150, Oh My!

This was not the post I had planned to publish today. Nevertheless, it’s as important as ever.

I’ve reached a milestone of 150 followers!

Sounds a little trivial? Well, not for me! I’ve spent much time and months for this blog – not just publishing random posts, but also figuring out a way to get over my inhibitions and feel confident writing about my personal feelings. And though it took me longer than I hoped it would, I have finally managed to build a small readership for myself.

I’m so proud of myself – and thankful to everyone reading this. Thank you so much for everyone who came back for more of my writing – nothing motivated me as much as that rising bar chart in my blog statistics. To all of you who follow this blog, open post emails and spare your time to visit this space – I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

It’s been one hell of a journey on The Chaos Within – I remember times when I used to stare at posts that I thought were so good, but got no attention – of course, now I realize that blogging is more than publishing new blogs; it’s more about the people and the community. As I learn more and more about the amazing world of blogging, I invite you to stand alongside me so that we may take the ride together.

My dear bloggers, all of you are amazing, (whether you’re following me or not!) because blogging requires awesomeness at spirit and a kindness at heart that I’m only just beginning to experience.

Have a great day y’all. I know I will!

National Blog Posting Month – #Day3

What I Learnt From Helping People

I’ve been a WordPress member for 2 years now, though I haven’t been blogging or taking active part in the forums for that long.

Ever since I started reading the forums and replying, I’ve enjoyed it so much that it’s like a way of getting high. Nope, I’m not exaggerating, but it’s so satisfying to see someone walk away (!?) with whatever little help you offered. It’s such a peaceful feeling.

A couple of days ago, I went through the threads I had replied to about 4 months ago, and it definitely made me smile. To see people succeeding in doing something for themselves — wow it was inexplicable joy. But more than that, I was proud of myself. I was proud that the knowledge I had gained from blogging on WordPress has really helped some else blog better.

And, I was getting better at relationships!

I hate to get involved in communities offline. I get claustrophobic whenever I’m in a large crowd of people, particularly around friends of friends. Strangers, I don’t mind — but people who could be potential acquaintances — that’s a scary moment for me. I get scared at having to live in some one else’s shadow. That awkward feeling when you are with a bunch of people you partly know, only because you have a mutual friend? What happens if the friend suddenly moves away, and you’re left alone with these people?

I know — that’s my chance to make friends of my own — but it’s a bit awkward. At least for the first few times. I tend to take some time with people.

But all these changed online. The forums really helped me interact with people easily, and without making a fool out of myself.

Well, I did make a fool out of myself once or twice — or more, but the thing is, no one seemed to think that way. Besides, even if they did, no one comments on it, or makes it a big issue. After all, we all make mistakes and we need to learn somehow.

From chipping in at the WordPress Forums, I learnt the details of a few features that I use myself. Not to mention how much I enjoyed being a part of the WP community.

Also, I learnt how awesome the internet is.

National Blog Posting Month – #Day2

November Ahoy!

Alright, so November’s finally here – not that I’ve been sitting on the edge of my seat for it, but – it’s the first day of National Novel Writing Month, and the more challenging, National Blog Posting Month.

Last year, same date, I was feverishly typing away at my first stab at a novel – an endeavour I’m so glad to say that I completed – though editing’s taken me over a year. Anyway, this year, I decided to take up the NaBloPoMo challenge.

There! I’ve said it – now that it’s out in the open, I’m going to have to sit and write no matter what. Either that or my ego would kill me, and I’ll have to cringe in guilt knowing I’ve lost a precious opportunity to connect with other bloggers.

But hopefully, that’s not going to happen.

Even to this day, going from Add New Post to Schedule/Publish in one day is quite a task for me – I prefer to create drafts whenever I feel like it and publish them in installments. So, this challenge, I plan to create and publish posts everyday – and use the drafts sparingly.

Also, I’ve taken up the Photography 101 Challenge – so I’ll probably club both challenges together – which will give me a lot of post ideas.

It’s going to be a mindful November – glad to get started.

All the best to all folks facing a variety of challenges this month – any beyond.

Money Matters

“We’re using last year’s left overs.”

“Left overs!” Prem snorted, “At least my kids are luckier than yours! They wanted crackers for 2000 and I got them for 3000 rupees! Besides, It’s just one day.”

“Sir?”

The trash collector had come for his festive bonus. Prem groaned as he rummaged in his wallet. He peeled out a few notes, picked the oldest looking 20 rupee, and handed it to the shabby man.

He left, crestfallen.

“Maybe you should have given him more,” his wife suggested.

“Salary’s a few weeks away, why waste the money?”

October 22nd was Deepawali/Diwali here in India, and fire crackers are a major part of the expenses. This is another story for my Flash Fiction collection, based on what I’d like to call The Festival of Darkness.

The Ultimate Race

On your marks, get set, go! Arms flailing, the girls rush forward. The stronger of the two wins. Naturally. The children clap and cheer, the teachers smile their appreciation. The girl who has won laughs happily and runs back in triumph. I look at the girl who has lost. In her eyes, I see shame, I see fear, I see despair. Shame at not being able to win. fear of what others are thinking, despair at not knowing what to do next. I see a soul that is slowly being bruised and brutalised by comparison. Something within her has withered. I want to tell her that she is beautiful and sensitive, that this race doesn’t matter, that it’s just a silly system that grown-ups invented for their own selfish reasons. I want to give her something to make her feel better. In my hand, I have an orange, Impulsively, I reach forward, take the hand of this child and put the orange into it. ‘Take this’, I say to her. ‘It’s for coming second.’

— Excerpt from “Ramblings on a beach” by Kabir Bedi

Oh, isn’t the world drunk on competition!

Everyone wants to outdo each other. Run, run, life is a race. The only purpose is to win the rat race. We’re so high on the thought that we easily fail to recognize the little things that we lose, merely by winning a good-for-nothing rat race.

How many poeple have we hurt, how many people we’ve made feel small. We’ve crushed too many souls. We’ve lost friends, family, health and joy. It’s all our obsessive need to belong, to be on top, to succeed. The need to override others, to control, to influence, to manipulate, to exploit.

What’s the point? What do we gain by walking over the very things that matter the most to us?

But hey, we’ve won the race! And now we’re alone.

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