Alternative reality

โ€œIโ€™ll have a flat white with an extra shot and almond milk, please.โ€

For most of us, thatโ€™s just another coffee order. A custom drink unlike the regular rather milky beverage.

However, until recently, that was more than a luxury for me. Before I moved to Australia, I took my coffee black or with home-made oat milk, which I wasnโ€™t a huge fan of anyway. Iโ€™m vegan, and so my only option back in India was to go black or go home. I didnโ€™t mind much, because Iโ€™ve always felt that functional coffee should be strong, sugarless, and black.

Still, it wouldโ€™ve been nice to blend a splash of almond milk in my coffee.

Sure, I could still get it off one of those niche supermarkets that almost no one goes to, where they stock about two or three cartons of alternative milk every six months. The reasonโ€”almond milk is an imported good. And so, naturally it was far too expensive for my lifestyle. It remained a rare and pricey trinket I could observe from a distance, without ever a hope of possession.

Coffee shops stood no chance of offering it.

Does that sound pathetic?

Because it is.

Now though, I have three cartons of almond milk in my pantry. Yes, it costs little more than regular milk, but itโ€™s still abundant and accessible. Thatโ€™s first-world privilege.

We donโ€™t often realise that even the most negligible aspects of our everyday life is such a big deal for the rest of the world. Coming from the rest of the world, I am stunned at the level of eschewal in society. Of course, I donโ€™t expect people to worship the alternative milk aisle, but instead, I realise Iโ€™ve become more grateful than I thought I could be. Itโ€™s a strange side of my character I didnโ€™t know I hadโ€”a side thatโ€™s so conscious and appreciative of the little things in life.

But letโ€™s talk about something more important.

A child from an average household in a developing country wouldnโ€™t need or want alternative milk.

I didnโ€™t until I went vegan. Although I didnโ€™t grow up vegetarian, my family thrived on vegetable nutrition at least 6 days of the week. Sundays were specialโ€”lamb days. Or chicken. Or eating out. You get the idea. 

But, milk was the beverage staple, just as rice was for meals. It was a habit I grew into as I got older, because thatโ€™s the way weโ€™ve always done things. No questions asked. It also helps that most Indian foods are largely plant-based. Alternatives werenโ€™t part of the culture, and so werenโ€™t an available option anywhere.

Someone once told me that health-conscious dietary practices are first-world problems. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised itโ€™s true. A family that survives on gruel twice a day wouldnโ€™t bargain or complain about not getting almond milk. Any milk is blessing. 

And when youโ€™re growing up in such an environment, you donโ€™t always know or listen to your body. Youโ€™ll just shrug off the bloat from gluten and the gas from milk as just another bad day. Because youโ€™ve never experienced gluten-free, vegan, or raw food habits.

Lack of awareness leads to lack of wants. Which may seem like a good idea, but it also leads to unhealthy practices and lifestyles. Which is the disappointing reality in many of our so-called under-developed countries.

Winter walks

Winter trees by the Lake Ginninderra

Wandering by the lake
on a warm winter afternoon
the ground still reeking of dew
last nightโ€™s mist lost for good
taking one step after another
the sun burning my face
and shivering breeze
nuzzling my neck, ruffling hair
from its designated place
I saw
what Iโ€™d never seen
trees
as yesterday, they stood
leaves now browner,
falling faster
shedding
as though a snake its skin
showing off
whimsically their ashy limbs
once hidden behind gravy barks
sticking up oddly in angles
as a dead mosquito victim of spite
like chartered children
unwanted they stood
pale, shaken, deprived
still housing burgundy leaves
under their bosom,
the protective shell,
a new home on the ground
for those fallen from above
awaiting another home
down under this time
again
to rise high as green as ever
circling back
I retraced my steps homeward
just like nature


Photo: Winter trees by the Lake Ginninderra

Artists are sad people

Iโ€™ve been living in Canberra for almost two months now. And for a long time, I had trouble believing that I now lived in a first-world country. The main reason is that I grew up in a place where sidewalks are unheard of and pedestrians are more close to the pyre than they are to having priority in the streets. I walked about a kilometre every day to work and every day I grazed whizzing motorcycles, trying hard not to jump at the horns blaring next to my ear.

I donโ€™t mean to sound depressed.

But I was.

Itโ€˜s hard not to be. In a society like that, people donโ€™t liveโ€”they subsist. Every day is a struggle to get through. Thereโ€™s always something or another to worry about: bills, rent, school fees, office politics, weak knees, unidentifiable skin allergies, lack of health insurance, yada yada.

