Tag: family

Chapter Forty Nine: A Father’s Confessions

Kamal parked in front of the small brick house. “Are you sure this is the place?” he asked Praveena who sat in the front seat next to him, examining a piece of paper. “Yes, Pa” she said looking at the half open gate. “This is it.”

They got down from the car and, despite the open gate, Kamal rang the doorbell. A thin woman clad in a sari with her hair held back in an unravelling bun, appeared at the gate. “Who is it?” she asked Kamal irritably. Praveena stepped forward. “Are you Mrs Henry, Helen’s mother?” she asked.

“Yes,” the woman answered, a little uncertain. “But who are you?” she sounded confused, and Praveena knew Helen’s name was the reason.

“I’m Praveena, Helen’s art teacher at school. And this is my father,” she announced. “Can we speak to you, if you don’t mind?” she asked politely.

“Oh, sure.” the woman replied courteously and opened the gate widely to allow them inside. “Please come in, Helen’s told me a lot about you.” her smile had become warmer.

Praveena and Kamal followed the lady inside the house. “Please sit,” Mrs Henry offered, clearing away the toys from the chairs. “Sorry about that,” she said breathlessly “They are my son’s.”

“Never mind,” Praveena waved her hand away.

“Shall I get you something to drink? Coffee – ”

“Nothing, please.” Praveena said shaking her head, “won’t you sit down? We need to talk to you, and your husband.” She looked around for the man of the house.

“He’s not home at the moment,” Mrs Henry said, “Is it about Helen? Has she done – ?” Praveena cut her off with a shake of her head. “This isn’t about Helen,” she said sighing. “It’s about your husband.”

Mrs Henry glared at Praveena as if she were mad. Praveena explained, in detail, what Helen had told her in school that day.

As she finished, she noticed Mrs Henry’s eyes soften. “He doesn’t do it on purpose,” she said dutifully defending her husband. “He can’t help it. He has tried to drop the habit, but he can’t.” she shook her head in worry. “Helen doesn’t understand how much it pains him. Once he gets drunk, he forgets his family.” Praveena let her finish, she saw traces of tears in Mrs Henry’s eyes.

“Well, in that case,” Praveena sighed. “Why don’t you get help? Talk to a therapist and get your husband involved in rehab or an alcoholics organization. There are people who support those who want to give up addiction.” As Praveena spoke, her father watched in silence, unable to believe what he saw.

Praveena continued and Mrs Henry listened intently, “Encourage him to follow the therapist’s medications. Keep telling him he can do it, and one day, he will. Trust me.” she nodded.

Mrs Henry responded with a grateful look. “Thank you so, much. I’ll talk to him.”

Praveena nodded smiling. “Tell him to give it a try. For his kids, at least.”

Praveena yawned as they walked into the house. She wanted to fall back on the couch and sleep, but there was dinner to take care of. “Let’s have toast,” her father said reading her.

After dinner, both of them slumped on the couch. Praveena waited for her father to switch on the TV, but he didn’t. When she was about to do it, he stopped her.

“Can I talk to you, Praveena?” he asked quietly.

“Sure, Pa.” she said turning to him. She had a feeling he was about to tell her to quit her job. She wasn’t in the mood to argue, but she knew she would.

“I’m proud of you, Praveena.” he said unexpectedly.

“Huh?” Praveena wasn’t sure she had heard correctly.

Kamal smiled apologetically. “I never realized,” he sighed “how much you’ve grown,” Praveena listened, not sure where this conversation was headed. “I’m sorry, Praveena.”

“No, Pa,” she shook her head. “Don’t be sorry, you haven’t done anything wrong!” she defended.

“No, Praveena.” he held her hand in both of his. “I shouldn’t have stopped you from doing what’s right. I’m really sorry,” he pleaded with tears peeping through his eyelids. He blinked them away. Praveena couldn’t make sense of it at all. What had gotten into her father?

“Listen Praveena,” he continued. “when you told me that you wanted to help drug addicts, I wasn’t sure if you were mature enough for that kind of thing. But today,” he shook his head, unable to speak for a while. “you handled it so well,” he gulped.

“Go ahead, Praveena,” he continued. “Don’t let me stop you. Do whatever feels right to you.” he had tears in his eyes as he finished saying what he had wanted to tell her. “I’ll be wth you always,” he added smiling encouragingly.

