The Lesser of the Two (D)evils


I don’t understand the American political scenario. Sure, I know Donald, and I know Hilary. As I typed their names, however, I realised that though Autocorrect knows Clinton it doesn’t recognize Trump.

Solace, at least I’m not the only one.

I don’t follow the debates on stage, and I don’t follow the debates behind the media scenes. From all I’ve heard and seen, both of them bicker at each other like siblings who can’t stand each other. And having an elder brother myself, I know that’s not pretty.

And to imagine they are representatives of the United States of America! From being a once-great country — looking at you Abraham — it’s funny how cheap US standards have become. Nevertheless, that’s how this pair is. You’d see sibling rivalry oozing between the two as they face each other, clinging on to their podiums.

I’ve tried and failed numerous times to fake interest in the matter, but I’ve failed every time. I just don’t care. Besides, the two of them only remind me of spoilt brats snarling at each other.

Donald Trump
He’s the younger sibling. Shouting is his way of handling an argument in which he doesn’t have a strong opinion (or a clue) about. He’s immature to engage in a conversation and has a lot of growing up to do.

If he takes his shouting it a little further, it becomes high-pitched wailing. He looks as if he’s ever-ready to start whining and moping. And when he’s not doing any of those things, he interrupts everyone else. He tries to override the other person by talking louder, harsher, and by repeating his weak statements.

And his idea of a healthy debate is to force people to hear him out.

Sounds to me like a schoolboy dying to get the world’s attention. And oh, he has incredible stamina. Hilary doesn’t have it, by the way.

Hilary Clinton
Going with the sibling theory, Hilary’s the older one. Compared to a six-year-old Trump, she’s a thirteen-year-old who’s just realised the power she exudes at home. Her parents trust her because she’s older than her brother, and therefore has more experience in society.

She just has to look them in the eye and remind them of previous occasions where Donald had been mean to her. And the best part — her arguments get stronger when she throws in real life examples of Donald’s bad mouth. It’s not that difficult.

All the girlfriends of the sister would help pick on her annoying, conniving, and thieving little brother. Remember, every woman Trump has insulted will vote this November.

And unlike little bro Trump, she doesn’t throw tantrums. She realises that by staying mute in the face of his outbursts, she’d come out looking good.

She never has to pull herself together to retort because when there’s a child such as Trump in the scene, no one expects the big sister to argue like a child, too.

Hilary is the mature one. She’s the bigger person. Trump makes a fool of himself even without her help. And she’s counting on him to ruin his candidacy.

Of all the people you could’ve chosen, America, you went for a pair of squabbling kids. Well done, and all the best with life after November.

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