Tag: depression

The Plan

After all the hype and all the changes in schedule, the weather forecast turned out to be completely wrong. Today’s Author

He re-read the schedule. Everything had to be perfect. Everyone had to obey orders. All had to go as planned.

He didn’t waver even when — without warning —  it started to snow. The others rejoiced, but he knew the plan had to go on. A lot was at stake.

“All right kids,” he called aloud. “Nothing’s stopping us.”

They looked at each other, mutely.

“Let’s do this!”

And he led the group to their deaths.

Ride of a Lifetime

ride of a lifetime

Her eyes lit up as he came to a halt. All her life, she had been dreaming of this and within two days of his first visit, he had made it a reality.

“Hop on!” He smiled. With a fleeting thought of her parents, she got on the bicycle and held on to whatever little part of his shirt she could.

As he sped on, the heavens opened up and the chilly breeze kissed her face, brushing her soreness away.

For the first time, she felt bliss.

When he dropped her off at the hospital, she knew something had changed within. She was free. As she followed the nurse inside, the seven year old was hopeful.

The Lonely Job

public

They say writing is a lonely job.

Each time I hear someone say that, I feel thrilled. Being a loner by default and a wannabe writer/novelist, it was like having my wildest passions prophesied.

That’s what I like about the writing world; being a writer would mean that you could shun human companionship, and still sound sane to most people. Of course, for some people, writers are lunatics — alone or not. But that’s irrelevant.

My point being, I was excited to constantly hear assurances that the best profession for me would be writing — something I enjoy doing anyway.

And since more and more people understand — or at least try to — the relationship between a writer and solitude, I shifted my daily schedule to include a lot of solitary bliss.

Only it wasn’t all bliss.

I loved being alone. I had a lot of time with my own head, talking to myself, reflecting, wondering, hatching ideas, cooking for myself, and even trying my hand at photography.

But the writing wasn’t coming out as much as I would have hoped. Oh, I was writing all right. I was writing every day — but it was a struggle, I had to wrack my brains for inspiration each day — which became tougher by the day.

Then one day, we planned a movie night. I got to our rendezvous point and suddenly realized that it had been months since I had been outdoors at that time, and among so many people. It wasn’t late; the sun had just set and the winter sky had darkened earlier than usual.

That’s where I saw — people. Oh, and lots of them too. It was the local bus stop and with people thronging around — it was so surprising. Sure, I see people when I walk home after work, but that’s a limited view of mostly quiet residential areas. I would actually see as many street dogs as people.

Seriously.

But that night, I could see what I had been missing all along. Just by observing people’s faces, I could see thousands of stories, waiting to be penned. They all had lives and incidents happening — how inspiring would it be to observe people’s behaviour in a public place, and weave a fictitious tale out of it?

It was an eye-opener. Though I’m not a fan of crowded spaces and heaving faces, I’ve realised that people are my highest motivators. I glean my creativity from the varying expressions of everyday life.

And I need more of that.

Where do you guys draw inspiration?

I’ll be there for you – Tanka

It was a worn cliff.
From the edge, he looked down — wondering.
What’s the point of waiting?
Who would miss him if he left?
“Woof,” came a definite answer from behind.

woof 1

I didn’t want to miss this week’s writing challenge, so I clubbed it with my customary Flash Fiction. I stuck to the pattern, words in the sequence, 5-7-5-7-7

Why I Ditched Earphones

I’m a musicaholic. I’m probably exaggerating, but you get the idea; I love listening to music. But then again, who doesn’t, right?

But, I ditch my ear phones — when I walk home.

I’m always plugged in at work — makes it easier to ignore a lot of people; all I have to do is stare at the screen like I’m too involved to talk or hear others talking. Drowns out a lot of disturbances too.

ear phones

Anyway, I don’t plug in when I’m walking home. No, it’s not like a walk in the park, it’s not peaceful, not quiet and it surely isn’t enjoyable. And no, I don’t have company.

Walking in Chennai streets (during peak hours, with the vehicles racing by honking and blaring their headlight into your eyes) is like walking towards death. Not only in terms of accidents, but there’s the risk of hyper tension — which leads to a more painful death.

When I first started using the iPod, I was so excited to walk with my favourite music ringing in my ears. It was funny, to look at people’s faces as they rush to and from buildings with painful expressions. It was a kind of entertaining to watch them all in mute. Sounds a little evil? Well, the music was only self defence — it greatly improved my mood.

But soon enough, things changed. I saw a lot of girls, all plugged in and walking rigidly. They didn’t seem to be enjoying the music, their faces were filled every emotions but joy. It was odd. Perhaps they were afraid to smile when their favourite song played, scared because poeple would judge — that happens quite often, people are always looking for reasons to make others feel like shit.

And then it happened to me too. I don’t care about what others think of me, it happens to me all the time that I’m used to it now.

It bothered me more that I was getting distracted. I was always plugged in; at work, at the gym, and while walking home, soon after. The result: I had stopped actually listening to the music.

I never wanted that.

My mind was filled with other thoughts — general feelings, conversation replays, dinner, family, work, people, more people and people I hate being around.

Practically everything but the music that played in my ears. That hardly happened before, I used to be able to sit at length without thinking of anything. But the music broke that.

It was freedom — like never before. My earphones drowned the rest of the world, and suddenly reality was gone. I didn’t need to make conscious effort to ignore the world, it was easier to get into my own thoughts.

It mightn’t sound so bad, but it made no sense. I plugged in for the pleasure of music, and suddenly I couldn’t enjoy it. What’s the point?

So I decided to ditch the earphones. Now I can enjoy the music for what it is, and still drift away from reality whenever I want to — without using music as a distraction.

Makes sense?