Why I Ditched Earphones

I’m a musicaholic. I’m probably exaggerating, but you get the idea; I love listening to music. But then again, who doesn’t, right?

But, I ditch my ear phones — when I walk home.

I’m always plugged in at work — makes it easier to ignore a lot of people; all I have to do is stare at the screen like I’m too involved to talk or hear others talking. Drowns out a lot of disturbances too.

Anyway, I don’t plug in when I’m walking home. No, it’s not like a walk in the park, it’s not peaceful, not quiet and it surely isn’t enjoyable. And no, I don’t have company.

Walking in Chennai streets (during peak hours, with the vehicles racing by honking and blaring their headlight into your eyes) is like walking towards death. Not only in terms of accidents, but there’s the risk of hyper tension — which leads to a more painful death.

When I first started using the iPod, I was so excited to walk with my favourite music ringing in my ears. It was funny, to look at people’s faces as they rush to and from buildings with painful expressions. It was a kind of entertaining to watch them all in mute. Sounds a little evil? Well, the music was only self defence — it greatly improved my mood.

But soon enough, things changed. I saw a lot of girls, all plugged in and walking rigidly. They didn’t seem to be enjoying the music, their faces were filled every emotions but joy. It was odd. Perhaps they were afraid to smile when their favourite song played, scared because poeple would judge — that happens quite often, people are always looking for reasons to make others feel like shit.

And then it happened to me too. I don’t care about what others think of me, it happens to me all the time that I’m used to it now.

It bothered me more that I was getting distracted. I was always plugged in; at work, at the gym, and while walking home, soon after. The result: I had stopped actually listening to the music.

I never wanted that.

My mind was filled with other thoughts — general feelings, conversation replays, dinner, family, work, people, more people and people I hate being around.

Practically everything but the music that played in my ears. That hardly happened before, I used to be able to sit at length without thinking of anything. But the music broke that.

It was freedom — like never before. My earphones drowned the rest of the world, and suddenly reality was gone. I didn’t need to make conscious effort to ignore the world, it was easier to get into my own thoughts.

It mightn’t sound so bad, but it made no sense. I plugged in for the pleasure of music, and suddenly I couldn’t enjoy it. What’s the point?

So I decided to ditch the earphones. Now I can enjoy the music for what it is, and still drift away from reality whenever I want to — without using music as a distraction.

Makes sense?

The Moment

He waded through the traffic. ‘Why today?’ he thought furiously. People always had reasons to protest on streets.

He slammed the brake, narrowly escaping another rider trying to get through the bigger vehicles. He sighed. ‘Calm down,’ He had been saying that to himself all morning, to no avail.

As the building loomed, tension mounted, his pulse raced, and his hands were getting sweaty.

Parking his bicycle near a neem tree near by, he leaned against the bark, breathing the medicinal scent to clear his head. He tried to steady himself as his legs started shaking.

There! His heart hammered.

He walked up to her, taking the roses from his bicycle basket. Breathing deeply, he went down on a knee and extended the flowers mutely.

Several emotions crossed her face before she said it.

Longer than the others, here’s another one for Flash Fiction. Do let me know what you think.

Another year has come, and here I am… musing

It’s that time of the year again. The time to slowly and desperately count down to the end of the year, hoping only for what could be a better year.

A lot of people now are either talking of, or writing about how great, or in some odd cases, how plain and dull the past year was.

I’m going to do nothing new. It’s the same, old story; from rants and happiness; of work and fun to missed reunions.

2013, a year which I honestly didn’t expect to face. I did believe in the “Big Bang” that the Mayans deprived us of, sadly. But 2013 did come, and is now past.

It was a very confusing year for me as an individual. Facing exam pressure, coming out bruised but nonetheless glad, making big decisions, struggling to find my voice amidst my family’s inconveniently many loud ones, oh yes. Yes, what a scarily amazing year!

I won’t go into details of how the year unraveled before my sometimes-protesting eyes. That’s a boring story. But what really interests me is how much I’ve grown (figuratively, if course) over the year.

