Category: Thoughts uncut

Support Unsupportive

If you’ve been on the internet at all, you’ll know too well how hard it is to figure some apps out. We’re always using these apps — blogging tools, photo editors, text editors, proofreaders, budget managers, ebook readers, reminders (my saviour) — you get the point. These aren’t luxury apps either, they’re necessities. That’s why it’s important that these apps are proper. For the most part, my apps are great. They’re pretty straightforward so I don’t have to toil much. Not all products are like that, though. Some products work fine until they don’t anymore. When that happens, I panic.

Because when something isn’t working as it should, I have no choice but to call customer support. I can’t stand the idea of asking for help. Not because I’m an egotistical bastard, but because customer support isn’t supportive at all. You almost never get the feeling that the person sitting on the other side is, in fact, a person. They’re more like robots with western names.

Whenever I write to the customer support team of a product, I get an automated reply. Which is alright, because that’s how they acknowledge mail. But then they reply to my message with another message that makes me wish they hadn’t bothered at all. It’s incredible how support teams treat customers. They scatter words that make no sense and punctuation that makes everything worse. Some emails echo satire — without intention. “Welcome to the world’s best support team,” they say when they’re far from helpful, and not even close to good. Sure, I can tolerate the waiting time, but I can’t tolerate inhuman response.

“Sorry for your troubles. Any inconvenience is regretted.” That’s the most passive aggressive statement anyone can say to another person, let alone someone asking for help. Of course, the inconvenience is regretted, but what are you doing about it, apart from declaring said nonexistent regret?

I can understand, though. Supporting is tough. It’s exhausting to answer the same questions to a bunch of people who refuse to understand. It’s tough playing the educator to people who’re determined to act stupid. It’s stressful to deal with angry customers across the globe — when more than half of them don’t even speak your language.

Nevertheless, at the end of the day, the customer is king — or queen. And that’s why patience is a virtue. That’s why humaneness is a value. In this age when people tweet hate-words to get the attention of a company, it’s just too easy to bring corporations down.

But it’s not about bringing corporations down with the “power of the people.” It’s just plain hurtful to open my inbox and look at a reply that says, “Your patience is appreciated,” when I know that’s not true. I’d rather decode the product for myself, even if I have to read an unhelpful help document. And when it goes beyond me, it’s easier still to give up altogether. Besides, if one product fails, there are a hundred alternatives online.

Ever had trouble with customer support? Sure you have. What did you do?

What’s the Point of Blogging?

It’s been 5 years since I signed up for WordPress and for a long time, my blog remained vacant and without interaction. And then about three years ago, I got a job and with it, a flash of inspiration to blog more. Since then, I’ve been trying to keep up with life as it flashes by without me even realising it.

I love writing, and I love blogging about anything that strikes me. However, for a while now, I’ve been wondering: what’s the point of blogging?

My job revolves around writing. Copywriter, content writer, and all things words — that’s how I’d describe my work life.

I’ve gotten so deep into work that it’s morphed into my life. I’ve tried to keep my blog away from work, and I think I’ve succeeded. But after writing for and thinking about writing for 10 hours, coming home to do the same thing is a tad bit tiring. It doesn’t bore me, though; far from it. It just drains me. I seldom know what (else) to write, so I write what I like, like haiku, for instance.

It’s fun to play with words, decrypting tones and perspectives. It’s a challenge to tell an entire story in 17 syllables. A challenge I enjoy taking every single time.

That’s how I discovered the point of my blog: to enjoy myself. I didn’t realise it for a long time because, unlike most people, I had fallen in love with my job. My blog isn’t a coping mechanism; I don’t need it to vent my frustrations at work or complain about my boss.

I enjoy my job as much as I enjoy my blog. Happiness all around.

So is there any other reason to blog?

There is.

Just the act of blogging expands beyond self. It spreads my joy, transforming from simple joy into learning. A blog should thrill, give people a reason to come back for more. Just stringing clever wordplay doesn’t do much for anyone. Well, it does to some extent, but discussions, strong opinions, and experiences do more.

So that’s the point of blogging. Giving people a reason to spark conversations. That and a few haikus for myself. I can’t give up on that.

Well, that’s me. What do you think is the point of your blogging?

All You Need to Know About Success

secrets-to-success

Looking for some tips to become successful in business and your personal life? You’ve come to the right place. You can Google “What it takes to be successful?” and you’ll land in thousands of articles. But this one’s different.

