Tag: relationships

Breathe in, breath out. Day in and out.

Work was mind-numbing. But he couldn’t complain. It was his life, his duty. As a responsible adult and a devoted family man, he had to fend for those who depended on him.

It wasn’t satisfying, but it didn’t have to be. However late they paid the bills. Though thatched, they had a roof over their heads, and regardless of shabbiness, they had clothes.

Nevertheless, each day was painful for the body and soul—with torturous commutes, tormenting communes, terrifying consequences, and terrible conditions. Not only did he haul stones at a construction site, but also the lives of three toddlers.

People believe what they will

No two people believe in the same things. Whether it’s lifestyle, philosophy, religion, or others’ behaviour, we don’t all trust the same things. My father, for instance, is a huge believer in idol worship. He never begins an endeavour unless he’s got the blessing from the almighty—which involves visiting a temple and lighting a lamp as an offering, before seeking blessing.

I accompanied him once. I watched as he took solemn steps towards the high-perched, sword-wielding lords, a forlorn look in his eyes and devotion brimming in his heart. My father wasn’t trying to flatter the gods into doing what he wanted. I’ve seen a lot of people promising offers to the lord in exchange for their expectations. But my father wasn’t one of them. All he wanted was to inform the lords about his decision and to wish they’d guide him throughout his quest.

I’m not much of an idol worshipper. For me, it all seems meaningless. But the entire time I observed my father, I neither felt like belittling his faith or trying to sway him into my belief of how unstable worshipping a statue is. Instead, I remained in a state of bemusement, surprised at his resolve.

I didn’t laugh at my father’s practice. That’s in part because I was too scared to offend him, but more so because I had no right to mock his way of doing things. How he chose to live is up to him, and as long as it doesn’t hurt me, it doesn’t have to concern me either.

It later dawned on me that this is the understanding we lack as a society. Perhaps if it had been someone else in my father’s place, I would’ve scorned at them. Perhaps we are all a little like that—exhibiting the irresistible urge to make others agree with us. Displaying courage and the vanity to come out as the better person—the more sane person—we often come off as arrogant and assertive.

That’s why we are so divided. We can’t accept the diversity in us. That’s why we fight, brawl, and war. We should, instead, learn to respect the differences amongst us and live with them. That’s the only way forward to build an equitable society.

Service

Though face be the index of the mind, she’d trained never to betray herself—mind or emotion.

Practising every day for 12 years, she altered 25 years’ habits. No one else had achieved that feat, and she—as deserved to—prided herself as the most successful student.

The rest of her batchmates remained while she advanced. Every step of the away, she grew more confident and assertive. Taking on responsibilities she’d never dreamt of before, Lisa became a model for the academy.

Years after serving in the frontline, she looked back one day. With none to call hers, the soldier retired friendless.

Humans are weird

We are incredible in talent, but also stupid and silly and incorrigible all the time.

Including me, of course.

As an individual, I have expectations. I want people to treat me a certain way, speak with respect, listen as I speak, acknowledge when I offer help, and recognise my work when it’s prudent.

It’s a natural tendency—expectations.

But what we often forget is that others expect the same things we expect of them. I’d get angry when someone overshadows my voice during a discussion. However, when I’m doing the talking, I fail to understand that I overshadow others myself.

We get frustrated when our supervisors don’t recognise our efforts, but when it comes to appreciating someone else for the support they’ve offered us, it seems to minuscule to even mention it.

We don’t see the efforts of others as much as we see our own. We overestimate our own importance while underestimating others’. As we shrug it off as unworthy of a mention or consideration, we come off as arrogant and unreasonable.

That’s the killer of relationships. We become condescending, faltering in our ability to notice others and appreciate their favours, devaluing them, and at last driving them away from our lives.

The way we sometimes treat our parents is a good example. Though aware of all their sacrifices, we still brush them away as if it’s their duty. It’s the same with colleagues. We work for the same employer, and each has their duties. Regardless, it’s essential to take a moment to appreciate those who go a step further to fulfil their duties even by making personal sacrifices.

Not only do they deserve it, but they also expect it. I know I would if it were me. After all, I’m human and I’m weird.