Tag: beliefs

It Doesn’t Matter

Because in the end, nothing matters.

Feels awkward, to start the day with a thought like that. But it’s a bitter fact. Nothing matters. In the end. Not the people we choose to hold hands in church with, not the kind of soup we pick at the supermarket, or the lifestyle that we adopt.

But, sad enough, it all matters. Now.

And like it or not, we live in the now. We think ahead — humans are weird that way — and save for the future. Save money, save the journeys we’d like to make, save everything. We save ourselves now, hoping to take up life later  on— in future.

But in the end, nothing matters. In future, once I’m dead and gone, it doesn’t matter that I had once smoked pot in school. But oh, it matters so much when I’m in school.

But, which matters to us more; the future, or this moment?

Sometimes, even thinking about it is meaningless. Because it won’t matter to me at the end of this post. But mid-way, it matters a lot. Not only because it’s giving me something to ramble about, but also because my decision now affects the course of my life.

This moment matters to me. The small choices matter. Like choosing to read alone, instead of throwing myself into a crowd of college kids drunk on their parents’ money. I know it won’t matter later. That’s why it matters now. Because it’s trivial. And short-lived. Because I’ll never get to make these choices again. I hold on to the things that matter to me now, because when I get to a point when nothing would matter anymore, I would remember these little choices.

Because, after all, even the death bed is just a moment. And then, it would be the now.

The Big Bang Theory. Before and After Star Trek

Narmadhaa’s log. Stardate: I don’t know when.

sheldon

It’s funny how after you watch and re-watch a television series you still can’t figure why you don’t understand it completely. Happened with The Big Bang Theory.

I had watched (over and over) the series up to season 8 long before I decided to watch the Star Trek movies.

And now, after watching the movies and starting on the Star Trek original series, I’m looking at The Big Bang Theory in a whole new light. Or to be more specific, I’m seeing my favourite character, Sheldon in a new light.

There’s nothing unlovable about Sheldon. His oddities, his ignorance and his persistent denial of ignorance — everything that makes him the most attractive character on the show. Sometimes I agree so much with the way Amy speaks of him that even I don’t understand why the other characters tend to make fun of him.

But after Star Trek, I’m not sure whether I’m attracted to Sheldon. Or Spock. There I said it.

When I first watched The Big Bang Theory, I was amazed at Sheldon’s behaviour. Him not being able to understand sarcasm, his obsession for cleanliness, his un-understandable lust for logic and his complete ignorance of emotions. Try to hug him and he’ll look at you as if you’re crazy. Because you can only try. Say something (anything) and he’ll look at you as if you’re a babbling monkey. So annoying, so intimidating, so inhuman. Yet so humane.

I loved everything about Sheldon Cooper, the awkward genius.

And then I realized that Sheldon was a caricature of the one person he adored: Mr. Spock.

So now I’m torn. Do I love the original, or the caricature, which I saw first?

Or still, is it Jim Parsons who’s given new life to two great fictional characters?

This needs some logical reasoning, and I’m incapable of it.

Long live and prosper.

The Biggest Change

No matter what anyone says, the biggest change for me is the crack of dawn.

Despite being a night person, I’ve always enjoyed the sunrise. I’d rather stay up all night than wake up early morning, but I manage to catch sight of the sun as early as possible.

It was one of those days. I just happen to look through the window, and I saw a myriad of colors raiding the sky. It was sunrise. And I had an iPhone I couldn’t resist picking up.

change