A sense of relief spread through Praveena’s veins. She had always wanted her father to believe in her. He now did. Time does work its magic.

Life for Praveena went along just fine. She postponed her plans for her self-help group. She liked what she did and wanted to spend more time teaching. Two years she worked alongside Ms Marrie and changing a lot of lives. Helen’s father recovered, and now every time she saw Helen, Praveena couldn’t help but feel proud of herself.

During the third year of her teaching life, Ms Marrie announced her retirement. She hadn’t thought of marriage, but had decided to live alone and conduct private classes to students who wished to learn from her. And there were a good number of students who were willing. A phenomenon that didn’t surprise Praveena at all.

Later that year, Praveena’s father passed away from cardiac arrest. The loss left Praveena shaken, and the customary pity from the relatives who had hated him did nothing more than to annoy her. Anil didn’t make it to the funeral but he had called to console Praveena as best as he could. Speaking with Anil made her feel much better. She held on to the comfort as she walked the treacherous path that followed Kamal’s death.

Chapter Forty Eight: Duties

Praveena cherished her experience teaching in her own school. On her second day, she decorated her room. She covered the table in a white spread and placed a photo of Niveda, Anil, and herself. That picture was a reminder of the evil of drugs and its effect on wonderful relationships. She had also brought the painting she had done in college, the one with three stallions basking undisturbed in a valley. She stuck the painting on the wall behind the table so that it was the first thing any one would see when they entered the room. The rest of the wall, she left bare, unsure what to add. She had planned to collect paintings and writings from her students and display them as an exhibition one day.

Kareem had asked her to fill in as a temporary art teacher. The current teacher had left on a maternity leave. And so, Praveena met with her first class, the third year students. After a warm welcome, she asked them all to paint whatever came to their mind. At the end of the forty five minutes class, only a handful of students had finished their drawings.

“Alright, everyone.” she called as the bell signalled end of class. “leave your drawings on my desk, you can continue tomorrow.” she clapped her hands to get their attention. One by one, she saw the students examining their drawings critically as they came up to submit it. Praveena gathered all the paintings and was about to lock them away when she saw a girl, too small for her age, still poring over her drawing at the back of the class. Praveena went to her and stood over her, watching. The little girl looked up, her eyes wide in fear, at Praveena.

Praveena smiled at her, “That’s a beautiful house,” she complimented, “shall we continue tomorrow?” she held out a hand, and the girl handed over her incomplete drawing. “Thank you,” Praveena smiled. She went over to the cupboard and locked the paintings away. She then turned to the students who were all on their feet. “See you tomorrow, girls” She waved a hand at them. As she turned to leave, she noticed Mr Andrew on the doorway.

Praveena swallowed. She hadn’t expected him to be here. Mr Andrew’s face reflected her shock. “Praveena?” he asked incredulously. “you are the new art teacher?” he shook his head in disbelief.

Praveena forced a smile. “Yes, Sir” she said. “How are you?” she inquired more out of courtesy than of concern.

“Fine,” he said in a flourish. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a class to teach.” He walked past Praveena into the class room and Praveena left as soon as she could.

She was having lunch in her room when there was a curt knock on her door. She opened the door to Ms Marrie. “Hey, Praveena!” she beamed. “How’s work?”

Praveena smiled and gestured Ms Marrie into the room. Ms Marrie took the new chair Praveena had requested. “So, how is work?” Ms Marrie repeated.

“Ah, it’s great Miss!” Praveena gleefully replied taking her seat, facing Ms Marrie. “I love it,” she said, “but, I didn’t expect to run into Mr Andrew.” she sighed.

“Ah, yes” Ms Marrie smiled apologetically, “that, I forgot to tell you.” she smiled innocently. Praveena smiled, shaking her head. “he hasn’t changed much, has he?” she observed.

“Somethings never change,” Ms Marrie nodded.

“Are any of the old teachers still here?” Praveena asked tentatively, making Ms Marrie laugh.

“Selima left about a year after you finished,” smiling at the look of relief on Praveena’s face. “and the others too have left. It’s only Andrew and me now.” She finished laughing.

Anil called Praveena on Saturday morning.

“Hey, Praveena” he spoke softly. “how are you?”

Taken unexpected by his call, she replied delightedly. “I’m great! Sounds like MBA has softened you a bit,” she laughed teasingly.

“Maybe,” he laughed too. He had called to check on her and her experience teaching. They chatted away happily for about thirty minutes.

