Category: Thoughts uncut

Flowing

Go with the flow, people say.

As if it’s so easy. As if it comes to us all without trying. But to get to that point of going with the flow, of making it look like it’s no brainer to be in the moment and letting things run their course, we need to make constant and conscious effort.

It’s anything but easy.

When I read a book or cook for myself, write something I care about or just walk down a nice road, I feel my inner self at peace. My mind and body will be calm and I continue. I flip the page and read another chapter, sprinkle some extra cilantro on my food, make my writing a little better, and take another turn instead of turning back. When my inner self is at peace, I let myself go, I feel myself going with the flow—even without trying too hard.

However, to find the inner peace within me, I had to discover what made me happy. I had to understand myself, try different things, persevere, and experiment every day with an open mind so that I know what makes me tick. I realise how contrary that sounds—who else would know our preferences better than us, right? Well, I think even we won’t know ourselves unless we test ourselves.

This testing process is trying. I often get stuck trying to understand what works for me. For example, when I’m under pressure to finish a certain task within a deadline, I can do it well. At the same time, though, when I have to finish a task within unreasonable time frames, it stresses me out. I won’t be able to do it as well as I could and that blocks my flow—my inner peace. And the only way I know this is because I’ve been there. It wasn’t pleasant, but it was helpful. So in a way, through consistent trial and error, we can understand ourselves better and do more of what makes us happy.

And that’s how we go with the flow.

—

Thanks for the muse, Kumud Ajmani and #SpiritChat.

Of innocence

A baby born the day before. A seasonal mango still unbitten. A young mind un-penetrated by the realities of life, a butterfly still in its cocoon, and a pre-teen living with their parents. A lot of nice and desirable things come to mind when we think about innocence. In many ways it’s an adorable trait even.

Nevertheless, when that innocence persists over time, it becomes an inconvenience. An adult who’s unaware of society’s structures, one who’s unaccustomed to facing impromptu situations, one who’s so innocent that they can’t even navigate the constructs of everyday life ends up a liability.

An unadulterated younger sibling at home might be fun, but when the same behaviour lingers at work, it holds everyone back. Think about this: an innocent child doesn’t know how to behave in certain circumstances. The same in an adult would mean that they’ve made no effort whatsoever to train themselves. Sure, laughing and joking around at an office party is fine, but not knowing why it’s inappropriate at a meeting with the board of directors isn’t charming. It’s inexcusable behaviour, and we can’t always shrug it off.

Such a person needs precise directions every time. They need someone to watch over them, tell them what to do and how, introduce them to people, spoon-feed guidelines, and hold their hand as they walk across the cubicle to talk to a senior team member.

That’s extreme innocence. It’s dependence. Not only is that annoying to others, but it also affects the individual’s growth. Unexposed to the actualities of life, they’ll live in their own little haven of imagination, believing only in what they want to believe, in a blissful manner, far too unassuming about how to get anything done.

It cripples them when they have to take up responsibility and prove themselves capable. If they’re unable to take on the challenge it affects their moral and mental health as well. They become the underdog, the weakling, the goat in a pack of wolves.

In a world that insists on independence, denying basic knowledge and exposure to a child places them at a disadvantage. It’s not how we should raise the future generation.

——

How do you interpret innocence? Good or bad?

The next stage in life

When we say graduation, we think formal education. Although that belief is flawed, part of it rings true: graduation is education. To that, I’d add, graduation is evolution through education.

Let’s break that down.

When we graduate from high school or college, we move from one stage of our life to another, better one. And we expect this new age in our life to offer a richer, and a more complete lifestyle. Because graduation is a promise that the future is open and it’s upon us to forge it as we wish.

The same is true of the mind. Regardless of our physical age, our mind undergoes multiple trajectories in its pursuit of growth. While some adults behave childish and amateurish, some youngsters embrace a far more responsible stance. The reason is that their minds have graduated—they’ve learnt from their experiences in life, assumed strong opinions, and have incorporated their learnings in their everyday activities.

That’s the meaning of true graduation—internalising the lessons from every good and bad incident and using that knowledge for our own and others’ improvement.

However, it’s near impossible to walk towards graduation alone. Whether formal education or the mind, taking the next step requires help at every step. Teachers, well-wishers, friends, and kin all play vital roles in the graduation of a person’s mind. Random conversations, everyday incidents, and the occasional family gathering are breeding grounds for support and encouragement.

As for teachers, throughout their careers they guide students from nothingness to proper adults, sprinkling thought beads all the time. I’ve had a few teachers like that. I didn’t know it then, but years later now, I realise I’d be nowhere if it hadn’t been for them. How I think and approach a situation, and how I handle pleasantness and unpleasantness depend on my teachers and the way they handled their problems. If teachers are the path, parents are the carpet that paves the way for graduation of the mind.

As humans, we observe people who influence us. We derive ideas from them and they drive us to think further and aim beyond boundaries. That’s the progression we should strive for—becoming the better version of who we are.

And that’s worth more than a piece of rolled up paper.

The past is now

Last year I spent a month in the US for work. And though I did work, I also had the chance to explore the city of San Francisco. I made so many wonderful memories and pictures walking those streets. Each of which I cherish to this day and will forever. Every photo has a separate story—what I was thinking at the time, how I felt, where I planned to go next…

One of such memories is walking down Haight Ashbury. It was a glorious fusion of the modern world and the retro world that always brings a smile on my face. It’s one of my all-time favourites.

Haight Ashbury

On leadership

There’re many things that make a good leader.

Willingness to help, a genuine interest in empowering their fellowship, a sincere involvement in causes they’re associated with… I could go on.

But, first, let’s talk about courage. Because that’s where it all starts.

What does it mean to be courageous leader?

The more I think about it, the more I realise that there are many types of courage. The physical courage to handle a team of rowdy millennials, the mental stamina to stand up to displeased contemporaries, and then the whole new realm of tackling business scenarios and making decisions. Every choice a leader makes on behalf of their team and business requires immense courage and ceaseless strength.

No wonder we have so many bad leaders. It’s not easy. Although most people I’ve seen crave for leadership roles in an organisation, I don’t think they know the implications that come along.

A leader exudes intense responsibility. Failing in that respect diminishes their credibility and deems them forever as an unsuccessful person. Besides, younger team members expect to learn from whoever’s in the leadership role. When that person lacks the courage—or backbone—to guide from example, they’re useless. When a leader places their own interest over the interest of those around them, they become an agent of foolishness.

That said, leaders face countless threats from all sides. And to deal with all that, they need to have their heart in the right place. Being able to empathise with their team members, share a genuine joke, and being open for discussion are important signals that a leader sends to their team. No two leaders will face the same struggles, and there aren’t stencilled ways to solve them.

Encouraging the team to share constructive criticism, listening to their opinions, assessing situations from multiple perspectives, and having a strong conviction about their decisions—all make for a great leader. The courage (driven by necessity) to shed their ego, to seek solutions to problems without losing their innate uniqueness—now that’s the kind of leader I want to work with (and then one day be).

Thanks for the muse, Tom Reid and the #ImpactMatters Twitter chat (Mondays at 7 pm Eastern Time).