Dreamers

dreamers

This quote so profoundly influenced me. It’s just a lyric from a song, but it’s the undeniable truth.

I’m a dreamer, and I’m happy that way.

But I sure won’t say no to something more than a dreamer!

The Writer Within Me

writer within

It began about a year after my tenth birthday. My classmates had discovered the power of hormones. Friends were categorized into guys and girls, and everywhere, butterflies erupted.

Meanwhile, I, the late-bloomer, was scratching my head at the sudden change around me. It became increasingly difficult to endure conversations with friends. How was I supposed to know how cute my friend’s neighbour was? School became a tiring, inescapable routine.

Home wasn’t any better. Luckily, my parents  lacked interest in mediocre television. We did have a TV set — modest and as old as I. Since it served the purpose, my parents preferred not to indulge in luxuries. Besides, we hardly engaged the idiot box. The news was the only thing my father deemed worthy of watching. And listening to people getting ripped off wasn’t exactly my idea of leisure.

That’s when I started looking for alternatives. It was surprising how free I was – so much time, yet so little to do.

More out of desperation than anything, I scavenged the house for old magazines. Tamil or English — it didn’t matter. As long as it kept me occupied. And occupied I was.

But when you’re reading magazines all the time, you realize they don’t publish them as often. Then I went back to square one. One day, I waited eagerly for my father’s return from work, and once he did, I stood in the doorway of his room leaning my head on the frame.

“I’m bored. Can you get me some books?”

My father isn’t the unusual kind. Good grades mattered most to him. And so he responded, “What about your school books? Are you done reading them?”

I wasn’t surprised, I half expected it. Everyone said that , it would have been surprising had he said anything else. Back then, I was young. And timid. I’d rather shut up and sit in a corner than speak back to my father. Not that I was afraid of him — he wasn’t the terrifying kind. It was the utmost respect that I held him in that prevented me from being rude. He has high regard for values and morals. Values my mother also shares. With such parents, I grew up learning to obey elders. I learnt — sometimes the hard way — that elders are experienced and know better than I ever would. It was one of those Indian mentalities you have to accept without questions.

But even I knew he asked too much of me. I was having a hard enough time in school and wasn’t willing to spend my time at home going through the same torture. I’d pretend to study just before my father returned home. When he saw me at it, he’d smile approvingly. I didn’t feel guilty — because I saw he was happy.

There was no point in being a rebel if no one’s going to benefit. That was my first action of disobedience.

But despite this little success, I was still bored. My mother was always supportive of reading. She was a voracious reader herself, but I could seldom comprehend her interest in newspaper articles. I think it was she who suggested the school library.

In the following weeks, I developed a close relationship with my school librarian. Not sure where to start, I decided to pursue a series I had always enjoyed. I discovered the entire series of Enid Blyton classics. As weeks turned into months, my librarian recommended a crime novel that not many students preferred. “The mirror crack’d from side to side” — it wasn’t love at first sight. It was a worn book with torn pages. How silly of me!

I had no way of knowing back then that that’s the mark of all wonderful creations. And so began my love for Crime.

Naturally, my father noticed. I’ve always admired his ability to recognize unconventional behavior. He’s something of a detective himself. What surprised me though, was his approval. Perhaps it was the pretense-studying, or that my grades weren’t so bad, or perhaps my mother had just put in a good word. Whatever it was, my father got me books – where from, I still don’t know.

Those were the best days of my life – days and nights of reading. And then one day, my father handed me “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.” I remember my hands tingling. I had heard so much about the book, of course. That day, I discovered my love for storytelling.

I read the book about twelve times continuously. To say I was hooked is an understatement. I revered the writing.

How could simple words, in sequence, captivate me so?

I tried to answer myself by reading the book and the series again. To this day, that’s what motivates my reading. The writing made me think. I knew the words; they were straightforward. So why can’t I write it?

Then I realized — writing is just finding the perfect sequence for words we overuse. Could it really be difficult? And so I began writing. Every new book I read helped me discover new styles and words, but Rowling’s writing was the  basis on which I built my passion.

Everything I read today kindles the inspiration for my short stories, poems, and blog posts.

Inspired by Anne Frank and the cartoon, “As told by Ginger,” my first writing was in my journal. I liked Anne’s idea of naming her journal “Kitty.” A neutral name — neither boy nor girl. I did the same, addressing my letters to ‘X.’ I still do.

The Ever-Changing Trait

Am I the same person I was two years ago?

Surely not.

Am I the same person I was one week ago?

Perhaps not.

Am I the same person I was when I began writing this post?

Nope.

