What happens when you listen too much

They say you need to listen. Listening is an important social skill, not to mention a life skill. I declared myself, in no less that 700 words (still don’t know how I managed that!), that I believe in listening.

But I also believe there’s something as too much listening. And unlike believing a magical man lives in the sky, this belief comes from some hard-earned experience I would’ve been happy without.

Because as important as it is to listen, it is also important to be heard — or in the simpler active voice — to speak.

That’s where I missed out. And it costs me. Every. Single. Time.

Imagine someone, who’s a great listener, who’s surrounded by sad people who don’t have anyone to talk to. Sure, these people have friends and are active on social media, but they have no one to talk about their deep feelings, their sadness, their worries, and simple joys.

What happens when you’re the listener in a world like that? You become likeable of course — which isn’t much of a surprise, considering you are the only person available for the others.

It feels great, uplifting even, to be the one person everyone turns to in times of need or worry. But — it’s just too easy to tip the boat.

And I’ve been there.

And I know: When you listen too much — people take advantage of you. You become the punchbag for others to vent out their feelings, and you end up depressed and sad.

And sometimes, all that listening makes me seem a loner, sadist, or pathetic, needy lunatic. But I don’t care. As long as I don’t bore others with my stories.

Human Weakness

How often do we find ourselves trying hard to convince people of our intentions? Quite often, in my case.

There’s something so weak about human nature that begs to be understood, to be heard, to be trusted, adored, and — in short — to make sense.

And then I saw this on Pinterest. And it made me question everything.

obligation

Makes sense, huh?

Human Nature. A Conundrum

I’m hung up on The Blacklist.

red

I’m hung up on brilliant writing, cold-blooded murders, deception, manipulation, justice, and purjury. But most of all, I’m hung up on human nature.

Ego. It’s a weird word. It sounds weird. It looks weird. And it means more than its disyllabic utterance. At the end of every episode of every season of every show, I had to question my instincts about human nature and all I thought I knew about love and ego.

Humans are egotistic bastards. Nothing changes that.

But love changes anything.

The revelation surprised me. After all, I had lost all hope in humanity. I felt rather negative about humans. How could anyone demand control over another? I hated it that parents could dominate their child’s life. I couldn’t bear the thought of one person dictating entire nations. It felt like hypnosis — in a world that prides itself democratic.

But then I saw The Blacklist. It strengthened my feelings, of course, but it shook my beliefs as well.

I hadn’t thought anyone could ever care for another so much as to go to any lengths to fight for the ones they cared. No matter the price — even if it were the ego they held most dear — they’d give it up nonetheless. Because, love.

And at that moment, I regained hope in humanity. I know, The Blacklist is nothing more than awesome fiction. But we are a race that thrives on fiction. We seek inspiration in non existence. Fiction taught me survival in a world of dangerous, manipulative people. But fiction also showed me the world has people who’d give up everything they treasured to protect those they loved.

Perhaps humility will endure. Wait till I finish the series.