Speaking of Sentimentality…

If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that sentiment is a double-sided dagger. ​As much as I love being sentimental about tiny everyday things, I also regret being ever so emotional.

I know I keep bringing this up, but it’s all about my mother. She annoys me more than anyone else can — or will ever dare to; she calls me at awkward times, keeps repeating the same questions every day, and she’s always popping up everywhere –even when I wish she wouldn’t.

It’s annoying to have a mother that cares so much. ​But it’s painful not to have a mother that cares as much.

Perhaps it’s because she was always around me as I grew up, but I’ve grown comfortable around her so much that I take the liberty to shout at her without feeling guilty. She made a huge blunder not curtailing that habit of mine. Still, she takes it all in as I shout at her, because she knows I mean not a word of it.

And once I hang up and stare at my phone, realizing how much she must love me to bear with all my mood swings, I can’t help but feel evil. With her being everywhere — even at the back of my mind while I wake in the morning — I care much about her.

I don’t know about her, but every twelve hours, I have an internal alarm that goes off reminding me that it’s time for her pills. And despite having alarms in her phone, she forgets, and nods her head solemnly as I chide her for abysmal medicine memory.

​That’s the trouble with caring too much — it hurts me when she’s hurting. I’ve seen what she goes through when she forgets her medicine, and it pains me to even imagine that pain.

And it gets even more annoying when she just shrugs it off with a ​toothy laugh. On one hand, I love watching her laugh, and on the other, I’m furious that she’s so negligent.

She checks with me five times a day if I had eaten my ​proper meals, and in the proper time, but she never takes her medicines in the proper time.

Urgh! Her sentiment often puts me off. So much nagging and caring for me, yet not much caring for herself. But it also makes me call her back a second — or third — time, to apologize in a small voice.

​After all, moms are the best, aren’t they?

I Believe in Listening

just listen

The Quiet Revolution took the world by storm. People now acknowledge the difference between being shy and being quiet — but I believe we haven’t spoken enough about listening.

I believe listening to someone’s story requires patience, and discipline​; we need to refrain from interrupting. But who would listen if we all fight to speak? Who would sit across from us and give us their undivided attention?

Each of us has something we’d like to get off our chests. Be it a heavy burden or the excitement of a family trip that has come around after years of yearning, we love sharing stories; ​it’s what makes us human. But we also need  someone to listen to us​: to our rants, our complaints, our expressions of joy and sorrow, of our fears and anxiety. We need a shoulder to lean on, a face to mirror our emotions, or to just have someone listen without judging.

We should listen more. To the people who are closest to us and to the ones we smile at in the corridor every day. There are plenty of people with stories that could sweep us off our feet. Or sometimes, with stories that make us realize how thankless we are for everything life has given us.

It began with a maintenance staff at work. She’s old enough to be my mother, and yet she addresses me as “Madam.” She does cheap labour, and so does her young daughter, whose higher education she cannot afford. The look in her eyes as she notices me and the others swinging by, ​often in reckless extravagance, isn’t jealousy; it’s compassion. It’s a kind of baffling love and respect for the selfish people who don’t even stop to make eye contact.

I wouldn’t have realized it unless I had listened to her story. And all it took from my side was a tiny smile and a “good morning.” Now every time she sees me, she greets me and enquires about my well being — I can see that she cares. ​She cares, because I listened when no one else did.

My mother ​wasn’t much different from the maintenance staff. I talk to her every day, I ramble, rant, complain, worry and sometimes shout at her for her incessant telephone calls, but I hardly ask about her day. I know her routine of course: she’d wake up, make tea, prepare breakfast for two, take her medicines, cook lunch, welcome the maid, have another cup of tea, a break — and then medicines again, lunch, rest for a while, go for a walk, take more pills, then prepare dinner and finally, wait for my father to return. ​Oh and somewhere in the middle of her day, she calls me at least five times  — only to be snapped at.

I decided to listen, because she listened first. When I had no one to share my fears with, she was there. And when she needed me, I listened — as she spoke of her rheumatism, of her problems with her sisters, of her brother’s new business venture  — and what that means to her — of how much she is concerned for my brother and his complete disregard for vegetables. It all seems trivial; I’ve told her to take care of herself; that we’d handle ourselves, but the mother within her never takes a break. She needed someone to talk to, she had to open up and express her feelings  — and I decided to listen. Because I knew bottling up emotions  —  however tiny  —  is a sure path to depression, and I did not want that for my mother.

My mother helped me see the value of listening; everyone’s so busy talking, that no one spares time for the other. In a world that can’t stop talking, listeners are miracles.

