If we were having coffee right now, I’d tell you a story.
A story of my life about someone I met.
I met someone years ago, and she was like me.
Like me in the sense that she loved her coffee.
Her coffee was always black, and her heart otherwise.
Otherwise, we had nothing much common between us.
Between us, though, we throve in our friendship.
Our friendship lasted longer than any coffee
Any coffee could get us talking about any and everything.
And everything would fade away when we began a conversation.
A conversation, that would transcend borders of territory and time.
And time, though, in time, caught up with our friendship too.
Friendship, too, I realised, would grow cold if left alone.
Left alone coffee would wither, and so did our relationship.
Our relationship that started from a coffee, ended the same way.
Same way we went, but we no longer looked at the same horizons.
Hello, boss? I was wondering… do you have a minute, please?
Oh, I could pick your brain anytime? That’s wonderful. Thanks. Um, it’s just that I saw your email, and I didn’t understand something in it. Something about KT?
Er…no, boss. I’ve haven’t heard of that acronym in college. Not in my internships either. I’m sorry I didn’t know it was that important.
Yes, you’re right. I should’ve learnt it in college. That’s why I spent my college life stuck with teachers who wouldn’t even help me work out a project — to learn terms I could use at work four years later.
Yes, my teachers should’ve taught me what KT is. Oh, yes you’re right. It’s my fault that I didn’t care to ask.
I should’ve been more aggressive, yes. And progressive, yes. I’m sorry I’m a loser. I didn’t expect to deal with industry terms three days into my first job. And yes, a good mentor shouldn’t spoon feed me. They should let me learn stuff on my own. My bad. I should know what KT is. Thanks for helping me see that.
Yes, I will Google it. Thanks, boss. You’re the best advisor.
Kinesiology Tape… Kate Bush… Kensington Temple… This can’t be right.
Uh er, Jennifer? Can you help me? My boss sent me an email with a phrase: KT. You know what that means? Oh, I’m sorry, I had forgotten you’re new here too. Have you ever heard of this KT though before? No? Well, that’s ok. Thanks anyway.
Hello again, boss. I tried googling, like you suggested, but couldn’t find anything that seemed to fit.
Yes, yes, I’m a dumbass. I’m stupid because I can’t find something on the web, something I should’ve known coming right from college into corporate. I wonder, could you help me this once and tell me what it is? I swear I won’t come to you for help again.
Wait, what? You’re cancelling our session? We had a session? Our KT session? But I’m trying to figure out what that means!
Oh.
Yes, boss. Now that you mention it, it’s obvious. You’re right, it’s even on Wikipedia — at the bottom, though.
I am stupid not to know Knowledge Transfer. Thanks for teaching me that, boss.
On a rainy day or a grainy day, I wouldn’t turn down tea any day.
At times it trickles down my throat and calms my sore heart, and at other times it trickles down my throat and takes me home. It’s like PJs for my soul. It makes all well.
I took this photo in Darjeeling while walking around in a national wildlife sanctuary. We had stopped for a tea that replenished our tired cells with a perfect balance of caffeine and bitterness.
It was Sunday and I was brunching with a few foreigner friends. And with us were an Indian couple who loved talking about their exotic trips to various parts of the world.
Everything was fine. Sushi is deceptive, I learnt. They packed my unsuspecting mouth with so much of rice and flavour that three rolls stuffed me. Though it could’ve been because I had also eaten some risotto, bread and brie, and noodles, washing it all down with a tall glass of Mocktail.
By the time the storytellers began their cruise somewhere in central Europe, I had almost dozed off. But it was a party, and I had to play my part. I smiled and nodded as if it was the most interesting thing I had ever heard. It was, too, to an extent. I even felt a tinge of jealousy that they could lounge in a jacuzzi for thirty minutes while on a ship that in itself was a large jacuzzi.
And then the man of the couple began narrating the incredible story of his iPhone meeting water. Since they were in the middle of the sea, mobile network was out of the picture. Great. But he had taken his phone over to a water tub — a jacuzzi if you prefer the fancy term — to take pictures. Pictures of what, he didn’t say, and I didn’t know him well enough to ask. Anyway, he had become engrossed in the water to remember the phone in his pocket.