Who am I? I am a changing person. I change so much that even I don’t know how often I change. My personality, my opinions, my attitude, my mood — everything changes. And these are such rapid changes that I’m not always aware of them happening.

We assume that we seldom change. Perhaps in appearance, we don’t much but our minds are ever-changing. And that’s hard to accept.

But that’s the break-even point. Once we realize that we’re constantly changing  — or evolving if you will — it crushes our ego. That’s what happened to me.

Sometimes in a lengthy argument, I begin strong but as we continue, I often change my opinions. Perhaps it’s my opponent’s argumentative ability, or that I give myself some time to analyze — either way; I change.

Once I accept that, I’d lost interest in arguing — I still can if I want to, but what’s the point? If someone makes a valid point, why not accept it? After all, there’s no harm in trying out others’ suggestions.

Some people call it a negative habit.

But then again, why is unlikable? We all change, so it’s only good that we accept the transition as quickly as possible.

Besides, sooner the better. Huh?

A Man Like Us

The Unknown Citizen – W. H. Auden

He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports on his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a
  saint,
For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.
Except for the War till the day he retired
He worked in a factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.
Yet he wasn’t a scab or odd in his views,
For his Union reports that he paid his dues,
(Our report on his Union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way.
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,
And his Health-card shows he was once in hospital but left it cured.
Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Instalment Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,
A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.
Our researchers into Public Opinion are content 
That he held the proper opinions for the time of year;
When there was peace, he was for peace: when there was war, he went.
He was married and added five children to the population,
Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his
  generation.
And our teachers report that he never interfered with their
  education.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.


I had to study this poem for an exam, and only then did I realize its beauty. I read through once, and it just struck me unlike anything else I’ve read recently.

It’s the life of an unknown citizen. 

It’s the life a person not unlike you and I.

It’s my life.

And then it hit me. I could live a simple life, an unknown, insignificant life and die the same way.

It’s the nature of life. There’s not much I can do about it.

Not everyone becomes recognized. Not everyone’s good under the limelight. Most of us end up as unknown citizens. 

It’s a little sad when you think of it that way.

Nevertheless, Abraham Lincoln offers some solace,

“God must love the common man. He made so many of them.”

Well, whether we end up unknown or super-famous, it never hurt to try.

Discovering Indo Soul

When it’s the strings, I am easily hooked. I am a guitar lover. I can not resist the strumming. And I can’t get enough.

It’s not just the guitar though. I saw David Garret perform the Pirates theme song, and it hooked me. Aside the talent — which is abound — Garret’s stage presence and the way he caressed the violin impressed me.

It was an old video on YouTube, but I felt the passion oozing from him.

Ever since, I kept an open mind. I am all ears for anything strings.

And this song is all about strings. But I still doubted the blending of genres. Why would anyone do that?

I later realized that it could be done, and done right.

When I first heard about Karthick Iyer’s music, I was’t sure. A fusion of Western and Carnatic? Is it worth it?

But I didn’t want to judge too soon — that never works.

I took a deep breath — and listen to the song.

Hmm. Not too great…

And again.

Ok, maybe…

And yet again.

What the — ?

I listened to another song of Karthick’s and I liked that. Now I had to figure: did I like just that song, or Karthick’s style in general?

Loop. Because I had to decode this.

To strip to the details —

The song is a blend of English and Tamil lyrics. When there’s no lyrics, there’s the Carnatic touch. Which not everyone would appreciate. As someone who’s learnt classical singing, I see the beauty of Swaras in a song, but people might consider it noise.

But that’s negligible, for two reasons.

One, Karthick’s voice is so deep and clear when he touches those notes, that it’s so good to hear.

The second, the instruments are awesome.

I raised the volume and closed my eyes, trying to drown the voice and focus on the instruments. The transition from western to classical instruments is so smooth, you can’t help but appreciate it. Particularly shifting from the Mirudangam to the guitars three minutes into the song — artful.

It’s the kind of music you’d expect on a long drive, when all you see in front of you is an endless stretch of highway tar.

Karthick’s voice drips Indianism, and he hasn’t tried to mask it. His vocals are clear and deliberate. His English pronunciation though, is a bit unheard of — perhaps an influence of his visits overseas.

The tune made me wonder. English lyrics in Carnatic tune? Haven’t heard much like it, nonetheless, it’s powerful in certain areas. Definitely serves the purpose.

I slept on it, and a couple of days later, I caught myself unconsciously humming this song.

That’s when I realized: I’ve heard enough to look forward to the rest of the album. I’m curious to see what Karthick’s team is capable of. The album, titled IndoSoul, launches on the 13th of June in Chennai, India.