Tag: beliefs

Chapter Twenty One: A Call for Help

They didn’t know where to start. Praveena didn’t want people to judge Niveda, and Anil agreed. They wondered if they should speak to the principal; they could imagine his reaction, “Drugs!” he would exclaim, “Oh, goodness! If the management hears about this, I’ll lose my job. You’d better leave the college and then take whatever medication you want!”

Praveena signed as she imagined his big eyes rolling in fear.

“He’s a chicken,” she told Anil when he suggested talking to the principal. The two of them sat in the canteen, sipping dreadful coffees while Niveda remained in the hostel. She had taken the past two days off from college.

“Is Niveda alright?” Anil was concerned about Niveda, he hoped Niveda wouldn’t have to undergo the difficulties he had faced.

“Not really,” Praveena replied, “it’s really difficult for her to get through even a day without the drugs. She’s depending on it.”

Anil nodded, he knew how it was, he understood, only too well, what she would be going through. “It’s good that she decided to stay in the hostel, she’d be vulnerable and could easily be provoked if she comes to class. Someone might just annoy her.”

Praveena looked at him, thoughtful. Was he saying the truth or just pretending?

“Anil?”

“Hmm?” he asked without looking up from his coffee.

“Were you saying the truth the other day?”

He looked into her eyes. “Yes,” he said simply. “I love you.” It was easier the second time, much to his surprise.

Parvena remained emotionless, “I meant when you said you were addicted to drugs.” she said with gritted teeth.

“Oh,” Anil smiled sheepishly, “I thought — yeah, that was true.” he said and shrugged it off.

“How did you — ?” she shook her head, unable to say it.

Anil smiled, “It started out as fun, and then went out of control. Lucky I had a good teacher to help me out.”

Praveena smiled, and then all of a sudden, shouted out, “That’s it. A good teacher! Let’s ask James!” Everyone else in the canteen stared at them as Anil too shouted in ecstasy, “Yeah!”

They gathered their things and left the canteen. There was still fifteen minutes left in their lunch break. James would be in his room. They hurried, their footsteps echoing in the hallway. They reached his room and knocked.

“Come in,” said James’ muffled voice. They entered.

“Hello Praveena, and Anil” he said courteously. He sat behind his desk, going thorough a few papers strewn across his desk. The walls were covered with students’ assignments and news paper clippings. There were long articles of famous studies and research results.

“Thanks for the appreciation, Praveena.” he smiled, looking at Praveena’s look of admiration. “but that’s not what you’re here for, right?” he sounded a bit more serious.

“Good afternoon, Mr James. Could we talk to you? Praveena heaved, breathless. “It’s important.”

“I’m free, go ahead.” it was this attitude that impressed Praveena and the other students. He was always enthusiastic about students approaching him for just about anything.

“Sir,” Anil began, a little tentative. He took a quick glance at Praveena, and when she nodded, he continued, “it’s our friend, Niveda.”

“What about her?” Though Niveda wasn’t the most attentive in class, but James didn’t sound annoyed or angry; he was just curious.

“Sir,” Praveena spoke. She told him all about Niveda’s family issues, and how she had become dependent on drugs.

James listened without interrupting. When she had finished, he asked, “you’re her room mate, right? You didn’t notice anything?”

Praveena hung her head in embarrassment, “No. I couldn’t recognize.”

“Don’t blame yourself” James advised lightly, “just be careful from now on.”

“So, what do we do now, Sir?” Anil asked.

“She has to see a therapist, of course,” James said gathering the papers on his table. He put them in a drawer, turned to them and said, “I know a friend, I’ll have him come over.” he assured them. “Have you told anyone else about this?” he added. When they shook their heads he said, “good, these people would only care about the reputation of the school. You two tell her not to worry. Keep encouraging her to hang on. We’ll sort this thing together.” He ended with a confident wink.

“Thank you, Sir.”

They closed the door behind them, their hearts much lighter.

National Blog Posting Month – Day 24

Chapter Twenty: Unnoticed Signs 2

Praveena stared at him, as his smile faded away. “That wasn’t what you were about to say, was it?” he asked, looking upset and, at the same time, concerned about her look of exasperation.

She shook her head.

“Is there a problem?” he asked now more serious. She nodded. “what is it?”

