What If -?

what if
What if I wake up tomorrow to find I’ve hit a block so hard that there’s no coming back? What if, I can’t write anymore?

It’s a hypothetical question, but a wake up call as well. Because I don’t have a contingency plan. I don’t know what I’d do if I don’t write. I’m lucky my job involves writing and my hobby is writing. But if I can’t do the one thing I can do, what would I do then?

I would try singing. But I make people bleed from their ears.

Maybe I’d just go back to studying. I like studying, I like poring over books and reading between lines. I like reading great writers, and I’d revel in words, delve deep into the mystical world of literary puns and illiterate goons.

I’d wake up each morning, breathe in words — from Shakespeare and Milton to Doyle and Christie. I’d bury myself in fresh prints and vintage tints, reading in bed, every day — on Valentine’s too.

And while turning the pages, I’d whistle my favourite tunes — and no one can tell me it’s not a girl-thing to do .  I’d sing when I feel like it, I’d read aloud, I’d narrate, I’d play the part of the main character and test my vocals; “Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?”

I’d read book after book, I’d turn page after page, I’d inhale in morsels, the ink on those books, and get drunk in the pleasure of alliteration and word manipulation.

And then I’d realise romance isn’t my forte, and I’d pick something closer to my heart; because I know, “something wicked this way comes.”

And once I step over my Rubicon, there’s no return. And I’d be for eternity under the influence of the greatest drugs known to mankind; “words, words, words.”

What becomes of the broken-hearted

broken heartedWe’ve all faced it before, but still forget how easy it is to break your heart again and again.

I’ve had so many heartbreaks.

When I was five passing through the fancy store, longing to make that expensive cloth doll my own.

When I walked into school for the first time, and my neighbour had longer, darker hair than mine.

When my class teacher punctured my ego, knocking points off for my hasty handwriting.

When my mother denied me a fifth slice of cake.

When my father wouldn’t sign my report card because of a few failures, and I had to face detention in school.

When I opened my laptop for the first time in a new job and it didn’t boot.

When I realized my colleagues have moved on and I was still getting coffee.

When I stole my brother’s wallet only to find bills in there.

When I had to endure the funeral of my favourite teacher.

They all flash before my eyes when I play this song in my headset.

“What becomes of the broken-hearted… who had love that’s now departed?”

And I realize: We’ll be fine.

What happens when you listen too much

They say you need to listen. Listening is an important social skill, not to mention a life skill. I declared myself, in no less that 700 words (still don’t know how I managed that!), that I believe in listening.

But I also believe there’s something as too much listening. And unlike believing a magical man lives in the sky, this belief comes from some hard-earned experience I would’ve been happy without.

Because as important as it is to listen, it is also important to be heard — or in the simpler active voice — to speak.

That’s where I missed out. And it costs me. Every. Single. Time.

Imagine someone, who’s a great listener, who’s surrounded by sad people who don’t have anyone to talk to. Sure, these people have friends and are active on social media, but they have no one to talk about their deep feelings, their sadness, their worries, and simple joys.

What happens when you’re the listener in a world like that? You become likeable of course — which isn’t much of a surprise, considering you are the only person available for the others.

It feels great, uplifting even, to be the one person everyone turns to in times of need or worry. But — it’s just too easy to tip the boat.

And I’ve been there.

And I know: When you listen too much — people take advantage of you. You become the punchbag for others to vent out their feelings, and you end up depressed and sad.

And sometimes, all that listening makes me seem a loner, sadist, or pathetic, needy lunatic. But I don’t care. As long as I don’t bore others with my stories.

Human Weakness

How often do we find ourselves trying hard to convince people of our intentions? Quite often, in my case.

There’s something so weak about human nature that begs to be understood, to be heard, to be trusted, adored, and — in short — to make sense.

And then I saw this on Pinterest. And it made me question everything.

obligation

Makes sense, huh?