To summarise, he had spent a fortune on the cruise and had gone into the jacuzzi with his phone still in his pants. Awesome. Thirty minutes he relaxed before kicking himself for losing his iPhone to the perilous chemicals of h2o.
Social convention seemed to dictate we laugh at this point. So we did.
He went on. His heart had broken and his phone’s soul had shattered, but he had given it a royal goodbye. At this point, I didn’t know whether I should laugh or put on a sad face. I decided to plaster a smile, showing I was politely interested. Not too much, not too little I thought to myself.
While I had been busy thinking, he had been talking. When I turned my attention to him again, he began telling us tough it was to replace the phone he had just finished mourning. It’s hard, I heard, to get an iPhone replaced. They ask a lot of questions. And a lot of money. Not too surprising, since we were talking Apple and a drenched iPhone that they never claimed was water-proof. “It cost me a bloody 20,000 bucks!”
Hold it right there, buddy.
I was wide awake now. “20,000 bucks”?
A lot of Indians used “Rupee” and “buck” to mean the same thing, but our North American friends — from the looks on the faces — didn’t. The storyteller seemed too invested in his story to notice, but for a moment, there was silence. And “buck” was the culprit.
Plenty of my close colleagues say “buck” when they mean “Rupee” and it always left me with a knot in my stomach. I’d ache to give them a stern look over my glasses and correct their distinct sense of senselessness. They are two different things; a buck in America is 65 rupees in India, which is the approximate cost of a cup of coffee in a semi-fancy restaurant.
Twenty thousand Indian rupees is about $300. And I could imagine our company’s horror when they heard a figure that meant $20,000 to them. Sure, they were all too nice to blurt it out to my Indian friend, but he did sound silly.
We might spend weekends watching Hollywood movies or pretend to read modern American literature, or even chat on Tinder with people from the other side of the world. But some things don’t change. The “Rupee” couldn’t ever become the “buck.” And I wish my iPhone-losing friend hadn’t interwoven our economies like that, given how unstable they are. (But that’s for another time.)
Yesterday, I read an article about goldfish. The author claimed that the human attention span has equalled a goldfish’s.
So now my attention span is just about 9 seconds. That’s one piece of trivia I can relate to. I forget to finish a lot of my tasks, and I don’t read past the headlines in most of the pieces I see online. And thanks to Buzzfeed’s listicle culture, most articles nowadays follow the same format. So I don’t need to read past the heading of each paragraph. As someone who writes for a living, I can sympathize with the writer’s hard work, but I still I don’t read that huge chunk of content myself.
It’s obvious. People take articles for granted now. No one expects a random online surfer to read through an entire piece about how the economic bubble is bubbling. And so, most writers, too, focus only on the headlines and a paragraph or two in between. (Just in case.)
And the article I read yesterday also said people don’t read longer posts because they’re mobile most of the time, looking for instant answers. And the author also says we jump from one tab to another.
Sure, I do that. If I can’t find what I’m looking for in a website, I close the tab and move on. Any writer beating about the bush would drive readers away. After all, there are plenty of sites out there littered with information.
Why do we do that, though? I wouldn’t go to another site if I get what I want from the site I’m looking at. That’s more of a case of what’s in the article than a case of my attention span.
So I disagree with the author. Our attention span isn’t that limited. Plenty of people read a thousand-word article and still stay on in the same page. I’ve done it and I can attest that even impatient readers will sit through an article if it’s gripping enough.
Attention span and content are two different things. If I’m boring, I’ve lost my reader. If my title doesn’t resonate with the reader, they won’t read more. If my writing is too convoluted, I’ve lost my reader. If I make the reader refer a dictionary for every second word, I should know they’re not coming back.
It’s got nothing to do with the goldfish and its attention span. I don’t often credit people enough, but humans are cleverer than fish. We have the capacity to assess before we process, and process before we prosecute. Goldfish can’t do that.