Tag: opinion

Habits can kill

“Routine is lethal”

A confidant once told me that routine is lethal. Because it sounded sophisticated and kind of cool, I agreed without a second thought. It also made so much sense to me—too much of anything is good for nothing, right?

But in the three years since I first heard that statement, I’ve been mulling it over in my brain so many times that I’ve begun to see it from a different angle. Even though I’m still in vehement agreement with that idea, I can’t help but wonder if there’s another perspective to it.

I follow a routine. I wake up at the same time each day and end up at work well before anyone else. I do that on purpose because I like getting in some quiet hours before people start coming in and continue the previous day’s gossip. Small talk is an essential part of the morning for most people and even though I don’t engage, it’s distracting to be around it. My solution to avoiding it is to work up a routine where I work earlier than the rest of them.

Not only do I finish a lot of my work, but I’m also more peaceful at mind. I enjoy the silence and the space it gives me to muse on my musings. I love that routine. In the same way, I leave work at the same time every day so I can get some me-time. It’s another routine that prioritises me and one I’m happy to fall into.

Routines aren’t lethal. They’re lifesaving.

However, the more I wondered about my friend’s statement, and the more I pondered on my own reality, I soon understood that there’s another side to this coin.

Sometimes routines become so routine that we lose sight of their purpose. We start doing things just for the sake of doing them, forgetting why we even do them in the first place. Most people stuck at a nine-to-five job don’t realise they’re stuck.

There’s a fine line between those who choose to follow a routine because they want to and those who follow a routine because that’s the norm. I’ve made that mistake myself and every time I catch myself doing something out of habit rather than of conscious choice, I find that it’s stresses me out.

I get frustrated that I’m doing this thing that I don’t want to but have to because that’s how I’ve always done it.

It’s senseless. It’s useless. And that’s the kind of routine that can kill our soul. Now that’s lethal.

Clear the mind

The world’s a large balloon stuffed with things that suffocate us.

It’s reality. We’re surrounded by things that bring us down and people who cloud our minds. Negativity runs amok and clarity goes askew.

At those times, though, we need to look into ourselves and seek out what’s precious to us. When life takes a wrong turn and everything seems gloomy, we find peace by focusing on ourselves.

—

Oftentimes, external stimuli affects us so much so that our internal self reflects it. I, for one, feel bloated and sick at heart when something in the family or at work upsets me. My physical body reacts to my mental state. That’s why it’s critical to achieve clarity of thought—because a lot more than the mind depends on it.

It’s not easy, to gain clarity, though. I often feel as if there’re countless things ravaging my mind that chaos reins within. It does. Although I accept it as a part of my life, I also know that it affects my health in more ways than one. That’s why I need to clarify my thoughts—cleanse my inner self, find something that puts my mind at ease and gives me peace. Because mental clarity is a promise of an unblocked path, a positive energy to help face the world.

I do everything I can to achieve that state. I satisfy myself doing what I love and what’s good for me—writing, eating clean, exercising, and reading. Writing helps me clarify—to myself—what I’m thinking, letting me get conflicting thoughts out where I can see them. That way, I can reflect and then move on. When I’m engaged in activities I enjoy, I tend to be happier and calmer. It’s from within that calm that comes my clarity.

Many vouch for surrounding ourselves with and embracing positive energy, but it’s far more necessary to ensure we’re void of negative people. Sometimes we force company on ourselves to avoid being alone. But unless the company is right, we only inflict misery upon ourselves. And when we’re miserable, our minds gather fog.

Regardless of everything we say and do, however, to achieve true peace of mind we should also possess broad thinking. Inertia and unwillingness to explore the untrodden path leads to a more tangled and twisted fate. Fear of the unknown clogs our minds and clouds our future. To power through the toughness that’s life, we should challenge ourselves to learning, and achieving our goals. Because when I want something from the whole of my heart, fear doesn’t stand in the way.

Face value

“Wow!”

Applause broke out as the poet bowed, concluding his recital. Appreciation rang across the auditorium shoving excitement down his spine. How long he’d awaited this.

