Tag: reality

A Journey Within… on the Highway

I think we made a huge mistake going for the movie. It made me ache in places I didn’t know I had. “A journey within” was the caption. I should have expected it.It was a really deep journey. Particularly the last 45 minutes, with a deep message — a social one (obviously!) but told in a subtly pricking way.

The locations were amazing. The music — needless to say, a A.R. Rahman musical. But there was something else — something that made me feel like I’m missing out on something in life. Obvious, you might think. Because it is. I am missing the liveliness of Nature. And watching Alia Bhatt reminded me a bit of a nomad’s life. Perhaps it was the icy mountains that added to the coldness that the movie ended with.

Later, when I was back home trying hard to not visualize the scenes in front of my eyes, something quite unexpected happened. Every programme on tv, and everything I spoke of with my room mates, reminded me of the movie. I simply couldn’t get it out of my mind. Even now, as I’m typing out this piece, first thing in the morning, I am listening to the songs. It seems like I can’t get over it, like trying to give up after multiple attempts at an unrequited love interest.

The greatest thing about the movie was that it was a love story, but not a love story too. It’s not one that we’re used to in Indian cinema. I know we’ve heard that comment too many times to know better than to believe it, but really, for me, this was so different.

Here’s what I found out: everyone who watches that movie can find themselves relating to the characters at least once. And I don’t just mean the girls.

From what I could deduce from my fellow audience in the theatre, almost all of them had that glum feeling of being stuck in reality, and not being able to make that one journey within, the journey that could change our lives.

Even I, who can’t understand a word of Hindi, was moved by the movie. This movie will reach heights. It might not make a blockbuster hit, and make it rain dollars, but it will touch the people. And that’s what makes “Highway” a successful journey.

Another year has come, and here I am… musing

going back

It’s that time of the year again. The time to slowly and desperately count down to the end of the year, hoping only for what could be a better year.

A lot of people now are either talking of, or writing about how great, or in some odd cases, how plain and dull the past year was.

I’m going to do nothing new. It’s the same, old story; from rants and happiness; of work and fun to missed reunions.

2013, a year which I honestly didn’t expect to face. I did believe in the “Big Bang” that the Mayans deprived us of, sadly. But 2013 did come, and is now past.

It was a very confusing year for me as an individual. Facing exam pressure, coming out bruised but nonetheless glad, making big decisions, struggling to find my voice amidst my family’s inconveniently many loud ones, oh yes. Yes, what a scarily amazing year!

I won’t go into details of how the year unraveled before my sometimes-protesting eyes. That’s a boring story. But what really interests me is how much I’ve grown (figuratively, if course) over the year.

At the beginning of the year, I was one who people would call “living under a rock.” I was so far behind on current events, both good and bad, both economical and technological, both political and environmental.

Now, I am quite the same when it comes to being the all-informed person, but I have explicitly accepted that curiosity isn’t worthy of me keeping it. It isn’t just revelation, but realization.

I always had problems with being around people. I don’t mention it to anyone of course, but the thing is, I make it obvious when I am in the company of new people. I simply don’t get along. At the beginning of the year, I was a student and I thankfully didn’t have to face too many new eyes.

But as the year wore off, I moved off to another city and another society all together. The transition left me nothing short of a stunned. I was lost, despite having my brother, who was always around.

Scarily, I felt alone. It was all new. Being alone had never before bothered me, I was, in fact, a loner. I preferred being with myself  most of the time.

But that’s not what the corporate world is looking for. They want people who would and could easily open up and socialize with people they’ve met a couple of seconds ago. I was a bit terrified. I like to take my time around people, I don’t rush into acquaintances or friendships.

My biggest habit was in question, and I suddenly was hunting for people who would listen without judging.

I ain’t good at finding people.

After witnessing a lot of people and their attitudes, I had learnt it the hard way — to save myself from a lot of pain, I should speak up, unless I’m alright with being crushed under others’ feet.

The world isn’t happy with you being quiet and personal. Introverts are expected to adopt extroversion, or the consequences would be hard.

If you’re someone like myself, you would know that embracing something that you are not is no easy thing to do. It’s like becoming someone else, while retaining the original you.

I am not going to join ranks with the ones in power, those who expect everyone to behave just like the way they wish them to be, but I’m not going to be quiet either. There are a lot of people who’d think silence is a mark of the weak. I am not of Gandhi’s level to smile serenely at their foolishness and wait for time to show them.

I will have to give people a taste of my mind, if that’s the only thing that would keep them from making a bad judgement.

That’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned last year. A lesson that took some of my naïvety, but it’s alright. If that’s what it takes to understand the harsh realities of life, then so be it. I have no use with being naïve.

So, that brings me to my resolution. I have decided that speaking up isn’t such a bad idea after all. Particularly, if it can get you a voice of your own.

Happy new year folks.