“It’s Niveda,” and Praveena told him all that had happened earlier. “I think there’s some problem she’s not telling us.” Praveena finished, worried.

Anil looked thoughtful. “I think you’re right,” he said slowly, “she’s even stopped doing her assignments,” he rubbed his anchor beard. “You think we should talk to her?”

Praveena nodded, “we should.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” he asked standing up. Praveena stood up as well, and together, they walked towards the hostel. Once outside, Praveena called Niveda saying something urgent had come up.

About five minutes later, the three of them sat on the grass in silence.
“What is it, you two?” Niveda was irritated. They had disturbed her work, and she didn’t like it.

Praveena took a deep breath, “Is there a problem, Niveda?”

“Yes,” Niveda cried defiant, “you two disturbed me.”

“Who was the woman who came to meet you?” Anil took her off guard.

Niveda stood up fast. “I’m not talking about this.” there was an unmistakable finality in her voice that Praveena was used to. Anil caught her by the arm, “Oh yes, you are” he said gently looking into her eyes. Praveena was surprised, he wasn’t annoyed or irritated. He was so genuine. “Sit,” he said. And she did.

“Please tell us, what’s bothering you?” Praveena pleaded. She was so close to Niveda that she couldn’t stand to see her in pain.

“Nothing,” Niveda responded growing more defensive.

“Look,” Praveena tried coaxing her, “I’ve seen you tossing and turning at night. You’re not sleeping, you’re not eating, and you’re telling us there’s nothing? Have you seen yourself in the mirror?”

Niveda remained impassive.

“Are you doing drugs?” Anil asked all of a sudden.
“What? Anil! What are you saying?” Praveena exclaimed shocked. She couldn’t believe her ears. Anil held up a hand silencing her, and turned to Niveda who looked in the verge of tears. He looked right into her eyes, and she broke.

Niveda began weeping incessantly. She rested her head on Praveena’s shoulder and cried more. Anil held her hand reassuringly. “That’s it, is it?”

Niveda nodded.

“How long?” Praveena’s voice was strained.

“Three years.”

There was a shocked silence. Anil’s face was sympathetic. Praveena was wondering how Niveda had adapted the habit. She still couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed her best friend had been doing drugs all the while. She thought of the many incidents she had caught Niveda sneaking away to the balcony or neglecting her work, or staying awake all night. She couldn’t believe that despite the countless indications, she hadn’t identified it sooner. She blamed herself for failing to recognize Niveda’s symptoms, and felt guilty as if she had somehow encouraged Niveda.

“We have to do something about this, maybe rehab —” Anil began, but Niveda interrupted. “No, forget it. Just leave it, I’ll be fine.” she wiped the tears from her face in a hurry as if to show it wasn’t a problem.

“You won’t be,” Praveena spoke up gently. “We have to do something to get away from those stuff.”

Niveda looked alarmed now. She didn’t want anybody else to know about this; they’d hate her, they’d throw her out of college. Her whole life would be destroyed. “I’ll take care, it’s easy really — to dump those stuff.” Even as she said it, she knew she couldn’t do without those, even for day.

“Who’re you kidding? It’s not easy, and you know it.”

Both Niveda and Praveena turned to stare at Anil. He cast his eyes towards his feet, not meeting their glances.

“How would you know?” Niveda asked incredulously.

“Because—I’ve been there, and done it.” His voice was flat.

“What?” This time it was Praveena. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Anil looked at Praveena apologetically, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. Two years ago, I was addicted to drugs. I had a teacher who helped me recover.” he turned to Niveda, who looked like someone had slapped her on the face, “And it’s not easy. You should want to give up, and that’s never easy.”

“We should try it.” Praveena said with an air of finality.

Niveda remained quiet. She knew they were right. Catching the other two glaring at her, she nodded.

It was past midnight and as Praveena lay awake on her pillow, she realized Niveda wasn’t on her bed. She had thought Niveda was already asleep. Reaching out, she switched on the lamp between their beds. In the dim light, she could make out Niveda, sitting on the study table overlooking the window. She was staring at the moon.

Praveena went up to her, and touched her shoulder gently. “Hey, aren’t you sleepy?” Niveda turned to face her. She had been crying. “I’m a freak.” moaned in pain.