And as a blogger, I had so much to talk about. To complain. Things I wished would be better, public services that couldโ€™ve existed, footpaths that shouldโ€™ve been paved, and scowls we could do without.

All these emotions and opinions fed my creativity.

In Canberra, however, I have none of the negative feelings I used to have. For the first time in my life, I donโ€™t have pressing matters chocking my existence, barring my experience of life.

In other words, I have almost nothing to complain about.

Thatโ€™s scary. Because without something or someone to whine about, I have no writing material. Iโ€™ve hit a hurdle, except that this isnโ€™t the dreaded writerโ€™s block.

This is happiness.

Although itโ€™s what Iโ€™ve always wanted to achieve for myself, this also terrifies me. Now, unlike before, I donโ€™t have a raging flame fuming my words. Instead, I have to find an impetus elsewhere. I have to work harder to come up with material because my life has nothing newsworthy about it.

Perfect isnโ€™t always good, remember.

When I realised this a week ago, I was anxious at first. Now that lifeโ€™s plenty of good things, I didnโ€™t know how Iโ€˜d sustain as a writer without all the bad things to reflect upon.

Then I understood something big.

So what if all I did today was bussing to the city back? So what if Iโ€™m living an ordinary life?

Iโ€™m finally free. Free to imagine.

Sydney scenes

When I exited the aircraft, I was so excited to be visiting Sydney for the first time. After a month there, my brother mentioned it was starting to grow on him.

We both hated the idea of living in Sydney. Even before weโ€™d even seen the city. Now, though, he seemed to have second thoughts, and I was eager to find out how I felt.

Long story shortโ€”I still donโ€™t like the idea of living in Sydney.

I did like Sydney, however. Contradictory, I know. But as soon as I reached my hotel on Harbour Street, in the heart of the city (CBD), I texted my colleague to see if we could catch up. After all, I wasnโ€™t touring Sydneyโ€”I was there to attend a conference, to stay locked up inside the infamous International Convention Centre from 8 am to 5 pm on a Thursday and Friday. I met my team mates at around 5 pm, and after a not-so-great coffee, I left to explore.

Vivid Sydney display
Vivid Sydney display

Not one to linger these wintry days, the sun had set off at around 5. But Sydney city is the Down Under version of the city that never sleeps. Lights glared from every corner, and instead of listening to my colleagues ranting (reasonably, albeit boringly) about office politics, I preferred to wander the streets.

Sydney Harbour during Vivid Sydney
Sydney Harbour during Vivid Sydney

Thatโ€™s when I realised the sheer volume of people who called Sydney home. I wasnโ€™t far from Chinatown and Koreatown so I ran into thousands of all flavours of Asians. And I donโ€™t mean ran into in a figurative sense either. So many people wandered just as I did, except they were looking at their phones letting their well-practised feet and conditioned subconsciousness guide them through navigating the street signs.

Almost everyone followed street signs. And that made me so happy. But it was also frustrating when a lot of couples clung to each other while walking down the footpath. Dawdling behind them, I had a hard time overtaking them without bumping into another arm-locked couple.

And I wonโ€™t even start about the low-burning cigarette butts every other person clung to. It wasn’t that cold. At least not for meโ€”not after Canberra anyway.

But it was all great fun. I stopped by for a hot chocolate and walked over to the Opera House. May-June is a great time to visit this studded bay area because Vivid Sydney is on show. The whole locality lights up, laser shows beam about, special over-priced cruise tours dig gold, and along with the many significant buildings in the neighbourhood, the Opera House takes on a stunning veil of animated display.

The closer I got to the building, the faster I seemed to walk. It happens to me all the time. Excitement and eagerness make me trot without a regard for my knees or my not-good-for-walking Converse. But what the hell, I thought to myself. You donโ€™t always get to see the Opera House for the first time. Thereโ€™ll always be reasons no to do somethingโ€”rain, cold, wind, stiff shoes, bad hair days, tired feet, or work night. But nothing beats the sense of accomplishment that comes with pushing through nevertheless. That keeps the spark alive for a traveller.

Nestling in that spark, I returned to my room, ready for work the following day.

Next dayโ€”

Work was average, and I wasn’t happy with my contribution. But the spark still triggered me to take a ferry unto Manly. And I saw the Opera House again from a whole different perspective. After all, whatโ€™s the point of life if you let work interfere with it?