Praveena stared at him, as his smile faded away. “That wasn’t what you were about to say, was it?” he asked, looking upset and, at the same time, concerned about her look of exasperation.

She shook her head.

“Is there a problem?” he asked now more serious. She nodded. “what is it?”

“It’s Niveda,” and Praveena told him all that had happened earlier. “I think there’s some problem she’s not telling us.” Praveena finished, worried.

Anil looked thoughtful. “I think you’re right,” he said slowly, “she’s even stopped doing her assignments,” he rubbed his anchor beard. “You think we should talk to her?”

Praveena nodded, “we should.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” he asked standing up. Praveena stood up as well, and together, they walked towards the hostel. Once outside, Praveena called Niveda saying something urgent had come up.

About five minutes later, the three of them sat on the grass in silence.
“What is it, you two?” Niveda was irritated. They had disturbed her work, and she didn’t like it.

Praveena took a deep breath, “Is there a problem, Niveda?”

“Yes,” Niveda cried defiant, “you two disturbed me.”

“Who was the woman who came to meet you?” Anil took her off guard.

Niveda stood up fast. “I’m not talking about this.” there was an unmistakable finality in her voice that Praveena was used to. Anil caught her by the arm, “Oh yes, you are” he said gently looking into her eyes. Praveena was surprised, he wasn’t annoyed or irritated. He was so genuine. “Sit,” he said. And she did.

“Please tell us, what’s bothering you?” Praveena pleaded. She was so close to Niveda that she couldn’t stand to see her in pain.

“Nothing,” Niveda responded growing more defensive.

“Look,” Praveena tried coaxing her, “I’ve seen you tossing and turning at night. You’re not sleeping, you’re not eating, and you’re telling us there’s nothing? Have you seen yourself in the mirror?”

Niveda remained impassive.

“Are you doing drugs?” Anil asked all of a sudden.
“What? Anil! What are you saying?” Praveena exclaimed shocked. She couldn’t believe her ears. Anil held up a hand silencing her, and turned to Niveda who looked in the verge of tears. He looked right into her eyes, and she broke.

Niveda began weeping incessantly. She rested her head on Praveena’s shoulder and cried more. Anil held her hand reassuringly. “That’s it, is it?”

Niveda nodded.

“How long?” Praveena’s voice was strained.

“Three years.”

There was a shocked silence. Anil’s face was sympathetic. Praveena was wondering how Niveda had adapted the habit. She still couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed her best friend had been doing drugs all the while. She thought of the many incidents she had caught Niveda sneaking away to the balcony or neglecting her work, or staying awake all night. She couldn’t believe that despite the countless indications, she hadn’t identified it sooner. She blamed herself for failing to recognize Niveda’s symptoms, and felt guilty as if she had somehow encouraged Niveda.

“We have to do something about this, maybe rehab —” Anil began, but Niveda interrupted. “No, forget it. Just leave it, I’ll be fine.” she wiped the tears from her face in a hurry as if to show it wasn’t a problem.

“You won’t be,” Praveena spoke up gently. “We have to do something to get away from those stuff.”

Niveda looked alarmed now. She didn’t want anybody else to know about this; they’d hate her, they’d throw her out of college. Her whole life would be destroyed. “I’ll take care, it’s easy really — to dump those stuff.” Even as she said it, she knew she couldn’t do without those, even for day.

“Who’re you kidding? It’s not easy, and you know it.”

Both Niveda and Praveena turned to stare at Anil. He cast his eyes towards his feet, not meeting their glances.

“How would you know?” Niveda asked incredulously.

“Because—I’ve been there, and done it.” His voice was flat.

“What?” This time it was Praveena. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Anil looked at Praveena apologetically, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. Two years ago, I was addicted to drugs. I had a teacher who helped me recover.” he turned to Niveda, who looked like someone had slapped her on the face, “And it’s not easy. You should want to give up, and that’s never easy.”

“We should try it.” Praveena said with an air of finality.

Niveda remained quiet. She knew they were right. Catching the other two glaring at her, she nodded.

It was past midnight and as Praveena lay awake on her pillow, she realized Niveda wasn’t on her bed. She had thought Niveda was already asleep. Reaching out, she switched on the lamp between their beds. In the dim light, she could make out Niveda, sitting on the study table overlooking the window. She was staring at the moon.

Praveena went up to her, and touched her shoulder gently. “Hey, aren’t you sleepy?” Niveda turned to face her. She had been crying. “I’m a freak.” moaned in pain.

“What? — no! No, you’re not.” Praveena didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t tell Niveda how much she mattered to her. Niveda, however, continued to cry, her breath coming out in gasps.

“Hey, don’t worry. Everything’ll be ok. We’ll talk to your parents, we’ll help you get out of this. We’ll do this together,” she said earnestly. It was sad see her friend shattered.

“My parents?” Niveda laughed, a dry hallow laugh. “they don’t care about me at all. You know, it was because of them that I got into drugs. They never spoke to me, they even forgot they had a daughter. I was so lonely and miserable. I never laughed, I was depressed. It was my classmate who got me into this stuff. He said it’ll help me forget my troubles. He’s the only one I spoke to about my problems at home. I trusted him, and he —” she broke off crying hysterically, “he destroyed my life!” she wept. “Now look at me! I’m a freak!” she ended with a shout, a short whining shout like an injured dog.