“What? — no! No, you’re not.” Praveena didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t tell Niveda how much she mattered to her. Niveda, however, continued to cry, her breath coming out in gasps.

“Hey, don’t worry. Everything’ll be ok. We’ll talk to your parents, we’ll help you get out of this. We’ll do this together,” she said earnestly. It was sad see her friend shattered.

“My parents?” Niveda laughed, a dry hallow laugh. “they don’t care about me at all. You know, it was because of them that I got into drugs. They never spoke to me, they even forgot they had a daughter. I was so lonely and miserable. I never laughed, I was depressed. It was my classmate who got me into this stuff. He said it’ll help me forget my troubles. He’s the only one I spoke to about my problems at home. I trusted him, and he —” she broke off crying hysterically, “he destroyed my life!” she wept. “Now look at me! I’m a freak!” she ended with a shout, a short whining shout like an injured dog.

Praveena didn’t know what to say.

National Blog Posting Month – Day 23

Chapter Nineteen: Unnoticed Signs

Three years of psychology, and Praveena had two of them left. Over the past year, she had grown increasingly close to Niveda and Anil. They became her best friends. For the first time, she had been friends with someone for such a long period. She felt much happier and comfortable with them than with anyone else.

One bright Saturday afternoon, as she sat alone in the open ground in front of the hostel, she reflected on how her life had changed since her mother’s death. She hadn’t cried at all. She had mourned her mother, but she hadn’t, or couldn’t give in to tears. She wondered why that had happened. It was the saddest she had ever felt in her life, but she had had overcome it unlike anybody else. She smiled to herself. These thoughts were bringing back old memories—memories she’d rather keep buried deep within her.

She thought of Niveda and Anil, and wondered what she would have done without the pair of them. They had helped her recover and overcome the problems within her, without even trying. Their presence by her side, was enough of a moral support to her. How much they had grown together. They knew each other so well and everyone in college had heard of their friendship. She let the happy feeling flow inside her, when suddenly a woman walked up to her looking lost.

She was a large woman, and she wore a sari. Praveena didn’t like the look of that woman, particularly her betel stained lips, and eyes that had lost it’s focus.

“Do you know a girl named Niveda?” she asked Praveena in the local language, Kanada. ‘What does this woman want with Niveda?’ Praveena wondered. She had never seen Niveda talking to this woman, or even talk of a woman. She wanted to ask, but decided against it. She nodded to the woman and reached her phone to call Niveda.

“Hey, Niveda. There’s a woman out here,” she paused, and glanced at the woman who was now looking around the grounds, “wanting to see you.” Praveena knew that Niveda would have caught the disapproval in her voice.

“Coming,” she replied in haste and disconnected the call. Praveena, surprised, wondered what had happened. Why did Niveda sound so tense? Even a bit scared? What about this woman was so important that she sounded so hurried? She had to ask Niveda.

A few minutes later, Praveena watched as Niveda run towards her and the woman. When she came to a halt, Praveena could see her shaking. Niveda had lost a lot of weight over the past year; she had had to visit her family doctor every weekend. She didn’t seem too weak, but she was not eating as much as she used to.

“Why did you come here?” she barked at the woman. Before Praveena could say anything, Niveda shouted at the woman again, who for some odd reason, obeyed her without protest.

“Come on,” Niveda pulled the woman away from Praveena’s earshot. From where she stood, Praveena could see them talking, but couldn’t hear what they said. Niveda seemed angry; she waved a threatening finger at the woman, who, Praveena was surprised to see, didn’t cower with fear. The woman stood tall, peering at Niveda, replying quietly.

And all of a sudden, Niveda didn’t look angry anymore; she appeared more frightened. Her face tensed and seemed like she was pleading with the woman.

Praveena watched, wondering what was going on. Then the woman pulled out a small brown paper bag from with her handbag. She extended it to Niveda, who longingly reached out to get it. Before she gave it though, the woman said something and Niveda nodded her head vigorously, her bloodshot eyes on the bag.

The woman gave the bag to Niveda and left without a backward glance. Niveda stood there, examining the bag’s contents. A look of relaxation spread across her face. She then noticed Praveena’s eyes fixed at her. Smiling, she turned and hurried back to the hostel.