The Curiosity Factor; what’s wrong with not knowing?

I am not curious.

Yeah, I don’t care who killed that random person walking on the street. By the way, which person are we talking about anyway? Random street killings happen everyday. Try keeping a track of those for about 15 years, after which they convict the wrong person.

Isn’t it better to not be bothered about the how the once-great society turned to the sewers? Just forget about people killing each other. Don’t worry about it until you get killed, but then again, you would be killed, so why worry?

We’re all going to die. We would either die early or late. So what matters if one person drowned and another was shot? They just died, that’s it. It’s a perfectly natural thing to do. (even if the cause maybe quite otherwise) Why bother when you can’t do anything about it?

The next thing is the news. People ask me, “Have you heard the news? It’s all over the papers.” Hey! If it’s all over the papers, then why ask me? Go read the paper. I am just not interested in the unlimited things that happen everyday. They are going to happen regardless of the number of people who know about it.

Give me proof that rapes and murder cases have declined, just because a few thousand people are discussing it, then I’ll consider knowing, or even talking about it.

Until then, I’m better off without knowing current events. In fact, knowing the news of how many people actually die falling into open sewer passages isn’t going to make me cautious. Instead, it will only arouse fear. It’s going to make me this fearful person, who couldn’t dare to step out of the front porch because she was afraid that she would fall into a ditch.

Trust me, fear is worse, far worse than an ugly death. Death is heavenly. It’s this amazing thing that happens where you are, all of a sudden, freed from all of those factors binding you to earth . But people fear Death. As if you could evade Him (or Her, (I never thought of it that way!)) forever. It’s quite amusing to see the uncanny ability of us humans to gravitate towards the things that make us miserable.

Being “aware” of all the pathos is only going to hamper our ability to appreciate our lives, and by the time we do, it would be too late. We’ll never be younger folks — as far as I know!

Halfway Through Realizing a Dream

I’ve heard a lot of people talking a lot about the blissful feeling of achieving your dream, but let me tell you, it’s absolutely no use of listening to it until you do it yourself. Do I make sense? Blurry, right?

Well, here’s what I’m trying to say. People told me that when the joy you get when you fulfill your dreams is matched by nothing. I now realize the truth in those words. It’s one thing to watch, from the sidelines, at someone who goes out there and realizes their dreams, but it’s another thing altogether when you are looking at yourself one morning,  fully contented at having made your dream come true.

I’m just trying to say that I’m half way through my first attempt at a novel.

Yeah, it was a dream. Not any more; now it’s my reality. I signed up for National Novel Writing Month wondering if I could prove to myself that I could become the author I always wanted to be. Half way through the month, I have a satisfaction that I’ve never before had in my life. This is the most I’ve ever written in my life for a novel. There were countless beginnings, but I had never gone past three chapters, at the maximum. Now though, I’ve completed thirty chapters. Wow, I never knew I could surprise myself so much!

I’m on my way, 30 000 done, 20 000 more. Here I come!

PS: I know I didn’t have to write 250+ words to say that I’m  NaNoWriMo participant, but hey, this is the month of words!

Pissed off, totally

Workaholics!

Oh, bugger! These people are everywhere! Having newly joined as a trainee in a company, all I see around me is people who refuse to look away from their laptops. I’m surprised to see this though, because this is a place where people are supposed to enjoy working; they play cricket; catch up on latest gossips; get some coffee together. But I still call them workaholics because, honestly, I doubt that they think about anything other than their work, even while playing.

Their laughter doesn’t reach their eyes, the mirth doesn’t last long; they pretend to be sophisticated when all they want to do is have some fun honestly. I have a feeling that these people are not who they seem to be. Like they have two complete faces; one inside and another outside the company of their colleagues. Such a two-faced life!

Alas!

Not everyone is like that though; I’ve met some people who honestly say that they enjoy the job, or not. What annoys me is the pretence and false self-contentment of the  majority. Some are so pathetic. They know that they don’t like their job, yet they stick around, because they know that the money is good for their families. They are the pitiable who convince themselves that their life becomes worthy, when living for others’ pleasures.

Then, there is the other kind who feel that they love their job only when they have little or nothing to do at all. When these people are burdened with a heavy workload, they get so cranky and desperate. Oh, my! The look on their faces when they try hard to concentrate and try to retain the weight of their paycheck!

Are these, people who would listen to some stupid ranting of a youngster and try to change themselves? I don’t think so, but that doesn’t stop me from putting down my thoughts.

I’ve seen people who look up to the software community. I’ve seen the desperate longing in their eyes. Why?

It’s simple. Those who are not part of this elite believe this life to be paradise; that’s what they are forced to believe. All they see from the IT crowd is luxury. They cannot be blamed.

Not until they join this industry, that they realize that the life of a software guy is just disguised luxury.

This “software” industry just pisses me off. Already.