At the beginning of the year, I was one who people would call “living under a rock.” I was so far behind on current events, both good and bad, both economical and technological, both political and environmental.

Now, I am quite the same when it comes to being the all-informed person, but I have explicitly accepted that curiosity isn’t worthy of me keeping it. It isn’t just revelation, but realization.

I always had problems with being around people. I don’t mention it to anyone of course, but the thing is, I make it obvious when I am in the company of new people. I simply don’t get along. At the beginning of the year, I was a student and I thankfully didn’t have to face too many new eyes.

But as the year wore off, I moved off to another city and another society all together. The transition left me nothing short of a stunned. I was lost, despite having my brother, who was always around.

Scarily, I felt alone. It was all new. Being alone had never before bothered me, I was, in fact, a loner. I preferred being with myself most of the time.

But that’s not what the corporate world is looking for. They want people who would and could easily open up and socialize with people they’ve met a couple of seconds ago. I was a bit terrified. I like to take my time around people, I don’t rush into acquaintances or friendships.

My biggest habit was in question, and I suddenly was hunting for people who would listen without judging.

I ain’t good at finding people.

After witnessing a lot of people and their attitudes, I had learnt it the hard way — to save myself from a lot of pain, I should speak up, unless I’m alright with being crushed under others’ feet.

The world isn’t happy with you being quiet and personal. Introverts are expected to adopt extroversion, or the consequences would be hard.

If you’re someone like myself, you would know that embracing something that you are not is no easy thing to do. It’s like becoming someone else, while retaining the original you.

I am not going to join ranks with the ones in power, those who expect everyone to behave just like the way they wish them to be, but I’m not going to be quiet either. There are a lot of people who’d think silence is a mark of the weak. I am not of Gandhi’s level to smile serenely at their foolishness and wait for time to show them.

I will have to give people a taste of my mind, if that’s the only thing that would keep them from making a bad judgement.

That’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned last year. A lesson that took some of my naïvety, but it’s alright. If that’s what it takes to understand the harsh realities of life, then so be it. I have no use with being naïve.

So, that brings me to my resolution. I have decided that speaking up isn’t such a bad idea after all. Particularly, if it can get you a voice of your own.

Happy new year folks.

More About People

People come in all shapes and sizes. That’s the beauty of life; the variety. There are the good-humoured people who appreciate others’ efforts and views. We don’t find too many such people around here now though.

Then, there is the other kind, who can’t live without disturbing and distracting others, but despite all these kinds of people,variety, to this day, remains to be the spice of life.

This poem – ‘More about people’ by Ogden Nash; I found this in my mother’s treasured ‘Poems for pleasure’, a collection of a few of the best poetry ever found. When I first read this poem, I was amused; how true and how simply said!

Sometimes, when we attempt creative writing, we look to add tough vocabulary because we feel that’s creativity; using words no one else is familiar with. But many a time, the most creative of works consist of simple words. The simplicity of the thought and the usage of words themselves are rejuvenating. We fail to realize this at times.

This is yet another amazing lesson poetry has taught me. They say brevity is the soul of wit, but this poem plainly states that unpolished and naked words can be witty as well.

Coming back to the poem, what a complete picture it gives! And all it says is, more about people.

The best thing about the poem is that it’s undeniable. It is simply and truly said. See for yourself.

More about people

~Ogden Nash

When people aren’t asking questions
They’re making suggestions
And when they’re not doing one of those
They’re either looking over your shoulder or stepping on your toes
And then as if that weren’t enough to annoy you
They employ you.
Anybody at leisure
Incurs everybody’s displeasure.
It seems to be very irking
To people at work to see other people not working,
So they tell you that work is wonderful medicine,
Just look at Firestone and Ford and Edison,
And they lecture you till they’re out of breath or something
And then if you don’t succumb they starve you to death or something.
All of which results in a nasty quirk:
That if you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.

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