Praveena turned back to stare at the dew on the grass. ‘That was odd,’ she thought. Why would Niveda hide something from her? It wasn’t like Niveda to do this. Praveena had expected her to walk up to her, and explain this strange woman and why she had come. She just sat there, disappointed and curious.

For the rest of the day, Niveda acted as if the woman hadn’t showed up at all. They had lunch with Anil, but neither of them brought the topic to the table. They had the usual conversation and the customary walk around the college campus speaking of useless things. When the sun grew too hot for them to walk anymore, they found some grass under the Neem tree.

They sat in silence for a while and all of a sudden Niveda slapped her forehead hard saying, “My assignment! I didn’t finish it yet! What about you?” she asked the other two.

“Done it,” Praveena shrugged. “Yeah, me too.” Anil said a little too quickly.

“Oh,” Niveda looked crestfallen. “Drat! Ok, I’ll go finish it. See you guys later,” Waving carelessly, she left the duo wondering.

Looking at Niveda’s retreating figure, Praveena wondered what could bother Niveda. She turned to Anil, hoping to talk to him about Niveda. That’s when she noticed, Anil stared at her with a funny expression on his face. “What’s with you?” Praveena laughed.

“Praveena,” he began, his forehead cringed seriously, “I want to talk to you” He seemed disturbed. it’s important,” he gulped several times as if to swallow an inconvenient lump in his throat.

“Yeah, me too” she replied worried there was something troubling him too. As he heard her reply, his face lit up instantly.

“Yeah?” he asked expectantly, “what is it?”

Praveena was now a bit confused. “Er — you tell me,” she looked serious, and Anil decided to just get it over with. He looked into her eyes, her small, bright, recently bespectacled eyes. And he suddenly looked away, shaking his head. Praveena watched him confused, ‘What’s wrong with him?’ her inner voice sounded amused.

He tried again. He looked at her in the eyes, “I’m in love with you, Praveena.”

National Blog Posting Month – Day 21

Chapter Eighteen: James

It was Monday and the three of them sat in class, anticipating their first lesson in psychology. Their teacher entered, a young man in his thirties. He wore a jean and a black tee shirt with matching shoes. He stood there, seemingly unsure how to proceed. All the students stared at back him, not only because he was handsome, but also because he appeared relaxed and informal. ‘The school teachers would never approve of this,’ Praveena thought.

Suddenly, she realized she had more freedom than she had ever had in her life. The only rules that bound her were of the college, which anyone would approve of breaking. She was no more under the protection of her school. She was now responsible for herself. One foot out of the line and people would blame her and her alone. She had no uniform to blend into or to categorize her into a group; she was an individual in every aspect. ‘I’m going to enjoy this,’ she thought gleefully.

“Hello, everyone. I’m James. I’ll be your practical psychology teacher.” He paused, “Lecturer sounds too formal doesn’t it?” There was some nervous laughter around the class. From the girls in particular, Praveena noticed. Niveda stared at the wall behind James with a glassy look. She eyes looked puffy and bloodshot. Anil raised his eyebrows at James in a disapproving look. Praveena smiled to herself.

“You jealous of him?” She whispered to Anil.

Anil turned to glare at her, annoyed.

“That girl in the last bench seems to want to introduce herself to us.” James suddenly called out and Praveena realized with dread that they were in the last bench. She turned to look at Niveda, and felt her face redden as James went on, “not the insomniac girl, she seems tired. You’re the one who seemed excited.” He spoke directly to Praveena, as she turned to face him. She stood. “I’m sorry,” she said in a quiet voice. And then she realized Anil was almost shaking with suppressed laughter.

“Don’t be,” James said briskly waving a hand. He started walking towards the end of the class; towards her. “won’t you tell us your name?” he asked tilting his head, eyebrows raised. ‘He’s got beautiful eyes’ her inner voice observed as Praveena looked into them. “Er – I’m Praveena.”

“Nice to meet you, Praveena” he pleasantly said and turned to the class. “Ok, now lets’ get to know every one else, shall we? What are you called?” he gestured towards the boy in the first row. “You can take your seat, Praveena” he added amused, without turning around.

She did and stared hard at Anil who tried to look like he hadn’t done anything. “Very observant, isn’t he?” Niveda suddenly spoke up quietly from Praveena’s right side. Praveena and Anil turned to her in surprise.

“Where were you?” Parvenu asked her incredulously.