In the following pages, I will share with you, the secret to leading a successful life. I’ve written a couple of self-help books before and that gives me every right to tell you what to do. I know about success and I have the audacity to claim that I know more than I know. And that’s all you need to know about my authority over the topic.

As to what you need to know about success itself, let’s just say that it’s a 5-step procedure. Well, no, five’s too little. It’s a 10-step procedure to become what you wish to become and project your best self to the world.

Before we begin, know this: You should never worry about anything anyone says about you. That’s the first rule of wanting to be successful. People who do well in life and society don’t care what their neighbours think or say about them. Instead, they wake up every morning and do what they do best — ignore the world.

Because once you’ve become successful in life — personal or business — you don’t need anyone else in your life. And I don’t mean you can be alone, I just mean that you don’t have to be dependent on someone else.

First lesson: Success in life comes from within. Face a mirror and take a deep breath. Speak to yourself and tell the weird face staring back at you that you’re successful in life. Tell that terrified face that you have everything you need to live a wholesome life.

Sure, you may get fired today because you’ve been slacking for months even after your boss warned you.

Well, your car may backfire on you because you’ve been ignoring the check engine light.

And yes, chances are, you’ll run into the ex-partner you’ve been trying to avoid ever since you cheated on them.

Oh, and that landlord you’ve been hiding away from? He might come around in a few minutes to beat his rent out of you.

But don’t worry about all that now. You’re a star. You can do anything you set your mind to. You are a winner. Think of yourself as a studded, caped, shiny-haired fashion icon. People want to be like you. They’re jealous of you and all that you’ve got for a life.

Congratulations. You’ve crossed the first step towards achieving success. The best way to walk the life you desire is to help yourself. And I’m here to help you help yourself.

To continue reading, buy this book on Amazon. It’ll only cost you half your rent. This is the only self-help book you’ll ever need. Don’t work hard, don’t bother getting down and getting dirty. Just tell yourself you’re successful and you’ll be that in no time.

Somedays in Office

Tuesday. The day after a long weekend. I dragged myself out of the lift and into the office. So much work, so little motivation. I tried shrugging off the invisible, yet unshakable, weight from my shoulders as I shuffled over to my corner of the open office.

Nothing about the place was modern except its aura. The people were a decade behind in their ideas and the paychecks had already started waning.

I put my bag in my place and booted my PC. It took me a while to remember my password and once I did, I went right into my work email. Time to kick some serious ass, even though all I wanted to do was sip soda.

As I opened the notepad I always kept next to my computer, my post-it notes within were gone. I had written my tasks and pains in little colourful papers and put them in my notepad. And now they were gone.

“Hey, buddy!” called a cheery voice from behind me. A voice I recongnised almost in an instant, yet wished I had never heard in the first place.

“Hello, Jonathan.” I tried.

“How do you like your desk?” He smiled, his eyes sparkling and teeth gleaming. “I cleaned it up for you.” He clarified. “I heard you’re having a hard time after you broke up with Kim. Thought you’d like some help clearing the shit out of your life.” He winked. He had always been jealous of my girlfriend, his old classmate.

“Oh,” was all I could muster. It took me a couple of seconds to register the weight of what he had done. I wanted to wring his neck and leave him writhing in pain and misery. But he was the CEO’s nephew.

Oh, great! I smiled, instead. Thanks so much for being so thoughtful. Yes, I was upset about Kim until this morning. Now, thanks to you I’m overjoyed. I couldn’t have thrown away this stuff myself.

No, they’re not important notes. I didn’t have my meeting schedule on them. It’s not like I had noted down my best friend’s number in there. Or the number of that wonderful girl I met at the bookstore.

Good that I didn’t rely only on my notes, but also had my to-do list etched in memory. The boss wouldn’t like it if I forgot my tasks.

Not at all, Jonathan. You were right, those were just pieces of scrap paper. Thank goodness you threw them away. I wouldn’t have done it. I couldn’t have.

Wordplay

“I’m going to Marathon.”

She exhaled. Mark never respected proper spelling and punctuation. And now, he wanted to run a marathon with the upper body strength of a rat. She snorted, cast her phone aside, and picked up her fork again. He wasn’t worth her time or her appetite.

Back in high school, Mark had taken up cross-country biking with zero practice. His parents were too rich to douse his sudden flashes of passion. This time, he had taken it too far.

“Sure.” she texted back. “Hope you can run 42 kilometres.”

He replied: “:) I’m going to Marathon, the Greek city.”