When she disconnected the call, Praveena felt her happiness double. She smiled to herself.

As months flew by, Praveena gained a lot of friends in the form of students. She was the teacher who respected them and agreed with them when they complained about the overload of homework.

Praveena felt like a child herself when she was with her students.

One day, during lunch, the little girl from the third grade came over to her room.

“Hello, Helen” Praveena greeted her, escorting the girl into her room and helping her sit. Praveena noticed Helen’s huge, black, bloodshot eyes. “What can I do for you, Helen?” she asked gently kneeling down in front of the girl.

All of a sudden, the girl began weeping and shaking uncontrollably. Praveena hadn’t expected this. Trying not to panic, she made an effort to console the girl. She hugged her, stroking her head reassuringly.

“Helen,” she spoke softly. “What happened?” She looked at the girl who stared back at her, eyes streaming. “It’s — my father,” she stammered, difficult to speak.

“What happened to him?” Praveena asked patiently.

Helen shook her small head vigorously. “Helen…” Praveena urged quietly.

The girl sniffed away tears, trying to speak. “Dad,” she began “drinks every day and beats Mom asking for money. He hit me today,” Praveena watched helplessly as the girl’s eyes swelled with tears.

That evening, Praveena went home determined to help the girl. She wanted to talk to the girl’s father and explain the impact of his behaviour on his child.

“Pa,” Praveena spoke to her father as he came home that night. “Hmm?” he looked at her. His expression grew worried as he saw Praveena’s disturbed face.

Praveena told him of the day’s events. Kamal listened with a rising sense of dread. He didn’t like where this was going. “I’m going to talk to the father,” Praveena said with an air of finality, “and I want you to come with me,” she added and paused for his reply. She was ready to argue with him if he disagreed.

To her utter surprise, “I’ll be ready in ten minutes,” he said and left for his room.

Praveena stood in the living room, dazed.

Chapter Forty Seven: Change is Good

Ms Marrie escorted Praveena through a path she knew so well, but it all seemed new somehow. She guessed Mr Kareem had been doing well as new principal. Ms Marrie stopped in front of a door that had a tiny metal plate with the words,

Kareem,
Principal.

Praveena turned to Ms Marrie in astonishment. She remembered Principal Vanitha’s name plate, which listed her degrees. Smiling to herself, Praveena rejoiced the school was in responsible hands.

“He’s expecting you. Go ahead.” Ms Marrie smiled reassuringly gesturing Praveena to go inside. Praveena knocked once and a gruff voice told her to enter. She did. “Good morning Sir,” she smiled walking up to his table.

A well-built middle aged man, Kareem had dark and overgrown flyaway hair. He wore a black short-sleeved shirt, and Praveena noticed a pair of spectacles lying untouched on his desk. He had his locked palms resting against his chin examining a piece of paper as Praveena entered.

“Please,” he smiled courteously at Praveena “call me Kareem.”

Praveena’s mouth fell open. She quickly closed it, but not before he had seen it. He laughed, a soft and musical laugh.

“So,” Kareem said once he had stopped laughing. “Ms Kamal. Why don’t you take a seat?” he gestured at the chair facing him. She did, thoroughly nonplussed at the principal’s behaviour.

“Now, Ms Kamal –” he began, but stopped short, “mind if I call you Praveena? It’s a bit easier,” he smiled. Praveena noticed the way his eyes crinkled every time he smiled.

“Please,” she replied easily. For the first time, she felt comfortable in this room.

“Thanks,” he smiled. “Praveena,” he said in a more serious tone, “you are an old student,” she nodded, “so you would know this place quite well. I’ve made changes to this school, and hope you like them.”

“What if I don’t?” Praveena asked playfully. She regretted it the very next second. She wasn’t sure what had come over her. But Kareem didn’t look angry, he didn’t even look irritated. Instead, he smiled slightly. Praveena hadn’t expected that.

“Well, if you don’t like it,” he smiled “you don’t have to.” He continued, laughing at Praveen’s shocked expression.

Praveena took some time to recover. “I’m sorry,” she said her eyes cast down.

“Don’t be!” Kareem exclaimed joyfully. “I like your enthusiasm.” Praveena looked at him smiling slightly. He returned the gesture.

