or chatting with my roommates, oversleeping the next morning. Come to think of it, some of the stringent time rules in many workplaces are insignificant since they don’t consider the frivolousness of human nature.

Or that’s what I used to think.

I love having flexible work times—after all, isn’t that why everyone wants to be a freelancer? People think freelancing is the ideal way of life—PJs, late night snacking, mid morning brunches, and still damn good money. Alas, I now know that that’s just a stereotype the internet has inflicted upon us. Nothing about freelancing, or working flexible hours, is any more fun than working regular hours.

It took me over five years to realise this.

A few weeks ago, I was at work lounging—it was rather a quiet and uneventful day. I’d finished most of my tasks for the week and had plenty of time to kill. I’d been working so hard the couple of months leading to that day that I felt a gaping emptiness when I didn’t have anything to occupy myself. And so I succumbed to the YouTube temptation, watching a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef in the North Eastern coast of Australia.

It’s a three-part documentary, each running about an hour. And as I watched the camera pan across the ocean waters, and heard the narrator’s voice ring through my headphones, I realised how ignorant I’ve been about the world’s most gorgeous and vast spread of natural phenomenon. I had no idea it stretches over 1400 miles. Or that there’re 900 islands spread through the Reef, or that the Reef wasn’t formed until 10000 years ago—or that almost 40 percent of it is destroyed already.

Sure, I knew the Great Barrier Reef was a natural treasure undergoing an unnatural devastation, but that was the extent of my knowledge. I never had the time in my life to watch documentaries or read articles online about the world that surrounded my immediate office and work.

In a moment of shame and disgust, I understood how blinded I’d been by my work routine. I’d awake, exercise, go to work, return, and engage on social media before going to sleep. I read during the weekends and every other chance I get, but that’s limited to fiction, online articles, or general nonfiction. I’ve never spent time appreciating the magnitude of the world’s events outside of the realm of my work. I’ve been so obsessed with meeting my personal requirements that I’ve been missing the finer aspects of life—like widening my eyes in wonder at a coral reef, or experiencing the joy in my mother’s voice when I make time to chat with her.

I spent the last couple of weeks with my parents, and I made conscious efforts to indulge myself less in office work and more in my surroundings. And it’s served me well too. Now that office work doesn’t dictate my day, I’m noticing small things about work that don’t matter as much as I’d thought. Little delays or mistakes that would’ve upset me earlier don’t anymore. After all, there’s a lot more to life than the pay check.

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Recover

Blew, the wind with gusto
knocking off trees, weak knees
pulling down their working hats
huddled on the mighty ants
locking up their front doors
the humankind stayed indoors
gaining speed, the winds went on
crashing on air, breaking all power
spreading darkness across town
for days until the eye had passed
typical was the tornado—unpredictable
unforgiving to people and crops
uprooting farmland and livestock
and nourishment worthy of a year
leaving no room to chance
and not a chance of recovery
blow to life, presented the wind
awakes though the old man,
when all is dusted and gone
picking up tools, firing up tractors
loaning cattle herd, persevering
farmer, thy name is resilience

Downtown Miami

Pressure

As chlorine water

smothering from deep within

suffocating life

Ancient photographs on exhibit at the Freedom Tower in Miami, Florida

Past

Memory long gone

etched vivid and framed on wall

modern photograph


Photo: Ancient photographs on exhibit at the Freedom Tower in Miami, Florida

Siblings

With joy the house filled
as mother’s womb with child

second offspring twas to be
and the forefront of attention
became therefore the first one
master of the second place

jealousy knocked on the door
as they rolled up the new born
warm and soft in woollen blankets
that were once the older one’s

hatred raised its ugly head
when toys, they handed down
retrieving from the archives
rattles unseen in many years

a nightmare school became
setting an example, the older
teaching and taking care of
shepherding the little one

ages went by in mute anger
bosom brothers of a mother
never tormenting the big was
ever in support, yet still in rage

with poison his heart filled
whilst younger’s with admiration