“Yeah, I thought you were day dreaming?” Anil added.

“I was, until he called me insomniac,” she said turning back to stare at the wall. Praveena gave her an incredulous look and shook her head.

The introductions went on for another fifteen minutes. It was a huge class of seventy students and James did a great job of keeping them on track.

“Alright, now” he clapped his hands as the last person—Julia—had introduced herself, “let’s begin. I want you all to follow me into the gallery and once there, I want you all to write down something for me. You take your places, observe the room and write whatever comes to your mind — about the room though. It could be anything on the walls or the colors, the size of the objects in it, or about whatever is in the room — anything off the top of your head.” And with that, he left, the class following him chattering like a group of half-trained parrots. He led them to a larger room, painted white. It was empty except for about a hundred individual desks laden with a notebook and a sharpened pencil. As everyone filled in noisily, James spoke making his voice heard over the din. “Now, remember, you can write down anything from the depths of your mind. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a well constructed essay, it could even be abstract thoughts. It just has to come from the heart.” With that, he took the desk on the farthest corner of the class and began writing on the notepad on it. A wave of quiet whispers rang out until James called out from behind, “silence please, concentrate on your notebooks only.”

For some reason, everyone listened to him. He made even orders sound like requests, and it was not only because he used ‘please,’—he sounded sincere. Praveena was all set to write when she paused, the pencil tip hovering over the paper. What would she write about? On her right Niveda had already started and was fully concentrating on her essay. Anil too had started writing. Praveena looked around—something deep, something about the room, something about people and orders. She thought of the instructions James had just given out and how everyone followed without protest. Smiling slightly, she bend down on her paper and began writing.

An hour later, the bell rang out signaling the end of their lesson. James called out, “Pass me your notebooks everyone. Make sure you name yours first. Thanks for being great students. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

The class dispersed.

It was recess. They came out to the ground within the campus. A layer of dry grass covered the area and, here and there stood a variety of trees. ‘This is beautiful,’ Praveena thought. ‘except for the litter, and that odd stench,’ her inner voice contributed. Praveena led the other two over to a Neem tree that stood away from the crowd thronging the place. They had a thirty-minute break and decided to spend it chatting.

Niveda and Anil were engaged in a conversation, and Praveena, not wanting to get involved, looked around. Saw a group of girls ahead, poring over a mobile phone and laughing.

There was another group comprising mostly of seniors. She heard snatches of their conversation, and realized the target of their amusement was a younger boy who stood in the middle, cowering from their abuse. Another boy came to his rescue, but was also rudely laughed upon.

Praveena took this all in, wondering how different college life was from everything had seen and known all her life. Turning to the other side, she saw a couple sitting on the grass with the girl resting her head on the boy’s shoulder. They held hands.

Looking away she saw more couples and more huddled groups. She then turned to Anil and Niveda. Looking at them talking, she realized she had never before had such a deep conversation with a classmate. She now regretted it. Perhaps she should have been a bit friendlier at school.

People here were so sociable that it surprised her. Even as she watched, two boys shared a smoke. ‘Wait.’ Her inner voice shouted, ‘smoking? Within the campus?’ she watched in shock as a teacher approached the boys, apparently seniors, and reproached them. She watched, as they replied harshly, warding off the teacher.

Praveena widened her eyes; maybe people weren’t so good after all.

‘Hell yes.’

National Blog Posting Month – Day 20

Chapter Seventeen: Acquainting

After a tiring day on the streets of Bangalore, the three friends decided to take Sunday off. They had planned to use the holiday to explore the college campus. They had had already gone through the buildings on the day of their interview, but it would be a whole new experience to do it as students of the college; they had a sense of mischief that was forbidden then.

On Sunday morning as the girls got ready to meet Anil, Praveena remembered the previous morning’s fiasco. She was standing in front of the mirror, combing her hair, and Niveda stood behind her, folding her clothes.

“Hey,” Praveena exclaimed looking at Niveda through the mirror, “I forgot, what about your medicines?”

“What about them?” Niveda responded carelessly. She swayed to the song that was playing from her mobile on her bed.

Praveena liked that song too. It was a party song which would make anyone move.

“What were they for?” Praveena now turned to face Niveda. She was curious, she had seen a lot of medicines in her life. They made uneasy, unceremoniously reminding her of her mother and the disease of which she died.

