Tag: inspiration

How badass are you?

When I asked myself that question, I had no answer. Sure, I’d shown cheek a lot of times, but nothing came close to being badass.

I define badass as being unapologetic in who you are. Unwitting, to an extent, but also uncaring of what others think of you and perceive your actions. Being badass is speaking your mind, showing emotions when emotional, and voicing every bit of doubt without worrying about offending or hurting anyone. And—most important—doing all that without coming off as arrogant.

In other words, kids are badass.

We all love kids. It’s not because they’re tiny and make us wish we were young again. It’s because of who they are. They don’t care about anything or anyone. They don’t worry about the consequences of being their own selves. Whether they’re hungry, angry, or sad, they show their emotions right away. They push, they pull, and they even make us pull our own hair apart, but at the end of they day we still love them. The reason? They don’t pretend to be someone they’re not. They show their true colours, in all its good, bad, and unbearable shades. And that’s what makes them so likeable. They are true influencers in a way. They get what they want without being rude, arrogant, and asshole-like.

Sure, kids are adamant at times, and almost scary when on tantrums. But they learn soon enough that frown-face doesn’t work as a smile does.

We learn that as kids. But forget as adults.

We grown ups are too conscious of our selves to be bold enough to speak our thoughts. We don’t want to look like a vulnerable school child. And that’s why we lose so much.

We’ve become so invested in preserving our image—the image we set for ourselves, the brand we try so hard to up hold. As a result, we’ve lost our lighter side. We see people in full suits, clean hair dos, and prim postures who wouldn’t dare put a toe out of line because it would wreck their reputation.

Afraid of losing face, of looking like a failure, we become rigid instead. We stick to what we know, ingrained in inertia, and force others to do as we say. While kids smile and declare their minds, we smirk and demand action. Like the boss.

But we don’t have to be that way. We can still still be ourselves without being childish. By being casual and light hearted, we become more approachable individuals. By flaunting our humanness, we become easy to talk to. And influential. We can be badass without being forceful.

Voices

“Gosh, look at the height of that thing. Looks like the twelve years of practice was for nothing. You’ll never make it.”

“I don’t think I’ll mess up.”

“Are you crazy? You’ll embarrass the whole country if you break down at the last minute. Oh, imagine the horror. Tell them you’re feeling sick. They can’t blame you—the fish was horrible last night.”

When her name rang through the loud speaker, Vanessa approached the pool with jelly legs. Before she knew it, she was poised for her Olympics qualifier.

At the whistle, she dove.

Astonished, her inner voice never surfaced.

On influence

Who we are depends on who we observe.

Most parents caution each other and their peers about how they should behave in front of children. They set stringent rules for themselves so they can prevent their children from adopting unhealthy practices.

Regardless of our safety measures to protect children, we often forget that, not unlike a toddler, we grown ups become influenced as well. 

We may not accept or even realise it most of the time, but we look at another person—a neighbour, a television artist, a writer—and be more like them.

That’s good in a way. When we look up to someone with purpose, knowing it will improve our life, becoming influenced in the best thing. Such influence can even spread peace and joy across the world. One person’s determination to help out during natural disasters and wars can turn into global philanthropic activities.

But when we don’t realise what we do and adopt certain behaviour for no apparent reason, influence turns bad. We lost sight of our common sense, following someone just because they are attractive.

That’s the root of most political and religious rebellions nowadays. We trust and advocate people, policies, and philosophies even though we don’t understand. We’re influenced by some famous artist campaigning for a cause they found. And since we like them as an artist, we tend to co-campaign without even evaluating it first.

In a society that turns a blind eye to these un-checked influences, no one questions a popular opinion or refutes an unclear decision. As a society, we become unruly and devoid of self-control. We neither think or reason, but serve as tools for others.

Cult groups of today thrive on such behaviour. A single spark influences so many people to rile up, evoking negative emotions in the name of goodness.

Our world isn’t a nice place. We have as many evils as we have goodness. It’s important that we prioritise our lives, understand what matters most to us, and learn to stand up for it. When we’re mindful, we strengthen our convictions. We’ll then know what kind of influence we want to attract.

That’s the sign of true maturity. We grow wiser and understand our purpose—and that our purpose changes with situation, age, interests, and responsibilities. That’s how we can choose who influence us. Without that clarity, we’d let anything and anyone manipulate us for their benefit.

Can I?

“I can” is an emotion.

It’s powerful.

It’s aspirational.

We may write down our goals, set up reminders, even team up with accountability partners, and still fail. The reason is that all those are material factors. What we need instead, is determination from within—the mind.

We humans possess an incredible tendency to believe in things. Take placebo, for instance. We believe it’s a cure and it becomes a cure. It doesn’t matter that it’s a regular sugar pills. For our placebo-ed self, it’s a miracle worker.

Most people who think they want to change their lifestyle, live healthy, or make a positive change at work fail because their belief isn’t strong enough. Whole-hearted belief isn’t as strong without whole-minded belief.

It’s not just about writing it down or telling people. We often think saying it out loud stimulates our ego and motivates us to persevere. I don’t think that works.

For me, not telling anyone works. Telling myself, my mind, what I want to become, how I want to live, and what I want to achieve in the process keeps me motivated. I reflect on my life and decide for myself. I make a change in an instant, and see it through. That determination comes only when the influence comes from within.

Instead, when we look up to other people for constant motivate, influence, and validate us, whatever riles up in us, will shrivel down as fast as it rises.

Inspiration is good. It’s necessary even. However, we can’t just run on inspiration from others. What makes them run is their own determination, and it’s from that determination that they inspire. Just inhaling what they exude gets us no where unless we have our own grit to hold us to our goals.

A lesson from nature

When we look around us, we see nature at her most pristine. The scurrying squirrels, wandering birds, swaying leaves, and sparkling mirages are all reminders how nature treats life as we know it. Everything around us is a part of a bigger picture that nature paints for us. From the playful kittens and mischievous puppies, to the untamed wilderness, there’s always something worth smiling at and palpable happiness in the air.

It’s only natural then that the joy affects us as well. As inhabitants of this earth it’s close to impossible not to let nature influence or impact on us.

Nevertheless, despite the bubbling energy in our environment, we refrain from enjoying it.

Kids don’t care what others think of them. Kids be themselves, splashing around in the mud, making a racket, spilling coffee on their clothes, and laughing at it all without a care in the world.

Would we grown ups dare do the same?

We wouldn’t. We’re too self-conscious to let ourselves go. We’re too worried about what others would say or think of us. As we ponder about living in the moment, we fail to recognise our lives are fleeting before our eyes. We think we don’t deserve to play, because we’re adults with adult responsibilities.

We, instead, reserve playtime as for kids. Play is for everyone. It’s what makes us human, spreads liveliness in us and makes us relatable. When we face life with a smile on our lips, with a positive attitude and confidence to overcome barriers, when we’re unwavering in challenges and ever hopeful, we fall in line with the earth herself: content and tolerant.

The best thing about enjoying, indulging, ourselves is that we don’t have to try too hard. We just have listen to and heed our inner mind. And sit by a stream observing the gushing water. There’s so much calm and joy radiating from nature that it seeps through us as well. Nature reminds us to live every moment, and does that by example.