Converse Impromptu

Hello there! Fancy seeing you at my desk. I thought your workplace was on the other side of the floor?

Oh, you’re chatting with my team, that’s nice. Getting a break from all the sales calls you’re dealing with? Well, you deserve it. After all, how many deals do we have now, five Yes, that’s a big improvement from last year’s four. It’s awesome, and no you’re not wasting our time at all. We’re happy to put our work on hold, this is important stuff, whatever we’re talking about.

Hey, no, that’s ok. Don’t bother getting up from my chair, I’ll just stand around for a while. Besides, I’ve been sitting all day at a horrible meeting. The boss just grabbed my throat about that report we should’ve sent. But that can wait. What were you saying, again? Oh, yes the league.

Huh? Sorry, I’m not bored. I’m just exhausted you see. But don’t let that get in the way of your conversation. It must be important if you must have it at my desk.

Oh, yes, he shouldn’t have shouted at the umpire like that. And I did see how the coach reacted. I would have been offended. But — er — you’re invading my space and I’m not punching you, so what do I know, huh?

That’s great, I mean, it was so cool when he lurched over and caught the ball. I didn’t think he would get it either. No, I didn’t nod off to sleep! I was awake, watching the game. Oh, that final moment, when he kissed the ground? Wow, yes, I agree, pure love for his nation. You’re right, that’s what we need, more sportsmen like him. Such a team player. He’s always focussed on the game, never wavering. You know, I’ve never seen him at after parties or hangouts either. I’ve heard he doesn’t do that stuff. Of course, we work at a tech company, and we’re not the same as him. But I’m saying, what a man!

Sorry, what, a movie tomorrow? But don’t you have a meeting with that foreign client? Oh, you sure someone else can handle it? I thought it was your responsibility. Well, anyway, I wish I could come, but I have plans. Plus, work doesn’t happen on its own, you know. Anything else you want to talk about?

Ah, ha, good places for beer! That’s a never-ending conversation. Except, I have to leave early and you taking over my workplace isn’t that great. But sure, it’s Wednesday. It’s not like it’s the most important day, huh?

You know what? I’m just going to take my laptop to the system admin. It’s been weird all week. I’ll see you around?

Never.

Not Many People Know Their High

In the age of technology, people force themselves to adhere to their 8-hours-a-day routine. Something’s wrong with that setup.

People want to snooze and wish it were a holiday. They long to lounge on the sofa and snack on beer and pizza.

But reality hits hard and so does work pressure. Walking into office has become as taxing as walking for exercise.

The growing pile of papers on their desks makes brains decay. They know their lives are headed nowhere. Something’s missing, they know that, but they know not what.

So they look for happiness anywhere they could find it. They crave elation; a high beyond stacks of tasks. And they find it. Some find it in coke, some meth, or food, whiskey, tobacco, even — they ache for high, and find addiction, instead.

Getting high transcends to losing consciousness. Laughter becomes torturous, and confidence, a long-lost relative. Solitude reeks of isolation and loneliness gnaws at them even in a group.

But as the weekend wanes and Monday appears, the clock ticks again and responsibilities rise. They master the art of being busy, too occupied even to notice the sunset. The kids yell into the phone, and the spouse wonders aloud if they’d have a house of their own. The father pops in to say hi, complains about his own wife and, wants a recliner for Christmas. Then walks away waving in the air.

The week goes by and Wednesday arrives, along with lengthy memos and unfinished tasks. And they go round in circles reaching nowhere. Trying to please the spouse, the father, and the neighbour, they fail through and through. Life goes on, competing with dad next door, or mom across the block, wondering what relatives would say about that new shirt, or how colleagues would react to the tie clip.

They lift weights heavier than themselves. Providing for all others except themselves. Who’d blame them for kicking back with a cold beer? As the weekend begins again, they run up the mountain out of breath. From growing up to growing old, a life so clocked they’ve found nothing to make them high.

A team outing, a friendly dinner party, and a social drink — to avoid judgement. They look up to society, to accept them, to feel inclusive. And if that means they have sacrifice beer for something stronger, so be it. Yearning to belong, they’re looking for recognition even in the canon’s mouth.

Until one day it all stops. One day, when life flashes before their eyes, all they’d see is disappointing years, outlining work schedules and weak-kneed drinking parties. That day, they realise they’ve lived life playing roles. From a schoolboy and a young lover to a soldier, and to a father, they’ve played each of the seven roles but lived through none of those.

They’d realise: They’d spent their time making their teachers, parents, spouse, children, friends, and even their grandchildren happy. And when they see they haven’t seen their highest point of happiness, it’s already too late. We are they.

Unless we stop now.

