Five people in a meeting


What do you do in a meeting? I have a pretty short attention span for crappy yada yada and I zone out after a while. But if I do manage to stay awake, I look around at people of varying designations, gulping in tension while sweat runs down their faces.

There are the five common types of people in a meeting.

The bald guy: He’s the “bold” guy. The one who speaks in cliches like “bald is the new beautiful.” The one who thinks wordplay is his forte and everyone adores his clever wit. Alas, he may never know how mistaken he is.

The new recruit: She’s the fresh face in the company who’s running around introducing herself, asking questions, and making observations out of the obvious. She’s all eager to prove her worth, looking everywhere for the bubbling reputation — “even in the cannon’s mouth.”

The invisible: Ever seen a guy who looks like he’s not supopsed to be there? This invisible guy is the perfect combination of introversion and shyness. He’s still figuring out why he’s in this meeting at all, and wondering if he could go get a step out for a coffee.

The couple: The new weds, the new lovers, or just new team mates — they’re always together. Looking at them, you can’t help but wonder if one of them will fall off if they ever unlock their hands.

The speaker: *Clears throat* “Alright, everyone! If you can all write down your names in this sheet, we can go ahead and discuss why our WENUS (Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems) has dropped this quarter.” Oh, and he never does anything to improve figures in the next quarter.

Any of them ring a bell? Or have you encountered other interesting types?


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