Tag: office

Support Unsupportive

If you’ve been on the internet at all, you’ll know too well how hard it is to figure some apps out. We’re always using these apps — blogging tools, photo editors, text editors, proofreaders, budget managers, ebook readers, reminders (my saviour) — you get the point. These aren’t luxury apps either, they’re necessities. That’s why it’s important that these apps are proper. For the most part, my apps are great. They’re pretty straightforward so I don’t have to toil much. Not all products are like that, though. Some products work fine until they don’t anymore. When that happens, I panic.

Because when something isn’t working as it should, I have no choice but to call customer support. I can’t stand the idea of asking for help. Not because I’m an egotistical bastard, but because customer support isn’t supportive at all. You almost never get the feeling that the person sitting on the other side is, in fact, a person. They’re more like robots with western names.

Whenever I write to the customer support team of a product, I get an automated reply. Which is alright, because that’s how they acknowledge mail. But then they reply to my message with another message that makes me wish they hadn’t bothered at all. It’s incredible how support teams treat customers. They scatter words that make no sense and punctuation that makes everything worse. Some emails echo satire — without intention. “Welcome to the world’s best support team,” they say when they’re far from helpful, and not even close to good. Sure, I can tolerate the waiting time, but I can’t tolerate inhuman response.

“Sorry for your troubles. Any inconvenience is regretted.” That’s the most passive aggressive statement anyone can say to another person, let alone someone asking for help. Of course, the inconvenience is regretted, but what are you doing about it, apart from declaring said nonexistent regret?

I can understand, though. Supporting is tough. It’s exhausting to answer the same questions to a bunch of people who refuse to understand. It’s tough playing the educator to people who’re determined to act stupid. It’s stressful to deal with angry customers across the globe — when more than half of them don’t even speak your language.

Nevertheless, at the end of the day, the customer is king — or queen. And that’s why patience is a virtue. That’s why humaneness is a value. In this age when people tweet hate-words to get the attention of a company, it’s just too easy to bring corporations down.

But it’s not about bringing corporations down with the “power of the people.” It’s just plain hurtful to open my inbox and look at a reply that says, “Your patience is appreciated,” when I know that’s not true. I’d rather decode the product for myself, even if I have to read an unhelpful help document. And when it goes beyond me, it’s easier still to give up altogether. Besides, if one product fails, there are a hundred alternatives online.

Ever had trouble with customer support? Sure you have. What did you do?

The Surprise

Ever since Jessica started bringing lunch from home, somehow, it would go missing. The first day, she laughed it off, amused that someone didn’t like her eating healthy. As days went by, though, it started to get on her nerves.

The person who kept stealing her lunch out of the office refrigerator was in for a big surprise today, she thought to herself rolling the rice-paper sandwich and securing it in place with a toothpick.

When the busboy who brought coffee sneaked into her lunch, as usual, he saw a second sandwich with a note: “Happy to share!”

Somedays in Office

Tuesday. The day after a long weekend. I dragged myself out of the lift and into the office. So much work, so little motivation. I tried shrugging off the invisible, yet unshakable, weight from my shoulders as I shuffled over to my corner of the open office.

Nothing about the place was modern except its aura. The people were a decade behind in their ideas and the paychecks had already started waning.

I put my bag in my place and booted my PC. It took me a while to remember my password and once I did, I went right into my work email. Time to kick some serious ass, even though all I wanted to do was sip soda.

As I opened the notepad I always kept next to my computer, my post-it notes within were gone. I had written my tasks and pains in little colourful papers and put them in my notepad. And now they were gone.

“Hey, buddy!” called a cheery voice from behind me. A voice I recongnised almost in an instant, yet wished I had never heard in the first place.

“Hello, Jonathan.” I tried.

“How do you like your desk?” He smiled, his eyes sparkling and teeth gleaming. “I cleaned it up for you.” He clarified. “I heard you’re having a hard time after you broke up with Kim. Thought you’d like some help clearing the shit out of your life.” He winked. He had always been jealous of my girlfriend, his old classmate.

“Oh,” was all I could muster. It took me a couple of seconds to register the weight of what he had done. I wanted to wring his neck and leave him writhing in pain and misery. But he was the CEO’s nephew.

Oh, great! I smiled, instead. Thanks so much for being so thoughtful. Yes, I was upset about Kim until this morning. Now, thanks to you I’m overjoyed. I couldn’t have thrown away this stuff myself.