Praveena didn’t know what to say.

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National Blog Posting Month – Day 23

Three years of psychology, and Praveena had two of them left. Over the past year, she had grown increasingly close to Niveda and Anil. They became her best friends. For the first time, she had been friends with someone for such a long period. She felt much happier and comfortable with them than with anyone else.

One bright Saturday afternoon, as she sat alone in the open ground in front of the hostel, she reflected on how her life had changed since her mother’s death. She hadn’t cried at all. She had mourned her mother, but she hadn’t, or couldn’t give in to tears. She wondered why that had happened. It was the saddest she had ever felt in her life, but she had had overcome it unlike anybody else. She smiled to herself. These thoughts were bringing back old memories—memories she’d rather keep buried deep within her.

She thought of Niveda and Anil, and wondered what she would have done without the pair of them. They had helped her recover and overcome the problems within her, without even trying. Their presence by her side, was enough of a moral support to her. How much they had grown together. They knew each other so well and everyone in college had heard of their friendship. She let the happy feeling flow inside her, when suddenly a woman walked up to her looking lost.

She was a large woman, and she wore a sari. Praveena didn’t like the look of that woman, particularly her betel stained lips, and eyes that had lost it’s focus.

“Do you know a girl named Niveda?” she asked Praveena in the local language, Kanada. ‘What does this woman want with Niveda?’ Praveena wondered. She had never seen Niveda talking to this woman, or even talk of a woman. She wanted to ask, but decided against it. She nodded to the woman and reached her phone to call Niveda.

“Hey, Niveda. There’s a woman out here,” she paused, and glanced at the woman who was now looking around the grounds, “wanting to see you.” Praveena knew that Niveda would have caught the disapproval in her voice.

“Coming,” she replied in haste and disconnected the call. Praveena, surprised, wondered what had happened. Why did Niveda sound so tense? Even a bit scared? What about this woman was so important that she sounded so hurried? She had to ask Niveda.

A few minutes later, Praveena watched as Niveda run towards her and the woman. When she came to a halt, Praveena could see her shaking. Niveda had lost a lot of weight over the past year; she had had to visit her family doctor every weekend. She didn’t seem too weak, but she was not eating as much as she used to.

“Why did you come here?” she barked at the woman. Before Praveena could say anything, Niveda shouted at the woman again, who for some odd reason, obeyed her without protest.

“Come on,” Niveda pulled the woman away from Praveena’s earshot. From where she stood, Praveena could see them talking, but couldn’t hear what they said. Niveda seemed angry; she waved a threatening finger at the woman, who, Praveena was surprised to see, didn’t cower with fear. The woman stood tall, peering at Niveda, replying quietly.

And all of a sudden, Niveda didn’t look angry anymore; she appeared more frightened. Her face tensed and seemed like she was pleading with the woman.

Praveena watched, wondering what was going on. Then the woman pulled out a small brown paper bag from with her handbag. She extended it to Niveda, who longingly reached out to get it. Before she gave it though, the woman said something and Niveda nodded her head vigorously, her bloodshot eyes on the bag.

The woman gave the bag to Niveda and left without a backward glance. Niveda stood there, examining the bag’s contents. A look of relaxation spread across her face. She then noticed Praveena’s eyes fixed at her. Smiling, she turned and hurried back to the hostel.

Praveena turned back to stare at the dew on the grass. ‘That was odd,’ she thought. Why would Niveda hide something from her? It wasn’t like Niveda to do this. Praveena had expected her to walk up to her, and explain this strange woman and why she had come. She just sat there, disappointed and curious.

For the rest of the day, Niveda acted as if the woman hadn’t showed up at all. They had lunch with Anil, but neither of them brought the topic to the table. They had the usual conversation and the customary walk around the college campus speaking of useless things. When the sun grew too hot for them to walk anymore, they found some grass under the Neem tree.

They sat in silence for a while and all of a sudden Niveda slapped her forehead hard saying, “My assignment! I didn’t finish it yet! What about you?” she asked the other two.

“Done it,” Praveena shrugged. “Yeah, me too.” Anil said a little too quickly.

“Oh,” Niveda looked crestfallen. “Drat! Ok, I’ll go finish it. See you guys later,” Waving carelessly, she left the duo wondering.

Looking at Niveda’s retreating figure, Praveena wondered what could bother Niveda. She turned to Anil, hoping to talk to him about Niveda. That’s when she noticed, Anil stared at her with a funny expression on his face. “What’s with you?” Praveena laughed.

“Praveena,” he began, his forehead cringed seriously, “I want to talk to you” He seemed disturbed. it’s important,” he gulped several times as if to swallow an inconvenient lump in his throat.

“Yeah, me too” she replied worried there was something troubling him too. As he heard her reply, his face lit up instantly.

“Yeah?” he asked expectantly, “what is it?”

Praveena was now a bit confused. “Er — you tell me,” she looked serious, and Anil decided to just get it over with. He looked into her eyes, her small, bright, recently bespectacled eyes. And he suddenly looked away, shaking his head. Praveena watched him confused, ‘What’s wrong with him?’ her inner voice sounded amused.

He tried again. He looked at her in the eyes, “I’m in love with you, Praveena.”

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National Blog Posting Month – Day 21