“Well,” he grew serious again, “we need an extra teacher, and I’m personally glad we could get an old student for the position. We’ll discuss your salary later, but first, I think your students are waiting to meet their new class teacher.” he raised his eyebrows. “Marrie will show you your class. Good luck, Praveena!” he stood up and smiled.

Praveena stood up as well. “Thank you, Sir –” Kareem glared at her, and she quickly corrected herself, “Kareem,” she nodded with a smile and left the room, satisfied with herself.

They didn’t say anything to each other but Praveena’s look conveyed everything Ms Marrie had wanted to know. Praveena’s joy was obvious.

Ms Marrie led Praveena through familiar corridors. She went past her own room and stopped in front of the next one.

“Ta-da!” she exclaimed gleefully, gesturing at the closed door. “Welcome to your room,” she smiled.

Praveena hadn’t expected her own room. Ms Marrie opened the room and Praveena walked inside. There was an empty desk with a chair in the centre of the room. Apart from that, the room was void of furniture or decoration. The walls were bare except for the gleaming white paint.

“You can decorate it any way you want.” Ms Marrie announced. Praveena wheeled to face Ms Marrie who leant on the doorway looking bemused at her astonishment. “Kareem’s rule” she added.

“Come on,” Ms Marrie gestured. Praveena walked out of the room, and Ms Marrie handed her the key. Praveena didn’t know what to make of all the strange, but wonderful things Kareem had done to her school.

Ms Marrie next stopped in front of a class Praveena recognized as her classroom during the final year in school. They were the senior-most students, and it was another surprise to see all the students conversing in low tones. Praveena looked at Ms Marrie, suddenly nervous. “Go ahead.” Ms Marrie smiled reassuringly with a gentle pat on her shoulder.

Praveena took a deep sigh, and thinking of James’ first class in college, walked inside the room.

As soon as she entered, a hush fell through the room. She placed her file on the table and faced the students. There were about fifty of them, and Praveena saw eager eyes staring into hers. On the walls hung random paintings and crafts. A particular origami peacock that sat in a corner table caught Praveena’s eye.

Suddenly, she felt comfortable in the room. They were students, they were here to learn something, ‘not unlike yourself,’ her inner voice finished her thought.

“Hello everyone,” she began simply. “I’m Praveena, an old student, now your class teacher.” she smiled. All of them stood up in unison, and said greeted her in one voice, “Welcome back, Ms Praveena.”

Praveena was taken aback. The students, just like their principal, had a way of making new people feel comfortable and welcome.

The first day was smooth. The students were easy to talk to, they were a curious lot and Praveena told them about herself and learned their names.

Suddenly a girl stood up and asked, “What subject do you teach, Miss?”

“I’m a substitute. And…” she stalled. “It’s my first day. Must we talk about work?” she asked smiling. So did the girl, whose name was Grace.

For the first time in her life, Praveena looked forward to school the next day.

Chapter Forty Six: Another Home

Praveena wanted to tell Anil everything that had happened since she last saw him. She called him the next afternoon during his lunch break.

“Hey, how are you?” he exclaimed delighted.

“Brilliant!” Praveena laughed as excited as he.

“Good!” Anil replied. Praveena sensed amusement in his voice and understood why. He had never heard her so thrilled.

She told him about her decision to teach. “Like James, you know,” she said. “and Ms Marrie,” she went on without realizing he had said nothing more than a tiny sound of acknowledgment. “hmm-hmm!” he egged her on, and that was more than enough for Praveena.

He listened without interrupting. Praveena couldn’t possibly know the wide smile that played across Anil’s lips throughout her narrative; he liked to listen to her voice. She had thought of him, and he was happy she wanted to share her life happenings with him. He felt important, and he told her that.

“Great to know you still think of me, Praveena.” he said as she had finished her story.

“Of course I think of you, you idiot!” she said carelessly. “you’re my best friend!”

“Yeah…” replied Anil, trying to disguise the disappointment in his voice. Praveena, however, noticed the difference.

“Hey!” she said subdued. “You don’t sound so good. Any problems?” she asked growing concerned. He had been listening intently but his lack of words had just struck her.

“No, no,” he waved it off. “Nothing.” He changed the topic. “So,” he said “when do you officially become a teacher?” he asked with a tinge of laughter in his voice.

“No idea,” she replied. “Next Monday, probably” she said. It was only Wednesday. She had four more days.

“Oh, good.” Anil replied. “Teacher!” he added mockingly.

“Hey!” Praveena exclaimed indignantly.

