My brain on covid – day 5

The outside is tormenting me.

photo of the blue sky and trees outside the window as seen through a white lace curtain from inside the house

*Coughs heavily*

My brain on covid – day 3

2:30 am: Gosh, why can’t I sleep?

2:45 am: I’m going to scroll through Instagram.

9:55 am: Oh. Wish I’d woken up earlier.

10:10 am: Urgh, the water tastes so weird.

2:00 pm: Huh. When did I fall asleep?

2:30 pm: I can’t even bite into an apple. Is this what old age will be like?

3:30 pm: Oh, rain. Glorious rain.

4:00 pm: Does my head hurt or am I imagining it again?

4:15 pm: I’m bored. 

4:30 pm: I’m going to do some university course work.

4:35 pm: Is my body aching?

4:36 pm: Don’t think so. 

4:38 pm: My head?

4:39 pm: No. 

4:41 pm: Do I need to refill my hot water bag?

4:42 pm: No, you’re not cold.

4:44 pm: Have I recovered from covid?

4:45 pm: It’s possible. But you still have to isolate for a few more days.

4:47 pm: Why do I not feel sick?

4:48 pm: Why didn’t my symptoms get worse?

4:49 pm: Did I even have covid if I didn’t suffer? How’s that ok?

8:30 pm: This is boring. I’m going to watch something.

1:00 pm: I’m going to bed. I’m perfectly fine. What’s wrong with me?

2:00 am: Why can’t I sleep?

My brain on covid – day 2

11:00 am: Argh, why’s it so bright?

11:02 am: Shit. I’ve overslept! It’s a weekday.

11:03 am: Blame covid. Go back to sleep.

11:15 am: I need to brush my teeth.

11:21 am: Why does my head hurt?

11:22 am: Stop complaining.

11:23 am: I don’t have a fever. I don’t have breathing problems. Am I even sick?

11:24 am: Yes. Why does my head still hurt?

11:25 am: Am I hungry?

11:26 am: I want coffee. 

11:27 am: Drink water. 

11:28 am: Oh, yes. Haven’t had any all day.

11:29 am: That’s probably why your head still hurts.

1:00 pm: Did I fall asleep again?

1:01 pm: Yes.

1:05 pm: Shit. Why’s it so bright outside? 

1:15 pm: Oh, my lower back hurts.

1:20 pm: It’s like there’s a big rock attached to my head and I have to put it down every hour or so because it’s too heavy to hold up.

2:00 pm: Why’s the time so slow? Thank goodness it’s Friday.

2:05 pm: Hmm, does my head really hurt or am I just making it up?

2:10 pm: I don’t feel sick. Am I just being sick because I feel like I have to be sick?

2:20 pm: What if that rapid test showed a false positive and I don’t have covid at all?

2:25 pm: What if this is just tiredness and jet lag from the 20-hour layover and the 33-hour journey back?

3:00 pm: What a lovely day.

3:03 pm: I miss cooking. 

3:05 pm: Why’s the time so slow?

3:30 pm: That’s it. I can’t work anymore. 

5:00 pm: What’s this new show, Broadchurch?

5:30 pm: This is like Dr. Who living a mundane life. I like this.

9:30 pm: Damn, I forgot to reply to work. 

1:00 am: Oh, boss has texted an hour ago. What’s he doing up so late?

1:03: I’ll just reply before going to bed.

2:00 am: I can’t sleep.

2:02 am: Where’s my hot water bottle?

2:30 am: Instagram’s full of stupid people doing stupid shit.

My brain on covid – day 1

3:17 am: Why am I up at this hour?

3:18 am: Because you’re cold. Refill your hot water bottle.

3:19 am: Do I have a proper socks somewhere?

3:20 am: No. All the ones you have are holey, and is of no use.

3:21 am: I’m going to look at thermal socks online. 

3:25 am: Go back to sleep.

3:26 am: I’m not sleepy. It’s probably the jet lag kicking in. 

3:30: What’s on Facebook, I wonder.

3:33: Oh, here’s a funny meme. I’m going to share it.

3:33 am: Go back to sleep.

3:34 am: In a minute. What should I say in the caption?

3:34 am: “I’m exhausted, jet lagged, and confused. Don’t take me seriously”?

3:35 am: Ha, ha, funny. Not.

8:00 am: Why the hell is it so bright outside?

8:01 am: Oh, oh, oh, my head hurts.

8:03 am: Why’s it so bright?

8:05 am: Do I have to get up?

8:07 am: Oh, my colleague’s texted. “Are you ok?”

8:08 am: …

8:09 am: …

8:20 am: Shit, can’t believe I fell asleep again. 

8:30 am: Get up! Brush your teeth! Drink coffee!

8:31 am: Mmm, coffee…

8:45 am: Oh my head hurts. Ouch, and my back. Didn’t know that could hurt.

8:46 am: Where’s my hot water bag?

8:48 am: Should I take a selfie of my lying on the bed with the hot water bottle over my back? 

8:49 am: …

8:50 am: Don’t be stupid. You’d not going to post it anywhere. 

8:51 am: I’m taking it anyway.

8:52 am: Don’t you dare post it on socials!

11:00 am: Why’s the time so slow?

11:15 am: I’m going to lie down a bit.

11:20 am: Why’s the time so slow?

11:30 am: Am I hungry?

11:31 am: I’m having a tea anyway.

11:34 am: Might as well have some bread with it.

12:00 pm: Why’s the time so slow?

12:01 pm: I don’t know! 

12:30 pm: My head hurts. I’m going to lie down a bit.

12:31 pm: You do that.

12:45 pm: I think I need a poo.

12:46 pm: Probably for the best.

12:47 pm: Do I have to get up, though?

12:48 pm: You’ll have a lot more work if you don’t.

12:48 pm: Sigh. In a minute.

1:25 pm: Why can’t I type properly?

1:28 pm: Why can’t I put words in the right order?

1:30 pm: Brain fog, probably?

1:31 pm: Can’t be. I can speak clearly and read fine.

1:32 pm …

2:00 pm: I can’t believe I did so much work today.

2:01 pm: Well, you did have a lot of time on your hands. And no where to potter around.

2:30 pm: My head hurts. I’m going to lie down a bit.

3:30 pm: Should I eat something?

3:31 pm: Probably. Are you hungry?

3:32 pm: Not really. But I wouldn’t mind another slice of bread. 

4:30 pm: Why does my head still hurt?

5:30 pm: I’m going to lie down for a bit.

5:45 pm: How wonderful it is to lie and bed and listen to the ambient sounds. 

6:00 pm: Why does my head hurt? I’m going to close my eyes for a bit. That might help.

11:00 pm: What the hell!?

11:01 pm: You’re cold. Refill your hot water bottle.

11:02 pm: Oh, ffs.

My brain on covid – day 0

6:45 pm: It’s only been there minutes. Can it really be accurate? 

6:46 pm: Should I wait the full 15 minutes or—?

6:47 pm: It’s already showed positive. That’s not going to change just because you wait longer.

6:48 pm: Are you sure, though?

6:55 pm: It’s positive. Just get on with it.

6:57 pm: But I don’t feel sick!

6:57 pm: A lot of people don’t, you dumb arse. Doesn’t mean you aren’t.

7:00 pm: Can I go for my run in the morning, though? I feel like the fresh morning air would help. 

7:00 pm: Don’t be an idiot!

7:01 pm: Fine. I’m going to bed. My head hurts.

7:02 pm: Should I read a book?

7:03 pm: Good luck.