Seeing the serious look on Praveena’s face, Niveda stopped her chore and turned to Praveena, avoiding her eyes.

“Look,” She said, trying to keep her voice even. “I don’t want to talk about it, don’t ask me anything”. That’s when Praveena noticed Niveda’s eyes were bloodshot and she appeared to lack energy.

“Ok…” Praveena dragged not sure how to prod further. She realized Niveda shifting into a bad mood. “Let’s go, shall we?” She changed the topic. “I’m starving.”

Niveda nodded and, leaving her clothes on the bed, she left the room while Praveena followed, locking the door behind her.

They met Anil in the canteen not far away from the girls’ hostel. There weren’t many students in the canteen, except for a few early risers grabbing a watery cup of chai or coffee. With half a cup of coffee in front of him, Anil was meddling with his phone, his eyebrows creased in annoyance over something. Or someone.

“Hey,” Niveda and Praveena chorused as they took the remaining seats on the table.

Anil looked up at them, irritated. “I’ve been waiting for nearly half an hour. Why do you girls always have to be late?” He shook his head in exasperation.

“Sorry, buddy.” Niveda laughed. “We got caught up.” she said as Praveena smiled at his reaction.

“I’ll get something to eat” Praveena offered, standing up.

Twenty minutes later, the trio left the canteen, Niveda cursing the chef for his dismal cooking abilities.

They sauntered around the campus, not talking much. Niveda’s medicine issue kept nagging Praveena at the back of her mind. She was tempted to open the matter again, but resisted the urge for fear of angering Niveda. She had looked a bit scary the previous morning and Praveena decided to keep her silence. She turned to join the conversation when she saw the other two glaring at her.

“What’s up?” she inquired innocently.

“We were talking to you, idiot!” Niveda sounded amused and angry at the same time.

“Oh,” Praveena smiled sheepishly, “sorry,” she shrugged. “What were you saying?”

“Never mind!” Anil sounded tired. “Let’s go sit somewhere.

They went over to the open ground overlooking the campus. They sat down looking out into the open without talking. Praveena enjoyed the moment; the gentle breeze, the subtle sunlight, the vast expanse of greenery, and her friends by her side; she felt content and complete. Anil broke the silence, “Tell us a bit about yourself and your family,” he asked turning to Niveda.

Niveda rubbed her hands, “Okay, my father is CEO of some stupid export company,” she recited, waving her hand “My mother’s the leader member of the Bangalore Women’s Club and I’m the rich and ignored heir, raised by servants.” she finished with a flourish that plainly said she didn’t care. For a minute though, Praveena and Anil became silent, taken aback by Niveda’s curt attitude. “Your turn!” she turned brightly to Anil.

“Oh,” Anil smiled slightly “er—my parents are separated. Mom raised me. Both Mom and Dad are lecturers. Mom’s in Delhi with Anit, my brother, and Dad’s here in Bangalore. That’s it.” he shrugged.

“Wow!” Niveda exclaimed, interested. “you’re an ignored kid too?” ‘Was that a hint of joy in Niveda’s voice?’ Praveen’s inner voice piqued from nowhere.

“Er – nope. Mom left for Delhi only after I got in here. So…” he trailed away.

“Oh,” Niveda was mildly crestfallen. There was an awkward silence.

“Hey! What about you, Praveena?” Niveda piped in, still in high spirits.

“Me,” she hesitated. ‘That’s exactly the problem,’ she thought. She couldn’t talk to them about her mother and father. She felt scared. Did she expect them to tease her? Maybe, but she wasn’t sure. She glanced at the two questioning faces. “Dad’s in the hardware business in Chennai. And my mom died.” Seeing their shocked looks at the last few words, she added “I was thirteen,” nodding a little too hard. She had tried to sound as impassive as possible; she didn’t want to appear vulnerable. She realized, with annoyance, that she was still insecure with relationships as she had been in school. She suddenly wanted to talk to Ms Marrie. ‘She’d give you the best advice,’ her inner voice approved.

The three of them sat in silence, reflecting on their lives. Praveena remembered the conversation she had had with Ms Marrie a long time ago: You are never alone with your troubles.

She smiled to herself, silently thanking Ms Marrie.

National Blog Posting Month – Day 19