​People tell me their stories in the belief that I’d hear them out without judging. They talk to me, and feel the burden slide away; they become light and they smile a little wider. I listen to a lot of stories; endless problems and countless perspectives. These stories inspire me, because when you share someone’s thoughts, you have the power to heal heartaches.

I believe it’s medicinal, and I believe in listening.

To Tattoo or Not to Tattoo

tattoo I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo. And so do a whole lot of other people. But the problem is, from where I come from, anything you want to do to with your life, or to yourself should first be approved by your parents. And the extended family, and then the neighbours — cats and dogs included.

Only after everyone’s had their say, are you allowed to do what you want. That’s the way it is. From the subject you choose to major in, to the guy you wish to marry — everything has an approval workflow.

Knowing all this, makes me dread the scene at my house once I tell my parents that I plan to get myself inked.

“Why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life?”

“And— what if it doesn’t come out right?”

Well, what if nothing went wrong and the tattoo turned out great? I can still do stuff.

But my parents don’t remember Friends analogies. When I say tattoo, there’s only one thing in their mind: self-inflicted pain.

Which, weirdly enough, is true.

But that won’t stop me from wanting to get tattooed.

Wonder why that is.

Tattooing is an ever-green trend — but that’s not why I want to do it. It looks cool, and makes you appear tough. Perhaps a little tougher than you’re feeling — but that’s not the reason.

Ink art is beautiful. Even on paper — I prefer on skin though.

I can come up with loads of reasons to not get tattooed. But not one that’s sensible and acceptable.

There is just no reason not to get a tattoo. Just like there’s no reason to get a tattoo.

But wait. There might just be one good reason I want to get a tattoo. The fun of it. Not the process, but what comes after — the reaction of the people around me. The sense of satisfaction you get when someone’s eyes widen with a mix of envy and disbelief.

Ha! Nothing beats that!

But it’s wrong, isn’t it? To get a tattoo — a permanent one at that — just so you can annoy someone? I mean, it’s just momentary satisfaction — and I’m the one who’s going to have to live with the tattoo for the rest of my life. Is it really worth it?

You bet it is. And by the way, I know they do it with needles. ;)

Pot of Gold

pot of gold

He was certain that this time there would be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. – Today’s Author

“Mr Kumar, they’re here!”

They heard shuffling noises from within and a moment later the flustered Kumar appeared at the doorway.

“Come in, come in. Sorry to have kept you waiting.” he wet his lips nervously as the boy’s parents had tightly pursed their lips.

Leading them inside, he called out to his wife, “Meena, ask Priya to get ready quickly.”

The custom began.

The tall, bespectacled boy wore a crisp full sleeved shirt and a pair of freshly laundered pants. He sat in between his parents who looked around the room critically.

The maid served hot snacks and tea. They ate in silence. Kumar fidgeted in his chair, and kept wringing his hands. He stole glances at the broker, whose smile was fixed.

“So,” the boy’s mother began, “how long should we wait for your princess to get ready?”

Kumar stumbled out of his chair. “Er — she’s ready, I’ll ask her to come out.”

Twenty minutes of Q&A, a vocal test and a walking test later, “Well, we’ll let you know in a couple of days.” Saying so, the mother walked off. Her husband and son followed mutely.

The broker followed them, and Kumar heard them quietly whispering at the entrance. And then, they were gone.

The broker lingered. “Don’t worry, Mr. Kumar. They like your daughter very much. They will call you tomorrow to finish off the deal.”

Kumar’s face lit up for the first time in weeks. “That’s so good to hear! Here.” He shoved five thousand rupees into the broker’s hands. “Have this as a bonus.”

“Thank you so much, Mr. Kumar. You’re so kind. Call me when you’re ready to marry off your second daughter as well.”

Being Shapely

Do round rotis taste better than non-round rotis?

Round Rotis
Round Rotis*

One of the annoying things about Indians is their pushiness when it comes to food.

We’re raised to revere our food, being told constantly that we’re lucky to have our plates filled three times a day. But somehow, it never stuck us that the appearance doesn’t matter as much as the quality of whatever we eat.

It’s true everywhere. That’s why the art of culinary science is so important. We’re so used to the notion that visually appealing stuff is good. Food, people — whatever.

So it’s only natural that we believe perfectly round rotis are better than the slightly disfigured ones.

But is there a difference in taste? I don’t think so. Because whatever the shape, we don’t eat it as it is. Once you start eating, it’s going to disfigured anyway. And I don’t see the point in all the effort involved in making perfectly round rotis.

Of course you can’t explain this to mothers. They do extra to make sure you get the best. Also helps that marketing has made it that synthetically round rotis are better than the natually disfigured ones.

Some things, you can never change.


*A roti is an Indian-bread, made with flour and water. Much like pancakes.