Taking Dad along, the only way I can

One of the things I’m extremely skilled at is thinking of a brilliant idea while doing something else more important. That’s how I came up with TA Dispatch, a live website I can publish my daily rambles on while walking Te Araroa, New Zealand’s long pathway that extends across 3000 kilometres, from the top of the North Island all the way to the bottom of the South Island.

I was already building a daily journaling app that’ll structure my entries, date and location tag them, and identify emotional themes in those entries. The plan is to someday write a series of articles or even a book about this trip. These structured notes would be good fodder.

But good fodder for me could also be comfort to Dad, who has no social media and so no way of following my trip. Of course, I’ll call and text him as often as I can, but I still wanted something he could bookmark, open every morning, and be reassured that I’m OK.

Dad is of a certain generation that never saw or heard of men speaking openly about their feelings, challenges, and insecurities. Since my mum died a couple of years ago, he’s spent a lot of time on his own, contemplating. He was still working through some of that shit when he got his own health scare, which landed him in hospital for an open heart surgery.

It really wasn’t the best time to tell him I’d be off into the wilderness for months on end. As if that wasn’t hard enough, I also had to watch him try and process the enormousness of the trail, of water crossings, and alpine tracks.

I mean, I was processing the scale of the trail, and I’d been wanting to do it for over 7 years. The man had just heard about it!

And so, TA Dispatch was born.

But it didn’t come out all perfect and blemish free. Until this point, everything was only about my personal preferences and habits. And that was hard enough. To create something for someone else, while also staying true to the essence of the project wasn’t straightforward at all.

The good thing is that I have a fairly good idea of what Dad would want. He’d want to see where I am. He’d want to see the surroundings, how big my pack is, what I’m eating, how much I’m walking every day, whether I’m injured at any point, and how I’m feeling.

There’s no way Claude and I could build something that’d encompass all of those, in the time we had. WhatsApp does a reasonably good job of covering most of those requirements. I already call him on it daily and send photos and videos. No use trying to wean him off WhatsApp and onto a different platform just because I built it. At the same time, I wanted something outside of WhatsApp, one I can use as a broadcast medium without having to add too many battery-consuming actions.

I decided on a simple webpage that’ll automatically publish entries from my notetaker/journal app. I’d already built most of it, so the infrastructure was there. All I had to do was choose a bunch of these entries and publish them to a different page. Then came the layout and content. I thought a progress bar would be cool—so Dad could see how far I’ve gone and how much further I still have to go. Then the idea evolved and I wanted to incorporate a progress bar on the New Zealand map. The idea was to have a lighter line marking the full trail, and a darker line over the distance I’ve covered.

Oh, but what if I don’t have internet connection over a long stretch?

The progress would stop progressing and Dad would panic as dads do. Intellectually, he’d know I’m probably off grid for a while, but that won’t stop him from conjuring scary scenarios in his head. So Claude and I decided to add a little section that addressed the elephant in the room. We titled it: “What no news means.” It was basically a block of text to tell Dad that if the progress bar stopped, it’s probably because I’m out of coverage area (which is rather common on the trail) and not because something had happened.

I told Claude to go off and make those changes. When it came back, I realised my theory didn’t translate well practically.

Claude wasn’t great at drawing maps. It wasn’t terrible; you could still tell it was the map of New Zealand, but it was more like a blob than a living, complex landmass that’s constantly shifting, growing, and shrinking.

I decided to scrap the map altogether. Seemed easier than re-prompting Claude to fix the map exactly as I wanted it.

Instead, I included the kilometre marker, captured from my phone’s GPS, and the name of the section for each entry. That way, he’d still know I’m making progress without a stalled map tormenting him. I also got rid of the “What no news means” section for good measure. A kilometre marker would always be “current” because it only publishes when I want to, and is within my control, but those kilometre markers aren’t accurate. They’re just a close estimate, enough for Dad to know which general area I’m in without my exact location.

The purpose was to build something that didn’t already exist in one form or another. For instance, I’ll be carrying a personal locator beacon, a safety device that can pinpoint my coordinates to the emergency services, in case disaster strikes and I need to be airlifted. So I didn’t want the page to be my locator. I factored in rest days and admin days in my broader trail estimate so that the page doesn’t have to countdown the days to my return. In other words, I wanted something that’d fill in the gaps without causing too much anxiety for Dad.