Unless we shove the elephant in the room, it won’t move away. Unless we reflect now, we’d have nothing to reflect on later. Unless we find our high now, we never will.

Try something new for the first time. Wake up an hour early. Watch the sunrise. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Pet a dog, or sit on a bench.

Reflect.

Chase a squirrel to amuse yourself. Read a book to a child. Play the piano. Write a letter to your fist crush. Give it to your spouse instead. Ruffle your kid’s hair, and flash a smile to Maintenance Bob. Hit the gym. Eat some candy, forget the alarm for a day. Skip the tie for work one day, laugh without reason, reason without cause.

Somewhere down the lane, you’d have found something that made you high.

And when you do, hold on. Once you’ve seen the little joys of life, the things that make life worth living, you wouldn’t go back to the dark chasm of self-hatred.

You’d sleep better than you ever did. You’d read and write and laugh and sing like you don’t give a damn. The world may cringe, the world may judge, but you’ll have changed. Because when you’ve found your true high, you’ve found a way to accept yourself.

And as life flashes before your dropping eyes, nothing else would matter.

Pantry Talks

Hi there! Sorry, I didn’t notice you. Though I wouldn’t have come in if I had. Great to see you — again.

I’m just here to grab a cup of coffee. Sure, we can talk. As long as it’s here and not in my place. I wouldn’t want you there flirting with my teammates.

Oh, work’s fine, thanks for asking. How’s about yours?

Must’ve been hard to input all those numbers, huh? Ah no worries, you won’t get fired for smoking weed at the parking lot. You were stressed, you say? Sure, it’s not as if that’s offensive or dangerous—or against the policy.

Nothing’s new with life, then? Quite obvious, since we had this exact conversation in the restroom a couple of hours ago. But you’re right. Anything can happen anytime, even though we’re just staring at screens behind glass doors.

Yeah, the weekend’s almost here. No plans yet, why do you ask? Oh, it’s a place south of here, huh? Sounds fun, a weekend hike with you and some friends I don’t know. Sure,
I’d love to make barbecue and talk about new movies. Not at all a waste of time.

No no, we can talk. It’s not like I have a memo to finish. Or work on the upcoming release.

Hell no, I’m not declining your hike offer because I have a date. And no, it’s not that I don’t like you either. I’m cool with you gossiping behind people’s backs. It sure is a fun way to blow off steam. You’re right, life’s short. And standing here talking to you makes me realise it more.

You know, why didn’t make eye contact as I came in here? No, I didn’t want to avoid you, but, you see, I’m stuck with an issue. Can you help fix it?

Wha — you just remembered you’re busy? You were just chilling out until I mentioned work. You shouldn’t be in the pantry at 3 in the afternoon if you have tasks over your head.

Oh, I see. Sure, sure, we all get distracted sometimes. So, you’re going now? Yup, I’ll catch you sometime later. And I hope sometime’s never.

What’s the Point of Working…*

*…if money were no object?

I don’t think there’s any point in working if money were out of the equation. If we all had abundant food and full-time entertainment, we wouldn’t need anything else. We wouldn’t have to work at all, we could fool around and have a ball, even.

Some say, if money were no object, we’d have a fuller life. That we’d do more of what we loved, of what made us happy. That we’d follow our passions.

But is it so?

There’d be no point in waking up to a blaring alarm, fighting an urge to snooze, or ignoring the top palate while brushing.

There’d be no point in rushing out of the house, or remembering you hadn’t locked the door after you’d walked down two flights of stairs.

There’d be no point in clocking in 2 minutes before the penalty time, or skipping lunch to write a poem, or staying late to discuss the ANUS that had fallen to an all-time low.

If money were not an object, there’d be no point at all in getting out of bed every day. There’d be no traffic, no blaring horns, and no headlights blinding you when you walk home after a long day at the office.

If not for want of money, we’d have no reason to listen to the boss lecturing, or tolerate water cooler gossip. There’d be no dinner dates with attractive sales reps or compulsive flirting with the blond receptionist.

If we didn’t get up, suck up and go to work, we’d be at home on our couch, nibbling on potato chips, thinking about making art, talking about zen, and adding weight to the planet.

No, we wouldn’t follow our dreams, we wouldn’t even dream.

Life Goals

I wake everyday thinking to awe myself

I clock in earlier at work to awe my boss

I linger at the canteen to awe the woman

Regret wasting time, but awe her nevertheless

˙˙˙˙˙

I work late into night to awe my colleagues

Order for a fancy dinner to awe the waiter boy

And drown a pint of beer to awe the bartender

I’d throw up afterward, but awe them nevertheless

˙˙˙˙˙

I wake everyday thinking to awe myself.

And sleep at night thinking, “tomorrow.”