“He seems so conversant with the realities of poor kids in third world countries. He’s done his home work well, I should say,” the director of Save our Souls gestured at the telecast on TV. “Perhaps he should be our ambassador.” She raised her eyebrows at her husband, the investor.

The poet went home to his six children. Children he’d rescued from Save our Souls, an organisation that raised funds by starving the starved.

Dear Diary…

Writing in a diary is precious, isn’t it? The first time I realised its beauty I was reading The Diary of Anne Frank. Born into a Jewish family in Hitler’s Germany, Anne maintained a diary during the few years she and her family were hiding from captivation. Her father, the only survivor of the concentration camp that wiped out the family, published her diary. To this day it remains a stunning reminder and a heart-wrenching portrayal of the life of a teenager in wartime.

It was the emotions and the ultimate simplicity of that diary that inspired me to start writing my own diary. Every day I’d record my thoughts, frustration, observations, and general musings. When I looked at the entries months afterwards, I noticed a lot of silly mistakes. But I also saw a lot of potential and my true self coming out of the diary. That’s how I understood so many aspects and characteristics of myself. It was so sincere and so flippant that I saw myself for the first time.

I loved what I discovered so much so that I incorporated diary entries as part of a story I wrote. I had a couple of chapters dedicated to diary entries of my main characters. And I felt the difference, too. I dug deep into the character to extract their innermost emotions, because the diary of a character speaks truer words about them than the character themselves. It’s so because diaries are for personal readership. Anyone who keeps a journal knows that no one would and should read it but themselves. That gives them immense confidence to be themselves and let their guard down.

I did. That’s why I managed to impress myself so. It’s the same of anyone else. Because we know it’s private, we allow ourselves to be real. We charade our true emotions and opinions in public for fear of people hating or misunderstanding them. While we project what we want to project to the world, a diary is where we take a break and project our actual thoughts.

During a particular rough time in my life, I was so self-pitying. No one else who met me would’ve known that at the time. I didn’t realise it myself—until months later I read what I’d written in my diary. It’s such a harsh way of telling yourself who you are and I think that’s a pretty powerful technique in storytelling.

I just started reading a book that’s made up of nothing but diary entries. I’ve only read about 50 pages but I already see the depth at which a journal characterises the person. I see two different personalities in the same journal entry—one when the character narrates what they did in public, and the second when the character writes down how they felt at that moment. There’s a lot of interesting juxtaposition and a beautiful arc of a story.

Although it’s so good so far, I wonder if it’d get boring as the story progresses. Too much of a good thing, perhaps? I can’t wait to find out.

Start with you

Time and energy are our primary assets. How we use them defines the purpose of our lives. More often than not, however, we expend them on achieving matetrial goals like building a house or buying a car. Throughout our lives, we hustle and struggle to acquire things that we may never enjoy. People say a house is an investment. And so they allocate up to 25 years worth of their labour to paying off housing loans. Sure, it’s beneficial while calculating tax, but at the end of 25 years, when the house becomes theirs for real, it’s just another asset they pass on to the next generation.

My point—we invest so much of our time and energy on physical matters while we should be investing on our mental and spiritual health, instead. It’s what we do for ourselves that completes our existence. That’s what we should all be focussing on: ourselves. That’s not to say we should embrace a narcissistic personality, though. It’s, instead, prioritising our psychological needs engaging in activities that fill our heart with joy and soul with compassion. Unless I invest in my happiness, I wouldn’t feel content with my life.

That’s why we should never regret doing things for ourselves. It’s not only our right but also a duty to nourish our soul. Whether it’s rereading a favourite book, dining out with a close friend, or spending time with a family member, it’s important to do more of what makes us happy.

Only when we’re happy from within do we emit the same joyousness. When we’re satisfied with ourselves, we seek to share the same triumph with our surrounding. When we love ourselves, it transcends to others as well.

And that’s why I believe we shouldn’t ever apologise for starting with ourselves.