“Alright, alright.” Anil laughed. “No swearing.”

Anil’s laughter was contagious. And they laughed together for no reason.

Anil recovered first. “So what happens to those drug addicts?” he asked. He made it sound funny but he was serious in every way. And so was Praveena when she replied, “They’ll have to wait.” She smiled sadly into her mobile, “First, I’m going to prevent their children from falling into drugs.”

“You’re the best.” Anil said appreciatively.

“I know,” Praveena winked.

Praveena told Kamal about her conversation with Ms Marrie and added that she would join on Monday. He listened intently, and when she finished, “Good,” he sounded satisfied. “All the best.”

Praveena was surprised. “Thanks, Pa!” she said taken aback, yet happy.

Praveena later informed Ms Marrie of her joining date. Ms Marrie was visibly thrilled. “I’m so glad you decided to do this, Praveena,” she encouraged. “This will do you good. Trust me.” Praveena smiled. “Thank you, Miss.” Even if she couldn’t fully discern Ms Marrie’s meaning, she knew it would be good.

Monday morning, Praveena woke up early. She wore a white cheddar — the South Indian traditional. When she came down for breakfast, she was overcome by a sense of nostalgia. She thought back to her school days when she walked down the same staircase. She imagined her mother reading on the couch, and her father swinging his arms, as he came in from his morning walk. Smiling to herself, Praveena went over to the dining table, where her father had set up breakfast.

“Hey you!” he exclaimed in surprise. He hadn’t seen his daughter in a chudidhar for a long time. She had always preferred jeans. “You look beautiful,” he complimented.

‘Thanks, Pa.” Praveena smiled widely. It felt good to make her father smile.

After a hearty breakfast of idlis and chutney, Praveena bade her father goodbye.

“Shall I drop you?” he asked.

Praveena shook her head smiling. “It’s ok, Pa.”

Praveena entered her old school, and saw the buildings and trees in their same places. But everything had changed. The blue buildings in her time had all gone white. It was the first thing Praveena noticed and it made her smile. She had always hated principal Vanitha’s awful colour choices. It seemed like the new principal had a liking for white.

The trees weren’t pruned as they were in Principal Vanitha’s period. They grew as they wished and Praveena was delighted to see a lot of green and yellow leaves strewn all over the pathway leading to the Principal’s office. ‘This is going to be good!’ her delighted inner voice said, and Praveena readily agreed.

She had already told Ms Marrie and sure enough, Ms Marrie waited for her in front of the same Principal’s office, with a wide smile.

Praveena approached her, positive she had made a good decision. “How does our school look?” Ms Marrie asked earnestly. Praveena smiled. She felt content like never before. “Lovely.” she smiled. She had once hated the school, but it now felt like home. As if she had had looked all over for a home and had finally found it, right here in her old school.

Ms Marrie smiled in delight.

Alone on Holidays

holidays

I might be late to talk about being alone for the holidays, but I just felt it.

I’m not one who needs someone by her side to feel wanted, or important, or significant.

I’m fine with watching The Abominable Bride alone on a Friday night. I’m happy with watching Friends with my Sunday brunch. And it never mattered to me that the Friday was Christmas, or the Sunday was Valentines Day. Because for me, they are just holidays.

But as I saw my friends, colleagues, and almost everyone else I know go home for the holidays, or ride to the city of alcohol to celebrate New Year’s Eve, I felt strange.

Strange — not lonely. I will never accept I’m lonely when I’m alone. I know the difference between the two and revere personal space. I wasn’t lonely, but I felt so “ungrown-up.”

Everyone I knew wanted to spend time with their spouses, children, and parents. When did everyone around me grow up so fast?

Now that I think of it, almost all of my acquaintances and friends are couples. They are either already married with kids on the way, or are just about to get married.

As for the single ones I know, they are too generous to barmaids to grow up.

Wondering about the strangeness of it all, I realized the people who went home to their spouses and kids at 6pm are the same ones who once accompanied me when I pulled an all-nighter. They were the first to volunteer to stay back and clean up after a party, they were the ones who’d take up customer calls from a different time zone and conduct midnight webinars. And now, by 6 pm, they’re gone from the office.

But I’m still here. And I still feel strange. But that doesn’t stop me from munching on some fried snack, drinking a cup of coffee, and laughing at Friends while nodding my approval at “Joey doesn’t share food.”