He’s a worrier and nothing I could say or do in these last few days leading up to the trip is going to convince him it’s all OK. Still, I couldn’t leave without giving him something to follow along.

In just a few days, I’ll know whether all the work, time, and energy I put into this thing is worth its salt. One way to find out.

—

This is post 5 of 5 of me using Claude Code to build an app for my Te Araroa hike.

Post 1: The notebook guy started it

Post 2: Who will I be on trail?

Post 3: Kill your darlings, they keep saying

Post 4a: Yes-or-no questions are a bit limiting, apparently

Post 4: Not sure I can call it an agent anymore

In a time…

When artificial intelligence scrapes everything we’ve created,
every poem, every song, every essay, and news article,
that story of you crying in the bathroom over a girl—spilt milk, of looking at supermarket deli meat and remembering your dead mum’s curry, of celebrating with your dad after a football win.
Everything remembered, synthesised, now artificially recreated.

In a time when artificial intelligence scrapes everything we’ve created,
showing us what life used to be like
reminding us of that time we asked ourselves…
what would we do if money weren’t an object?
We’re not quite sure, we argue over it
mourn the loss of a private memory, like a child whose pencil’s been snatched away from her…

In a time when artificial intelligence scrapes everything we’ve created,
uniting us by our miseries
and fears—
we return to those spaces we used to inhabit
the back of coffee shops
window seats at double decker buses
nooks and crannies of the city library
and the depths of spoken word communities
to seek solace
hoping for others who seek it, too

Hello, again.

When I first started this blog several years ago, I was so young and naive that I needed my brother to help set it up. He was already working in the tech field so he knew all about this thing called blogging that was taking over the internet, with so much promise to change the world with powerful words and images. And I guess blogs did that for a long time… until louder forms of content showed up and we gradually lost interest in reading long-form prose, instead craving more and more short and snappy and entertaining pieces.

But I digress.

When my brother helped me set up this blog, he told me he was going to buy a domain—my name—and pay for it. I pushed back. Would it be worth the money? What if I don’t publish any writing and the domain just sat there useless?

He told me to use that doubt as fuel. To write and publish something every day, “even when you have exams,” I remember him saying, making sure our dad was out of earshot. That way, I could feed my passion for writing and also make the spend worth it.

So I did. I took that advice to heart and wrote every day. For nearly a decade, I made sure that I wrote something, anything, and hit publish. I wrote my exams in the morning and on my blog in the evening. Once I started working, I went to office at 7am so I could write before work.

If I had to travel for weeks, I’d spend hours binge writing so I’d have enough posts to schedule for the days I’d be away. I wrote everywhere—in airports and train stations, in my head on my morning runs or while doing the dishes. I wrote ferociously and veraciously (no, Claude, that’s not a typo). I wrote poetry, short stories, random musings, travelogues, book reviews, and so many things. I even taught myself how to write myself out of a writing block.

Even when I moved countries, I kept writing. Even when I enrolled in a full-time degree while working full-time I managed to keep my one-haiku-a-day habit alive.

And then a few months ago, after far too many months working 12-14 hours a day, my mind finally showed me how exhausted I was. When I wasn’t working, all I wanted to do was to while away. Writing for the sake of writing started to feel a bit too heavy.

So I skipped writing for a day and felt deeply guilty about it. It didn’t feel right to let go, even temporarily, of the only thing my entire personality and life was centred around. Since I was 12, all I’ve ever wanted was to be in a constant state of writing.

Then I skipped another day. And another. And another. And I wasn’t feeling as guilty anymore. I just told myself I was writing on LinkedIn thrice a week and that still counted as writing.

It didn’t. Because as much as I enjoy the stories on LinkedIn, the cognitive load required to filter out the bullshit, to read between the lines, to not judge a post by its pouting lips but by its intellect takes a lot out of me.

And so I found myself tonight, as most nights these days, scrolling through LinkedIn and trying to conjure up the energy to write something that’s professional, meaningful, and enjoyable. And I somehow found myself here, instead.