No, they’re not important notes. I didn’t have my meeting schedule on them. It’s not like I had noted down my best friend’s number in there. Or the number of that wonderful girl I met at the bookstore.

Good that I didn’t rely only on my notes, but also had my to-do list etched in memory. The boss wouldn’t like it if I forgot my tasks.

Not at all, Jonathan. You were right, those were just pieces of scrap paper. Thank goodness you threw them away. I wouldn’t have done it. I couldn’t have.

Flash news

“Hey, Jude! Did you hear? Hilary lost, Trump won!”

Oh hey, Jason. Trump won, you say? That’s such a surprise. When did this happen, anyway? I must’ve been living under a rock or something. I can’t believe I didn’t know he won. Well, it’s not like I had stayed up watching the three debates live or had discussed with my friends in the US about Trump’s chances. No, thanks so much for letting me know that Trump won the election. You’re my only news source. I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

By the way, how’s that project coming along? Do you realise that our client doesn’t care about the outcome of this election? How far are we on that?

Oh, we haven’t started yet? That’s brilliant. No, that’s fine, we can tell them it’d take a while. After all, we were busy watching the US elections and so was the whole world — our Russian client won’t mind at all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get back to my email.

What’s that? Oh, you just watched Trump’s speech on YouTube? Cool. Huh, the comments say he was high? Well, I don’t know. And you know what, maybe I don’t care. He was scary, you say? Sure, it’s not like I watched his speech live or anything but whether he smokes or not is his problem. Nope, I did not watch the recorded version. You think it was better than watching him live?

Anyway, thanks for the chat. I had been working for ten minutes straight and needed a fifteen-minute power break. By the way, since you know so much about the elections, do you know when Trump’s signing in as president?

Well, that’s weird. How come you didn’t know that there would be an official peaceful transition of power? You’ve been so religious about the election news so far today that I thought you’d know. Anyway, never mind. I guess it’s on the 20th of January. Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, check your mail. The client just emailed us asking for the report. Would you reply to them? And don’t forget to tell them you were busy with the elections.

What’s the Point of Small Talk?

No matter where we go and who we meet, there’s always an icebreaker. It’s meant to dissolve inhibitions, help understand others’ likes and dislikes, and even know if they eat pizza with a fork or hands. Sometimes it goes as far as potential philosophy and Zen practices that could save the world. We use small talk to ease people into a situation and make them feel comfortable. Except, small talk doesn’t work.Small talk is often a way to kill time while we’re waiting for someone else.

We don’t care much about other people. When someone asks in a group, “So where are you from, how are you, how’s work, how’s the wife?” We smile and nod along as if it’s interesting, even though we’re far from interested.

It’s common sense. I don’t care how my colleague spent his weekend. I don’t care that my classmate’s mother made her mittens, or that her pet cat laid six kittens. It doesn’t matter to me that the new kid in school had a meltdown or that the principal fired five maintenance staff because the school had too many.

It’s ok not to care. And it’s ok to accept that. The only reason my colleague is listening to me ramble on about my Irritable Bowel Syndrome is because they’re too polite to ask me to shut up. Or too sleepy to get to work. And it’s understandable, too. It’s not their bowels, so why would they even bother?

We’re a clever species. We read articles every day about why small talk isn’t helping us in the long run or how much time we’re wasting at work chattering at the water cooler. And I’ve seen colleagues get irritable when another person strikes small conversations, whiling away time. Yet, despite knowing how futile small talk is, we still indulge in it.

Sometimes, we don’t even realise we’re doing it. When I was new in town, my cousin took me to a party because she said it’d be a great place to meet people. And I met a couple of girls. After asking their names and where they studied, I stopped talking. They were younger than I and not my type. So I didn’t force conversation. But they determined to help me get around and make more friends because my cousin had asked them to.

And so the session began. They asked me where I studied. Why I chose literature when engineering was the more sensible option, why I didn’t answer when my mother called a minute ago, where I’d love to live, what I’d do if money weren’t an object, etcetera, etcetera. I got bored after the first question, but I answered anyway — in not more than two or three sentences. However, besides my obvious resentment, they kept at it until I left without telling anyone.

And that’s what small talk does. It ruins relationships even before they begin. Sure, some people claim that it diffuses tension and helps people find common ground. But if someone forced me to talk, I’d only get bored. I’d lose respect for them because they waste my time. I’d avoid them in future because small talk makes me disconnect.